Me and my Husband have been married 4 months and his dad lives with us. His dad is 70 something and i just want it to be us but i dont want to kick him out either because he's old..what do i do?
2006-09-08 02:54:43 · 12 answers · asked by chatterbox4christ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Maybe you should try to have a talk with your husband about putting your father in law in a home. Try to find out the positive aspects of him moving there. He will get a special help from a nurse, do activities, meet friends his age. All at the same time you and him will have some privacy.
2006-09-08 03:00:20 · answer #1 · answered by TroubleRose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to suggest something radical here... talk to your father in law. Old people are still people and talking about them like they're the wallpaper you want to replace isn't going to win you points on either sides. Discuss it with both of them. Maybe his dad senses you don't want him there and would really rather leave but doesn't want to be rude or know how. Think of an alternative before bringing it up. For example and apartment or his own little house or, if he needs it, a nursing home, or seniors' community. Ask where he'd like to go. Explain that it's not because you don't like him or want to see him but just because you want some time alone with your husband before you start giving him the grandchildren and stuff (if you are planning on that, or the dog, or the career focus). Keep it open, whether you really mean it or not, by saying if he doesn't like it on his own, or you need his help, maybe he can come back if he wants.
2006-09-12 09:47:21 · answer #2 · answered by KeM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've rally only got two choices toss him or deal! Personally I'd say jut deal! The man is in his 70s and unless he is causing problems for your husband and you then really what's the problem? Your husband loves his father and wants to be there for him you should respect that and understand... Besides what if it were your parent that needed you? Would your husband want to get rid of them or would he just accept it? You love your husband so let him enjoy what little time he may have with someone that he loves... But if I were you I would talk to him and tell him how you feel but I wouldn't push for any changes... He loves his dad and loves you don't make him choose.
2006-09-08 11:45:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did this just dawn on you as a problem? Wasn't dad already there when you married? If I were you I'd discuss arranging more private time for you and your husband by finding someone to take dad for weekends, or taking weekend trips on your own.
2006-09-08 11:44:18 · answer #4 · answered by Mary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really only have two options: keep him or kick him out. Decide what's more important for you. Are there other family members he can live with? A very nice retirement community he can live in?
Or, perhaps you can sell your home and buy two adjacent properties, like mobile homes, so that you are close by but still apart. This is a bit extreme, though.
2006-09-08 10:00:03 · answer #5 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe if there is other family close by maybe someone else can take him 1 weekend a month or 2 weeks in the summer-something like that to give you and your husband some alone time
2006-09-08 10:05:10 · answer #6 · answered by coldasice617 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just think of this. His father is kind of old and doesnt really have much time left. Your husband and you should enjoy the little bit of time left you have with him and when he is gone things will turn back to normal.
2006-09-08 10:43:18 · answer #7 · answered by Yen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont you think you should have thought of this before you married the man? You accepted him, father and all. Now, 4 months later, you want to change. Good luck with this one because your gonna need it.
2006-09-08 09:57:00 · answer #8 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
WITH FAMILY COMES THINGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE MY SON AND HIS WIFE AND 2 YR OLD SON LIVE MY HUSBAND AND I WE TRY TO GIVE EACH OTHER TIME ALONE AT HOME AND WE HAVE NITES THAT WE ALL GO OUT TOGEATHER IT JUST TAKES SOME TALIKG AND PLANNING TO FIND TIME ALONE SOME TIMES MY KDIS GO OFF FOR THE WK END TO B ALONE AND SOME TINMES ME & D GO IT JUST TAKES PALNNIG YOU DO WHAT U GOT TO DO ITS FLY.
2006-09-08 10:00:37 · answer #9 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your screwed there the old dude is there until he passes in 20 more years
2006-09-08 10:05:45 · answer #10 · answered by mrmiketattoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋