how can i help my son?

Question

when it comes to school he gets very negetive, he always tells me that he is dumb,stupid, and ugly, he thinks very low of him self
he is not ugly and he is not dumb and stuid, he is very smart, i always let him know that he is a smart and good looking boy but he don't care what i have to say, i think it's because he is in middle school and kids usually don't take thier moms advice, what should i do to make him have a higher self esteem?he is always using the words i cant, and i dont know and i tell him all he has to do is try. i don't know what else to do. i feel bad for my baby.

Answer 1

Moms are supposed to say those things... he needs something else to make him feel good about himself, because words aren't enough right now.

Does he do anything after school? Sports, clubs, volunteering? Getting him involved in activities like this can drastically help improve his self esteem.

ALSO, you may consider taking him to a therapist. There may be some other underlying issues he doens't want to talk about or doens't know how to talk about - maybe he is being bullied, maybe he is confused about the hormonal changes going on inside him, maybe he just has a hard time seeing that every kid is going through a tough time at this age - talking to a therapist can help him talk about these things and give him better ways to cope with the stress of growing up.

Answer 2

Get some quotes from some people that he might identify with. Point out his strengths. Talk about his weaknesses and how they can be overcome. Let him know that what he considers to be a weakness is probably not and maybe even a strength. Make the kid do his homework and take him to the library and make him read. Encourage him to look into positive role models. Enroll him in a sport or encourage him to take up a non-team sport like running or swimming. Let him know that his future is in his own hands.

Answer 3

I have the same problem sometimes, and my son is only 9. I just point out what he has done well (it works best if you tell him right after he's done it..."Hey, good work on thet math problem", etc) and when he says he can't do anything I look at my son and say " You are so much better than that attitude...I know you can, and so do you. It takes some practice, and a little help at first is all." And yes, I agree with the Martial arts and therapy...my sonm is doing both.
Hope this helps!

Answer 4

Take him to a counselor who can help him learn ways to improve his self esteem. This will take less time and help more than if he tries to figure it out completely on his own when he's much older. If he is smart, then there are lots of things probably going through his mind right now, lots of worries. You say he uses words you don't know, so I'd help him as best as you know how already (you sound so sweet!) and also take him to see a good counselor.

Answer 5

Continue to encourage him- to the point that you feel like your maybe overdoing it and make it sincere. Unfortunatly he most likely gets made fun of at school for whatever reason and that can really bring you down. Always remind him that he can count on you whatever the circumstance. Maybe visiting with his teachers to see what his personality is in school and helping him with his homework if needed. If he is above average smart then kids may be making fun of him for that reason or if he is falling behind academically. They may also be making fun of his clothes or the way he does his hair-you really never know. The best thing you can do is be his postive from all of the negative and remind him that its okay to be who he is and that you believe in him-I wish you all of the best!!

Answer 6

do NOT jump to therapy and pills, for christ's sake. this will only reinforce the idea in his head that he's different, and has a problem that requires help.

nowadays, whenever any kid has any kind of problem, people always spout "therapy & medication!" blow that off.

all kids go through a negative stage. just remind him that he's loved, and continue with the positive reinforcement.

of course we dont know the kid, but when i was young, i did the same thing, except i didnt actually believe that i was dumb or stupid. it was just an excuse so that my mom wouldn't get mad at me for my poor grades, because i was too lazy to do the homework.

anyway, like i said, just support him. that's all you can do.

Answer 7

You need to get some help for him. I suggest some group counseling with other boys his age!! And some sort of after school activity like the gym or soccer something where he can work hard and feel good but most of all YOU MOM next to him!!

Answer 8

yeah, I know where your coming from. Buy a few inspirational movies, true stories like Gandi where the little guy kicks butt. Maybe buy a book called "The Magic of Thinking Big", (don't give it to him, leave it where he might find it), it's about 50 years old but still in print. Alternatively, if he's old enough get him a job.

Answer 9

Don't treat him like a baby. Get him involved in a sport. something must be happening at school that is making him feel this way. Keep talkin to him and let him know you are there for him and to trust you.

Answer 10

i have 3 boys,grown now but they all go through that stage.some of it is very real, but some is just to get reassurance from you.if you really see a problem take him to a Dr. or at least see the councilor at school for an evaluation.