How can I let go of my worries?

Question

I often find that I am so consummed with worrying about things being wrong or things going wrong in the future ,that I am unable to enjoy myself in the here and now and I have difficulty with getting close to people because I know we'll just drift apart or break up one day.

Any practical advice please?

Answer 1

read or listen to on audio CD:

How To Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. Its great. trust me.

Answer 2

I'm sorry you feel that way, but you know what the world isn't this big bad place you built up in your head. There are many things to worry about in this world but I say what is the point. Of course you worry everybody does from time to time, I know.

Listen the best thing you can do is enjoy life here and now as you put it. When things get you down or worry you. Talk to a friend someone you can really trust. You will find that when a problem is discussed it becomes a lot smaller.

You say you know you will drift apart and break up with someone if you let them get close. That's not the case at all. How do you know what is going to happen in your life unless you try. Life is supposed to be lived, and by living you can't be thinking of the "what ifs" all the time, it will drive you mad for a start.

You only have one life and I say go out there and enjoy yourself and let people get close whether it be a partner or friend because think about it the only worst thing could happen is you do break up with someone, but so what it's all part of life and you will learn from your mistakes.

I would rather have a life where I am not worrying about things all the time and taking a bite at life than just being an empty existence because I was afraid to live.

Think about it. Good luck and I hope you start to feel better about yourself :-)

Answer 3

I'm getting treatment for depression at the moment and this is one of the problems I have that my psychotherapist has hi-lighted. I feel like most of my life has been one bad thing after another and that this is how it will always be. I worry all the time about my friends deciding that they hate me, my boyfriend leaving me, losing my job and people dying. I actually find myself planning for how I will deal with these things "when" they happen.

I am however learning to accept that this is not something that is real. You can't worry about tomorrow because it hasn't happened and therefore doesn't exist. I am also learning how to change the way that I think and feel about the future. It isn't easy but I know I will manage to get past this.

From what you have said it sounds as though how you are feeling is really affecting your life so it may be worth considering speaking to your GP and asking if counselling would be a sensible option for you or could they offer any other advice.

I hope you can get through this soon. Remember that it's not real.

Answer 4

I find these thoughts help a lot:
1. I may not be able to fix everything but I can do one thing today to make things better.
2. I know that things are never perfect and I will remember that I can live comfortably in a world that is not perfect.
3. I believe that I am right about things, but I will take some time today to think about things from another person's viewpoint.
4. I will consider getting psychological help if I find I am unable to live a happy life without it. I will also consider psychiatric medication if and when it is recommended and prescribed by a medical doctor I trust. I will always change doctors if I do not like the one I have or if she does not listen to me.
5. I will remember that friends are people too, and people sometimes fail. Like me, they are imperfect and I will not expect perfection.
6. I will try to think about realistic goals, and break them down into sub-goals that are achievable in a short time. I will keep a chart of realistic goals and watch my progress. If I start slipping I will call on myself to get back in the saddle and do just one thing that helps myself each day.
7. I will get enough sleep and try not to overeat. I will not abuse drugs or alcohol.
8. I will try to be a friendly person whenever possible.
9. I will rank my problems in order of highest prioriety down to lowest priority. I will remember everybody has problems.
10. I will remember that God does exist in some form and that there must be a purpose for this world and me in it.

Answer 5

I find that in most case people consume themselves with worry when spending a lot of time on their own, without a voice of reason to counter "your head " thought, things often spiral and even those silly worries that you know are inconsequential can become huge issues.

There are people that are going to offer you books to read etc but the issue is yours to deal with

If you are worrying about the future everyone will tell you not to worry and you cant forsee what is going to happen so smile and forget about it, but you know that you cant forget about it.

Try this and In the first instance it will sound negative but as you are stuck with negative thoughts it might help.

You could be run over by a bus tomorrow and if you were what would the future matter truth is it wouldnt, so try and counter your worries about things going wrong by making the future inconsequential. If you dont get hit by a bus tomorrow then you can deal with whatever happens then at the time

At no point in your life have you ever known what is going to happen in the future and you are never likely to therefore it doesnt matter

I go to bed each night thinking what I would spend my lottery winnings on, I know I am not going to win the lottery but I go to bed happy

As for relationships going wrong, I have had loads of relationships and I have enjoyed all or part of all of them. In todays world its is rare to find a partner for life and so enjoy and remember the time you have with people

Good Luck

Hope it goes well

Answer 6

Find someone, any one really, who you can talk to, and know will keep it a secret, and tell them what you are worried about. If you don't have someone like that, talk to your goldfish, or dog, or anything, because it helps to just say things, and get them out of your head.
You say you have difficulty getting close to people, but it is because you worry about what will happen. So what if you break up in the future? Enjoy being close to them now, and if you feel like there is something that might break you apart, tell them as soon as you can. As for drifting apart, keeping things together is hard work, but if you be yourself and don't drift away from them when they still want to be close to you, then you will worry much less.
I know it sounds silly, but just saying what you are worried about will help.

Answer 7

You sound like an ex-girlfriend of mine who left me. The first thing I would say if this is who you are, is that I can see that there is a lot to worry about in the future.

Is there anything to worry about at the present time?

So you have a concern. What can you do about it? If there is something you can do, do it. If there is nothing you can do, accept that it is outside of your control. Once you accept that there are things within your control, and things outside of your control, you will worry less about things outside of your control. There is nothing you can do about it!

Your specific example regarding not getting close to people because you'll leave, or just drift away. Yes it is true that you will leave or just drift away. Now can we stop worrying about it?

Answer 8

I hear you. You may not like my suggestion, but, it's working for me. Go ahead. Drift away. Isolate your self and hibernate until you find your own pace and your own vision. Every solid medical recommendation, though, related to excessive worry, angst, and depression, is to avoid breaking away from support groups, such as family and friends. And, there is wisdom in that, especially for women who have a stronger need for human contact and communication. The problem, though, is we get unhealthy in our minds and spirits oftentimes due to UN-healthy support. In other words, you might be off balance right now mostly due to unbalancing family and friends and work environment. Life does NOT have to be so hard, so full of worry. Whenever you feel this way . . .and we all do from time to time . . .especially those who possess higher levels of conceptual thought . . .(those who are aware enough to BE worried!), get away from everything for awhile. If possible, start all over somewhere new. Re-invent yourself by carefully selecting a new support group of POSITIVE, HOPEFUL, INTELLIGENT CARING souls. You'll be OK, hon. Kudos to you for having the kind of heart that cares.

Answer 9

Try healthy anxiety reducers like deep breathing, exercise, yoga or meditation. A hot bath is also a good idea, and a cup of herbal tea like Tension Tamer can do just what it says.

But what if your anxiety is sustained and acute? If you have the following symptoms and can’t shake them, you may want to see a professional: an inability to relax, a free-floating persistent sense of distress, difficulty concentrating, trouble sleeping and rapid heartbeat. And for these, a psychologist or psychiatrist might recommend medication.

Answer 10

A/ u could win the lotto, then a great many of your everyday worries would vanish.
B/ life is to short to worry about your future, if you consider the fact that you could go anytime, (heart attack, knocked down, stabbed by a mugger ( gettin to frequent now this stabbin malarky) any number of ways. just try to enjoy what you have, while you have it....To-day might be the day all your dreams come true.. say this to your self every morning..

Answer 11

the answer is to sleep. and MY motto(COPYRIGHTED PEOPLE :D ): "Milk Life, Every single drop counts" dont worry about the future, i use to be like u..but think about it: the world is drifting apart, BELIEVE in FATE. What happens to u is already set out by fate. humans are mortal, we will die one day...but do we want to know that we lived by worrying about the world? that we never saw life the way it was suppose to be? Stop worrying, ur already missing out on a great deal of awsum stuff! Milk Life!! Get every single drop!