what do you do about interfering ratty relatives who are too old themselves....?

Question

and don't let us enjoy our lives in peace. They seem to have a problem with if i want to help others and because i am successful in what i do. They want to make my life hell with my family. What should i do to stop this i need some good advice.

Answer 1

good question 1 thumb up,

if u r able, shift away to another town, suburb. find reason & hobby that cause u to be out of house often. make enough excuse & they may get the hint.

tell them straight & honestly what they are doing to u if they are thick.
take care peace, lady

Answer 2

Well, the kindest thing you can say for them is that they love you and don't want you to make a mistake or get hurt - though I have a mother-in-law that I keep trying to do that with and it isn't always easy.

As we get older, we need to remember that the older generation is made nervous by things they don't really know about or understand from a current perspective. It is often kinder just not to tell them of the things you do that might upset them - let them be happy in their ignorant bliss, as it were.

Here are some things you can do:

- Don't share the details of your life with them - and when they tell you what to do, say "I never thought of that" or "thanks for the advice" and walk away from them.

- You can also kill them with kindness, and then they look like the mean ones to the rest of the family.

- Intention and visualization can be very helpful in changing your relationships with people. It is important for you personally to see them in a better light - cause if you expect them to be cranky and judgemental, they surely will be. So spend 3-5 minutes a day vividly visualizing them in your mind as happy, healthy, supportive people. See them smiling and the warmth that should be there in their eyes and face. Then see yourself with them - all of you happy, at ease and kind to one another. This is the only way that I have been able to get over hurts that I have received from my Mother'in-Law, and it works very quickly when you do it consistently and vividly. I try to do my visualizing as I go to sleep, when I wake up and any other time of day when I can take 3-5 minutes of quiet time.

Peace!

Answer 3

Limit your available "family" time. You may have to tell some "white lies" as to why you cannot have company or come to visit. If they pop in unexpectedly, you may have to tell them you were just on your way out, and actually have to get in your car an go around the block. Of course you will have to spend some time with them, but try to keep your visits short and pleasant. Remember that they are old and will not be around forever, and most likely they think they are helping out with there advice and life experience's. If this doesn't work, you may just have to speak your mind, but then of course their will be hurt feelings, which is never a pleasant thing for either person. Good luck!

Answer 4

Stop worrying about what they think! Choose your own life and avoid the Ratty ones as much as you can. Worse still have a fantastic life it will just make them miserable!

Or you could try the old 'lock the Ratty relatives in the shed ,till they promise to be nice' routine. It does not work but it makes you feel better!

Answer 5

this happened to me when I had my first child. mother in law was looking after him two days a week and it seems that she thought that she was allowed to do what she wanted with him and when she wanted... I had to tell her and after a few times or me saying things in front of other people it finally stopped, my mum was a bit like this aswell and she still trys to tell me what to do with my life and how to do things but I have to just answer back and tell them straight that I am going to do what I want to do and how I want to do it, I think that this is the only way as if you avoid them you always run the risk of them still telling you how to do things and interferring when you see them. be strong and stand up for yourself, they will back off as these sorts of people never like being told themselves.

Answer 6

Are you sure you have this right? with age comes wisdom,and one day you will be old,so please try to show a bit of respect,how on earth can they be making your life hell,you say that you are successful,so whats the real problem here i wonder,if you are of age then you are free to do what you want

Answer 7

Avoid them as much as possible. If you see them often tho just live your life however you choose to. If your feeling brave just politely tell them you welcome advice but not interference - they should soon get the hint! They'll soon get bored of trying to interfere when they see you won't take notice of them.

Answer 8

kill em