Just started dating a guy from my circle of friends. He told me that he had dated a few people in the group but refused to tell me who - "its irrelevant to us". I wasn't happy about him not telling me because these are people with whom I associate & I hated the idea of chatting with a woman he had been intimate with.
A few weeks back of course it happened. Plus she (not knowing he & I were an item) told me what a bastard he was etc. I was pissed off at the time because we had actually discussed this woman and he didnt tell me anything about the relationship. I felt he had lied by omission. Her comments also made me doubt he was the person I thought I knew.
So now some other woman has alluded to something too; I dont know if its just friendly or there is more to it & am feeling really insecure. I am so honest with him & I want the same, not just about this. It makes me wonder what else he doesnt tell me.
Am I being unreasonable? Are my worries unfounded? Im in my 30s.
2006-09-07 23:14:33 · 17 answers · asked by monicag12 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can understand him not wanting to discuss it, for 2 very good reasons:
1) what is past is past and nothing that he can do say or wish will alter it
2) Since you are all part of a group of friends then you may find it difficult to relate to them if you know there was a past. Plus he may not want to "bad mouth" your or his friends simply because a relationship went sour!
As long as he is being open and honest about everything else, then I wouldn't worry about it.
2006-09-07 23:35:04 · answer #1 · answered by break 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of there and find yourself someone decent! He sounds like a player to me, in fact I think hes my ex! lol, If a man makes you insecure, whats the point? Are relationships not all about trust and security? I'd take this as an alarm bell and kick him to the curb girl while your just dating and before he gets too far under your skin!
2006-09-07 23:28:04 · answer #2 · answered by Is Dave Curious?..... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds complex. Anyway, why don't you voice out your thoughts and insecurities to this guy? I don't think you're being unreasonable. Don't worry about it. Maybe you could step back a little in the relationship. I mean, you're just dating him. Give yourself more space and time to observe.
Take care. =)
2006-09-07 23:21:05 · answer #3 · answered by gummy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get into conversing about whoever I'm with,it shuts down those outside forces trying to mess with happy people. He sounds like he is covering something. You and him need to talk it ALL uot. What someone else(friends) tell you is not always the truth,nomatter how much you trust them. Make your own opinion and act on it.
2006-09-07 23:24:53 · answer #4 · answered by want2wild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing unreasonable about your behavior.
As for your guy, I would have been weary of him ever since he refused to talk about his past. Any guy not wanting to talk about past relationships is usually ashamed of something. (Trust me, I'm a guy, I speak from experience). In this case, you might have found out what he's ashamed about through your friend.
2006-09-07 23:25:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wel i think u deserve sum1 more nice n ur type.I guess this guy not bein open to u is tryin to cover his faults tht s it nuthin more than tht.So u knw wht i mean i guess but if u stil think u cant leave him then tlk to him n tel him hw much u care abt him n ur feelins towards him.I hope it'll work out sweety.Now its time to say Gud Luck i guess?????
2006-09-07 23:28:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not being unreasonable. Don't push it or fight about it, just calmly tell him you need to know so you don't go around making a social **** of yourself. If he won't tell you after that then he's definately hiding something and these girls are probably right about him being a d*ck. : )
2006-09-07 23:18:09 · answer #7 · answered by T M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
back away gracefully
before this even gets started
after all you are in a circle of
heartache if you allow this to happen
and it is not as if he is the only one
do what you want but be able to
drop it like it's hot if any drama
starts happening
2006-09-07 23:20:21 · answer #8 · answered by Queen A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is making you feel insecure, imagine if hes been "intimate" with all these women u talk to all the time... talk to him and ask him to tell you who hes been with and if he doesnt tell you, i think you should leave him, hes making you look stupid...
2006-09-07 23:18:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him he is not to be trusted,never trust a man if he keeps things like this from you what else is he actually lying about? also why has he not told all your circle of friends you are a couple?
2006-09-07 23:19:08 · answer #10 · answered by Hitcher In The Picture 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋