Is it over? Should it be?

Question

This is such a dumb question because I should know the answer but I don't want it to be true. I left my husband for another single man. A man who has a history of dating many women. They call him regularly. If I so much as look at anyone or go anywhere or do anything out of context Im the one whose bad. I've been good to this man. He's been good to my family and to my child. We talked of having a child together and getting married. I thought it was what I wanted. Now we're fighting for the past two days (not having sex by the way). Im also having added stress at work (a demotion) which isn't helping in my life. I wore this chain around my neck (the mother/daughter chain I got for mothers day from my daughter and ex husband). Last night he ripped it off my neck and said it wasn't fair I was wearing it. If he is hurting so much so why can't he talk rather than yell or throw a temper tantrum? Im almost sure I can't marry this man nor can I have children but I dont want to move out either.

My daughter just started school in this area so we could be together. My daughter and my family think he's great. My ex husband thinks he's using me as "flavor of the month". I've been living with this man for over 6 months now. He now says he doesn't want me to move out tonight but if I move its because I want to. Deep down I think if I don't the fights will continue and he will continue doing what he does (harass) until I do move out. Folks? Any thoughts? I love this man but I have no way to prove how much I love him and that he is the only one. I just don't buy into the fact that I am his only one.

Yes. he likes my child. No Im not shameless. This is a man who practically chased me down while I was married always coming over, etc. The guy is shameless to say the least. I still love him because of all the things we have in common but needless to say I dont believe for a second he is right with me. He's just saying Im not being right with him to justify what he's doing. Wouldn't I be correct in that? I am a good girl. Always have been. Never have cheated in my life. I just feel bad over the fight we had but Im afraid he wants out because he keeps asking me over and over - are you seeing someone else? blah blah... he never stops. and my answer is always the same = no Im not. (which is true). I hate to leave. I've been happy there. On valium a lot yes but I've been happy to see my daughter so happy.

He stole my cell phone this morning and started checking it all over. Found old pictures that existed when I was with my ex husband. Ones I forgot to delete unfortunately. Now he says I'm really
"not right with him".

Answer 1

You deserve EVERYTHING you're getting. You left your husband for a player. Hmmmmm??? He rips a necklace off of your neck & you ask about Him hurting???? How about you??? Sounds like you're beyond help.

Answer 2

Trust is one of the main things you need in a relationship from what you have wrote i guess you do not trust him it won't work not while you don't trust him. I think you want to leave him but are frightened of being on your own but honey being on your own with your daughter will be wayyyy more secure for her then her living in a home where the two of you are shouting and screaming at each other on a daily basis. I think you have already accepted it is over you just need to be brave and take those final steps and walk away.

i also think him ripping your chain that was a gift from your daughter is despicable

Answer 3

Wow, I'm not envious of your situation (no one would be). Something was definitely missing in your olde relationship that caused to run into the arms of this new guy, but he seems so insecure. That's not a good thing in any relationship, young or olde.

I would take a break of this relationship until he can get his head clear. It sounds like you have your head clear enough, at least about what you want to do (spend you life w/this new guy). He needs to come to grips with how much he likes you, etc.

Answer 4

Wow, this is tricky as i bet you main concern is your childs happiness! you are worth so much more than this and although you walked away from a marriage doesnt mean you should stay in an unhealthy relationship, you child will be happy as long as you are. I think maybe you should go away to a friend or relative for a week and reflect on whats been going on, distance is great for clearing the mind and spirit..you may not miss him as much as you thought! be kind to yourself and have a break, although ive no child i was in a similar situation with my ex. good luck x

Answer 5

Move out! for everyone's sake...u know what, yo ex hubby is right. the man u living with is not serious coz at this point in life he ought to be settled down.
God gave women an inner strength a man cannot conquer, courage to see the sun through a storm. Use that strength n courage. move out before u lose everything. Concentrate on your job and daughter.

Answer 6

love ur spouse as ur self but not more than u love ur self.
Last night he ripped off ur necklace, next time he might ripe life out of u. I think it should be over.

Marriage is for beter or worse, don't marry someone u'r not sure of his fidelity, there are a couple of STDs out there u don't want to catch and aids too. Having a history of divorces too isn't good especially with ur daughter around.

Answer 7

If you can't marry this man, or have children with him - why are you staying with him?
It doesn't sound like he's the kind of guy you can trust, and you're letting your child grow up around this guy.

Sounds like you already know that you have to move out for your own sake.

Answer 8

It is over. Within 6 months if you both are fighting so much, it is definitely over. He also doesn't respect the fact that your chain was given by your child on Mother's day. Doesn't he like your child?

Answer 9

What goes around comes around.You are only fooling yourself.Get out!

Answer 10

go with your heart and what you feel is the right road to take. Try to talk to him and evaluate your relationship or go to counseling.