Why are some people so nasty to waiters and waitresses?

Question

In the next town over, there is a nice restaurant which I frequent.
One of the waitresses mentioned something to me one day about nasty customers. I do not understand this, especially since she is just about the most wonderful person I have ever met.
She flies all over that place, doing the work of two people.
She is always smiling , very upbeat, always helpful and has a kind word for everybody. In addition, she is very beautiful--tall, slender, peaches and cream skin.
I would think that people would fall all over her, trying to be her friend, but some people can be very nasty to her.
Two more things---You have probably noticed that I am quite taken with her, but please give me credit for realizing that I am old enough to be her grandfather. And I am planning to see that she gets (ANONYMOUSLY) any positive feedback which I hope shows up here.

Answer 1

There are several reasons behind this. They have never been a server is probably the biggest one. Then you have the couple where the man is paying more attention to the beautiful waitress (I actually had a women take the tip back off the table her husband left for me). I learned not to look in the man's eyes for very long and always address conversation to the wife. Then there are those people that are just nasty negative people that hate everyone but mostly themselves. Then you have the poeple that just simply had a bad day. I once had a lady scream at me and throw a menu in her childs face because the buffet was over. I went in the back and cried because I thought she was going to attack me or one of her own children.

Christmas, and Thanksgiving are very bad days to have to waitress to. It brings out all the lonely hateful people that realize they don't have anyone and take it out on the waitress. Valentines Day is 1/2 and 1/2. It depends on the type of resteraunt you work at. I worked for Pizza Hut on Valentines Day once and refused to ever do it again. You do get the families in where the kids wanted to treat mom and dad to a treat (it's a treat to them so it must be a treat for mom and dad) and those tables are wonderful. The ones that are horrible are the ones that came in to eat because they don't want to be alone but no one wanted to share Valentines Day with them. They don't think about the fact that we have to work so we are not going out to dinner with anyone either so the waitress really gets the short end of the stick and has to put up with there sh--.

Non-Servers out there please please please realize that it is a really hard job to do. You are on your feet all day long running around trying to do five things at once or more when it is really busy. You put up with some really hateful people that can not help but ask for a million things and never ask for two things at once right in the middle of dinner rush.

Proper etiquette to servers. Try to ask for things all at once. Extra napkins, water/drinks, and other items you notice you need. Don't be afraid to ask for something else that you left out just try to ask for things all at once so it keeps her trips to the table organized and to a minimum. If you have had a bad day and need to take it out on someone go home! If you are just one of those nasty people that hate everyone then do yourself and the rest of the world a favor and lock yourself in the house as much as possible and order take-out! Tip please tip. Servers know they are not always going to make a tip over 20% but it is nice to get that once in awhile when someone has gotten great service and can afford to give the extra tip. If you are tipping less than 15% and getting great service then you shouldn't be going out to eat. There are times that I can't afford much of a tip but I keep my eating out to a minimum when I can't afford it. If you get bad service then yes tip accordingly. I have left a 2 cent tip before myself. She brought me soda water instead of water. Argued with me about what it was and then through out my food because I was sick from the soda water and couldn't eat it. She took it and walked away and didn't wrap it to go for me and I only had two bites out of it. I wanted to throw the soda water in her face but kept it under control. She shouldn't be a server and I told the two young ladies behind me that too becuase they didn't want to tip her because she wouldn't come back to there table except to drop off the check. They were young, black, and female and was willing to tip more than 20% for good service but did not get what they diserved. If the food doesn't taste good that is not the servers fault. Tip on the service not the product.

By the way I am no longer a server at any resteraunt. I didn't want to make a career out of it because it is too much work, too little pay for all the work and nastiness, and you have to deal with all kinds of nasty people. I do miss some of my customers and wonder how they are but there was too few of them and too many of the nasty hateful people. Servers I applaude you for being able to deal with all the crap.

Answer 2

WOW, for me, melemitz reply belies the true main issue you might be addressing. "Why persons are nasty to servers" because they(the nasty purchasers) consider they're better than the carrier provider, and considering they (the nasty consumer) have a way of entitlement that this country has so regrettably embraced. The equal intent they converse loudly on the telephone while doing their industry at the bank, submit-administrative center or grocery, on account that the provider supplier they're dealing with does not deserve their full attention. The same cause these same people anticipate that any person serving them, from waiters and bartenders, or bank tellers and retailers to police and firemen are much less clever or less pushed than they are. So wrong! Disgrace on all of us, for allowing the behavior. Consider when you're in a pub in England no one asks what you do, they simply come to a decision whether they want to speak to you through figuring out you probably have whatever intriguing to claim. I've been within the restaurant industry for years and i have best once visible anyone do something suspect to food/drink. Oh yeah and to all of the melemitz' out there, i have my degree and an IQ that will knock your socks off so watch out where you choose :) again melemitz is any such satisfactory instance...An angry, unhappy character, lashing out with pointed words and profanity. You recognize using profanity most commonly indicates an insufficient vocabulary...So Melemitz to your bitter, childish remarks...I got that you just suppose you're better than any one from your assertion that the person asking the query must get an education and a brand new job...Probably they choose what they do for a dwelling and simply as doubtless they have or have become an schooling. The factor I was once making (that was without doubt lost on you) is that carrier enterprise staff are from all walks of existence and phases of schooling, they aren't pressured into the positon, and on the very worst, if it can be now not a job they pick at least they don't seem to be on the dole. You will have to study to learn higher, as well, i am not a waitress and i am very happy with where i am at in my existence. What makes you so bitter and protecting? Bad childhood, unhappy existence, dangerous relationship, do not like what you see within the reflect?

Answer 3

I don't know, I come from a different time and was raised to treat everyone with kindness and respect. Also, I believe that people who like and respect themselves, and are comfortable in their own skins, don't need to behave that way; they have nothing to prove, to themselves or others.

Unfortunately, I think that people in the service industry have to put up with this kind of behaviour too often. Some people seem to confuse "service" with "servitude", and believe because they are paying for a particular service, it somehow places them in a position above the person providing the service - they're the boss! Obviously, these people have personality problems; they have a false sense of superiority which really masks an inferiority complex and lack of self esteem - to compensate they elevate their own self-worth & importance at the expense of others. Actually, their bad behavior is a reflection of their own bad character and most people can see that.

I know waitressing is hard work and dealing with the public on a daily basis isn't always easy. But I must say this, the waitresses and waiters I've seen, when treated badly by nasty customers, usally react with such grace and dignity that my hat goes off to them - so who's really the better person?. The nasty customer just comes off looking like a fool, if only he/she could she it.

Answer 4

People in service industries are constantly on the receiving end of verbal abuse at the hands of customers. I think that people somehow feel that they are better than the people providing the service and think they can treat them unfairly. Management doesn't help the situation by always taking the side of the customer as they don't want to lose business. They don't care if their staff gets abused, as long as they make money. I used to be a restaurant manager and I can tell you first hand though, you NEVER want to mess with people that handle your food and drinks. I wasn't the type to tamper with people's food, but I heard a lot of stories after the fact. Everyone should treat their waiters and waitresses with dignity, respect and kindness. Should be a no-brainer, but some people just weren't raised correctly. Glad that you found someone that you feel works so hard. Just keep treating her well and tip her appropriately to show your appreciation. Nice post!

Answer 5

WOW, for me, melemitz reply belies the actual challenge you're addressing. "Why persons are nasty to servers" considering they(the nasty consumers) consider they are higher than the carrier supplier, and considering they (the nasty buyer) have a way of entitlement that this nation has so alas embraced. The identical purpose they talk loudly at the mobile at the same time doing their trade on the financial institution, publish-workplace or grocery, considering the carrier supplier they are handling does not deserve their complete concentration. The identical purpose the ones identical persons anticipate that anyone serving them, from waiters and bartenders, or financial institution tellers and outlets to police and firemen are much less wise or much less pushed than they're. So fallacious! Shame on all people, for enabling the conduct. Think while you are in a pub in England no person asks what you do, they quite simply come to a decision whether or not they desire to talk to you by way of finding out when you've got some thing intriguing to mention. I've been within the eating place trade for years and I've most effective as soon as obvious anyone do anything suspect to meals/drink. Oh yeah and to all of the melemitz' available in the market, I have my measure and an IQ that might knock your socks off so watch out wherein you pass judgement on :) Again melemitz is this sort of excellent illustration...an indignant, unsatisfied individual, lashing out with pointed phrases and profanity. You realize the usage of profanity most likely suggests an insufficient vocabulary...So Melemitz in your sour, infantile comments...I received that you simply consider you are higher than anyone out of your announcement that the individual asking the query must get an schooling and a brand new process...might be they prefer what they do for a residing and simply as most probably they have got or are becoming an schooling. The factor I used to be making (that used to be absolutely misplaced on you) is that carrier enterprise employees are from all walks of existence and phases of schooling, they are not compelled into the positon, and on the very worst, if it isn't a task they prefer no less than they are not at the dole. You must gain knowledge of to learn higher, as good, I'm now not a waitress and I'm very blissful with wherein I'm at in my existence. What makes you so sour and protecting? Bad early life, unsatisfied existence, unhealthy dating, do not like what you notice within the reflect?

Answer 6

I was a waiter for 8 days once in between the USAF and finding a job in my chosen career. It was the hardest 8 days of my life. I am a very nice, friendly guy with a quick smile and kind word for everyone. However, that simply wasn't enough to get me through a shift, I was a terrible waiter and learned first hand exactly how hard 'bringing food to the table' is in reality.

Believe me since that time my tips have been more generous, I am way more understanding and I respect wait staff more.

Answer 7

This is a VERY good question!

I am military now, but I moonlighted as a waiter for a little while to help make ends meet.

It is hard to understand why some people act that way but here's my take:

I think that those individuals are so displeased with themselves that it makes them feel better to take the opportunity to abuse someone else and make them feel like crap. Wait staff at restaurants are easy targets because more or less they have to just "take it" if they value their jobs. It's a crappy situation because you have to tolerate their behavior even though you know that they know better...yet they do it anyway because they figure that you can't complain.

It is rather stupid to do considering that this person is handling your food and much of that time is out of your line of sight. I never "altered" anyone's meal, but that doesn't mean the thought didn't cross my mind...and in some cases I wouldn't blame someone for doing it. If you are dumb enough to be nasty to someone who willingly waits on you and brings you your food, you deserve whatever they put in it. In lots of ways, it is a thankless profession but sometimes, one heartfelt "thank you" can make the job worthwhile. I know it did for me.

Answer 8

Some feel that anyone in a position of servitude is beneath them. This is true for housekeepers, as well (been there, done that). And what boggles me the most is that some who are disrespectful have no job, or an even more mediocre one. These should think about how they would like to be treated before disrespecting the waitor or waitress. If she's as pretty as you describe, could be jealousy.

Answer 9

some people think that waiters and waitresses are below them and more often then not most of those people are working for big companies. I know that that is a stupid opinion.I know my aunt wouldn't want any other work then to be a waitress.hell they make uch good money mot refuse to be paid because they get paid more in tip then what they would get in salary.as your waitress sounds like most would wait on other people are kind and that is why some chose the job.simply because they could meet other people and help people too. the people who are nasty are too caught up in their lives to realize that they see angels everyday.the angels that take a couple of hours everyday and bring them things.

Answer 10

it is sometimes true some people are rude i have waitressed and bartended for 25 years and most of the people are wonderful which is why i have been in this business so long the money is also great most people believe that waitresses are of a lower class so they take that attitude when dealing with their server i have had a lady whistle to me and try to hand me her used dental floss (no i didnt take it ) to having a mother to tell her kids to " say thank you to the lady beneath us " rude indeed but the good people always out do the mean i am sure that your friend enjoys her good customers alot and you are why she is able to continue working as a waitress

Answer 11

I'm a waitress at my husbands restaurant and i think the reason people are like that is because they have never worked in a restaurant themselves. It is a harder job then what alot of people think. And I give the most credit to people who do work as waiters or waitresses.