Not really found anyone with real humor these days on the internet
Ia there anyone with the funniest story ever bound to get me rolling on the floor?
2006-09-08 01:04:56 · 20 answers · asked by martin m 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I went to the zoo last weekend and when I arrived as all they had was a Dog.
It was a Shitzu........
2006-09-08 01:08:40 · answer #1 · answered by J h 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This may not make you rolling on the floor, but may make you smile:
Three men, one German, one Japanese and a Texan were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager, "he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The Texan felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Texan finally said "Well, will you look at that, I'm getting a fax."
2006-09-08 08:20:15 · answer #2 · answered by Electric 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A village is there some where named "BuddhuGram". People who live there are said to be all very stupid. The villagers were very tensed of this embarrassing fame. They decided to send a representative to tour other places so that they can find why people say so. The representative chosen was "Mannu" a villager. He went many places, countries but with little result. At the end of his tour he was in London and was to come back. One day a taxi driver came to know his problem and helped him. He said - "Look I'm going to ask you a very simple Q, and you will not be able answer. the question is- there are 3 members in my family. One my wife, second is my daughter. Who is the third one?" Mannu took one day for thinking but failed. He begged pls tell me the answer or I have to suicide. Taxi driver-"The third member is me!" Mannu is very pleased, returns to the village and calls a meeting. He has found the reason why people call them stupid. He asked the same question- "My friends, there are 3 members in my family, One my wife, Second is my daughter, who is the third one?" One hr gone, no one replied. Mannu answers with great confidence --- " the third one is the taxi driver in London!"
2006-09-08 08:28:51 · answer #3 · answered by arnab 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is a true story..one day I was bored and thinking of things I could possibly do. After awhile of looking at my little sister's pet gerible, I came up with a brilliant idea. I would ride it like an animal at the zoo. We were having awesome fun...but then I just fell to the floor...and I couldn't find the gerible. Then I felt something nibbling on the inside of my butt. My butt had eatin him alive. I had to tell my sister...and she cried for days because I killed her only friend.
2006-09-08 08:11:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Mickie and Minnie Mouse have just announced their sad news from Hollywood that they are to get divorced after 30 years of marriage, on asking for a comment Mickey said it was Minnies fault as she had a dental problem.....on further examination it was found she was fcuking Goofy :)
2006-09-08 09:07:09 · answer #5 · answered by Is Dave Curious?..... 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Got to love the Americans, if they had not funded the IRA for 30 years, we would not know how to fight terrorism. Good effort in playing the long game.
I love the Americans, they speak their mind - even when there is nothing in it they'll have a go.
2006-09-08 08:09:51 · answer #6 · answered by slug dance 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how to laugh?
englishmen ireshman and scottishman are following a rainbow, looking for gold.
rumour has it climb up one side and slide down the other, make a wish and landin a pot of anything you like.
englishman tried this,wishes for gold, lands inpot of gold
scottsman tries and wishes forsilver,lands in silver
irishmen slips.......holy $hit!
he never gotrid ofthe smell
2006-09-08 13:49:27 · answer #7 · answered by moggymad5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2006-09-08 08:07:21 · answer #8 · answered by qwerty 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror, complaining to my
husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling
me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Puzzled but willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and
stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
"How long will this take?" I ask.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," he replies.
I stop. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my
breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your bum, didn't it?"
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.
Stupid, stupid man
2006-09-08 08:06:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
No sorry,but the first answer really cracked me up!Although i do have an idea for you,try watching a Billy Connolly dvd - never fails.
2006-09-08 08:20:40 · answer #10 · answered by willow 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋