Only child???

Question

Do any of you only have one child and that's all you plan to have? Do you regret your choice now and wish you had more children? I am curious because I have a 3 month old son and I really don't wish to have anymore. I love my son and adore being a mommy, I just feel like one child is best for me. Is that being selfish?

Answer 1

I don't feel you're being selfish, in fact I feel, You are being responsible. You obviously right now know you're limits and made a well thought out educated decision, How can anyone fault you for that decision. I do believe that you seek validation for your decision though or you would not be writing in this question which makes me wonder if you are having second thoughts about "down the road" or had some one recently judged you badly over your decision to stop at one. Either way No one knows your family and what it needs like YOU. Don't second guess yourself because you feel that you aren't following the "norm"........actually on the contrary a lot of people now days are only having one or two children unlike the generations before us when the normal family had three or more....I myself only have one, but it was not by choice, just the way life dealt me my cards. Yes you may change your mind down the road but if you're sure you only want one than who are we as society to judge you......Congrats on the new Baby!!!!

Answer 2

I don't think that's selfish at all. However, if he is only 3 months old - you may in deed change your mind a few years down the road. Right now - your hormones are still out of whack. Being a new mommy takes a lot of time, effort and energy. In a few years as he starts growing up a little and becomes a little more independent - you may decide that you want more. (There are 6 years between my first 2 - because I felt the same way)

Answer 3

That is not being selfish. But you should understand that you have only been a mother for three months and your feelings may change down the line. I have one child and we wanted to have one more but I have had some medical problems and so we postponed it. Now my son is ten years old and we are beginning to think that having another one now would be too much.

The thing is for me is that I always saw myself with two children. I don't really want my son to be an only child. But he would feel like an only child anyway because of the age difference if I were to have another one now.

You never know so never say never.

Answer 4

I think you are not being selfish just very thoughtful. There is nothing wrong with having only one child or having seven like I did. Each child is a very large commitment and you should never enter into that commitment unless you are fully prepared for it. Some people should not have any children and that is OK to. What is not OK is to have children because you feel pressured in to it by a need to conform to what you belive you "should do." Enjoy the one you have and he will be a lucky boy.

Answer 5

No you're not being selfish. You're choosing to give the one child that you have the best you can give him. Look, people that don't want kids shouldn't have them. People that only want a small family shouldn't have a large one. you only end up hurting your kids that way. What is best for you and your family is what you need to do. Why should anyone call you selfish for not having children you don't want? I think it should be the other way around... You're being selfish if you have a bunch of kids that you're not equipped or don't want to care for. I adore my kids and want more eventually, that's what's right for me. My sister also adores my kids and is choosing to be child free herself, that's what's right for her. If just one child is right for you then great! Give that child your best and to hell with anyone else (That said give it just a little time before you do anything drastic like get your tubes tied -- not saying you will but some people do change their minds.) Congratulations on your baby and on living your life the way you feel it's best.

Answer 6

That's not selfish at all. It's a rational decision that parents can make based on their own unique situation.

We have only 1 child, a boy who's now 16. With the cost of raising a child these days, both in time and money, we decided that one kid was best for us. It doesn't matter to us what other people think about it.

Answer 7

You are definitely not alone in this. I have a 10 month old daughter and she's all I'm planning on having. I don't believe it's selfish at all. Our kids will get the social interaction they need when they go to school (or even daycare if that is the case). I love my daughter more than life and also love being a mother, but don't believe I have it in me to have 2 or more kids. I think it's best for me and my daughter that I devote my time only to her.

Answer 8

That may work for you, it doesn't make you selfish. It's just a personal decision, like anything else. I have only one child now, but I would like to have more if I ever find the right kind of guy to get married to and do that with. But if I don't, at least I've already got my little girl, and I will be just as happy.

At least you've got the experience of being a mom now, just enjoy it especially if you think you may not do it again.

Answer 9

No that is not selfish at all
you new at being a mom and you want to make sure you do your best
give yourself a few years if you still fell the same way
than you have one child
for now you are thinking just like 70% of women that have giving birht to their first child

Answer 10

At this point in your life it is the right thing for you. If in years to come you decide to have more children, then that will be right for you at that time. So no you are not being selfish and just go ahead and love your son...