I have been having really great "sexually explicit phone conversations" with this guy for a few months now and last night we finally got to be together physically....OMG! it was awful!!! He was much better at it on the phone. He says it was great and wants to do it more often in person than on the phone. I dont know what or how to tell him that it s u c k e d. How can I tell him without putting him down?? Help!
2006-09-08 04:06:52 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What a disappointment for you. Maybe suggest he actually tries the things he said he would do to you. If that doesn't work, you can always use the "It's not you, it's me." excuse.
Sorry you were so disappointed. Better luck next time.
2006-09-08 04:10:46 · answer #1 · answered by I love my husband 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG, yes! I think what happened, is that your Expectations were so high, and when you dont really know what a guy looks like or spent much time with him in person, then you formulate this "ideal" of him to be much more than he is. It is unfortunate, but true. Since the "relationship" was really based on the physical, then the emotional was never really strong to begin with, otherways, you would have mentally tried to compensate for his lack of "pizazzz". Be honest, just tell him that you are not feeling the same way. Honesty is best in this situtation, you will only drag on this phone relationship then, and worse, he will insist on meeting you once more. I dont think you would be putting him down, just tell him - that the sparks did not feel the same in person, and perhaps you both should start just being friends. You never know, you might end up liking him as a person, leading into those hot phone calls again, and maybe someday a spicy get together. But in the mean time, just cut the cords.
2006-09-08 04:12:23 · answer #2 · answered by Vikki Nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all guys aren't really that picky when it comes to having sex as long as they are getting it..lol If you don't feel that you are sexually compatible then I would advise you cut off the relationship all together. What kind of long term fulfillment are you going to get from phone sex? It doesn't sound like this is anyone that you have any emotional feelings for so I would advise ending it and saving you both the trouble of going through the motions. If all you are interested in is a physical relationship then I would tell you to end this one and find someone else.
2006-09-08 04:11:08 · answer #3 · answered by amyclay350 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sexually explicit phone conversations before meeting can lead to this. You fall in love with an image, instead of the person and it leads to disappointment. If you want it to get better the last thing you want to do is tell him it was bad.
2006-09-08 04:16:49 · answer #4 · answered by ligoneskiing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never an easy way to tell someone that they are not good in bed. Maybe it was the first time jitters. Or maybe, you built him up some much from the phone conversations that you expected more. Best thing to do is not put yourself in the situation where you have to be physical!
2006-09-08 04:11:14 · answer #5 · answered by crandle55 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG . Did you ever hear of std's or pregnancy? Girl you should have more respect for yourself than that. But back to the point. Well tell him ur not interested rather than have him drooling all over you in the future and pestering you. I would want to know if I wasn't that god or if I wasn't wanted anymore. I know that's easier said than done but he will probably appreciate it. You don't have to tell him he sucks! Just tell him how you want it. NOT HOW YOU DON'T WANT IT. give him a few pointers. But really it's not worth the risk anyway.
2006-09-08 04:13:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What Vikki H said, but also, Don't tell him it sucked. Find another reason. "It just didn't feel right." or "I don't know doing it for reall changes things, I preferred thing the way they were." Putting someone down will give you bad carma and it will come back to you some where when you least expect it. Find a way to distance yourself from him. Everytime he calls, be busy doing something else. Eventually, he will move on.
2006-09-08 04:12:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him its over. People will lie to get you in bed with them. And think about it. What good do these type relationships accomplish? Do you intend to find the man who want to live the rest of your life with by having phone sex? These type relationships aren't lasting. Do you know he may have also met 10-30 or more other girls just like you and has probably had un-protected sex with some of them. Please be careful.
2006-09-08 04:20:01 · answer #8 · answered by son-shine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fantasy and the build up is usually a total let down when it finally happens.
In order for things to be good in person, some real time has to be spent together, open minded, and give him direction on what you like and don't like.
You were pleasing yourself so of course it was good cuz u know what u like.
Use this is a learning experience.
2006-09-08 04:11:00 · answer #9 · answered by koleebear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was bad try to spice it up Maybe you can show him a few things tell him what you like Trust me he will do whatever you ask him to do. Another suggestion is to bring some sex toys with you the next time have some fun!
2006-09-08 04:10:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really like him? If you do then I will say try and work with him. If not then you say when he calls, make the calls short, I have to run now. and say, I think I am just not ready to be serious with anyone at this time, it has nothing to do with you, It is just at this point in my life, it is a lot of things that I want to accomplish.
2006-09-08 04:16:23 · answer #11 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋