my son takes money without permission, stealing?? not big amount but maybe it is just a start, he is 10 y.o.?

Question

my son takes money without permission, stealing?? not big amount but maybe it is just a start, he is 10 y.o. Pls advise what i shall do.

Answer 1

if that happened to me,( and i have a 16 yr old and hasn't stolen from me to this day) i would play the psychology game.
take something that he cares about from his room, and when he notices just say "i don't know, someone must have stolen it. believe me he won't like the feeling of being stolen from. sometimes they have to FEEL in order to realize how they make other people feel.
or tell him to get a paper round and earn his own money. he will appreciate what it takes to actually earn money!

"you naught boy" isn't going to work
just thought of another. you could always make out that you don't have enough money to (say) buy bread or milk and that you were sure you had money left over, and be upset and actually go looking for the money in your bedside table or something, stressing out even! if he loves you he won't want you to be upset
sometimes you have to play them at their own game. they're not stupid at 10 and it will go onto bigger things if you don't stop it now.

or.....don't leave your purse around! won't solve the problem though

Answer 2

All these people are crazy! Stealing is not the issue, the issue here is why is he taking the money in the first place? Does he have something that he is trying to save up for, but thinks that the only way he will ever get it is to take some dollars here and there? Does he have any way of making money for him self (allowance, chores for money, grades for money, etc...) Or is he just taking the money so he can buy snacks at school from the vending machine? Ask him if he has enough money for lunch, if he says yes, ask him if he has money for snacks too. Maybe he just wants to buy a couple of sodas or something extra. Point being, try to discover why he is taking the money. He may not want to come out and say he needs money for something like flowers for a girl he likes, (if this is the answer, then you need to find out in an indirect approach, such as, are you starting to like girls? then from there do more detective work). Then after you get more information, try to boost his lunch money or something so that he doesn't have to steal from you. If after that he still is taking money, then you know you have a problem with him stealing, and then you can deal with it accordingly.

good luck

Answer 3

Ten-year-olds are at an age where they start doing this sort of thing, some of them, and can't stop. It has to do with stages of development, and parental support during that time.

Do not let him get away with stealing or lying. Unfortunately, always be on guard for it till he gets out of this stage. Right now he is testing to see what he can or cannot get away with, how well he can fool adults, etc. Show him you are "supreme being" in the household with "eyes in the back of your head" and that you cannot be fooled, even when he fools you! Seriously, act like you know the whole time what he is doing and you were only waiting for him to come forward, or that you knew he was up to something, but weren't sure what, if he puts one past you.

Teach him he must respect people to be a good adult later on in life, and that means not sneaking or taking others' things.

Answer 4

Do not let him get a way with this. Punish him for taking money and then make him work it off. Offer ways that he can earn the money. Put your purse up where he can't reach it and teach him that it is very wrong to take things that don't belong to him. You think he's just 10 years old, but that's when bad behavior starts and can be stopped. Do not let him run over you, take advantage of you, or control you by saying he's only 10. Get hold of this situation now, it's not to late to start teaching him right from wrong.

Answer 5

yes it is stealing. tell him if he wants something, he has to ask you. if you say no, he has to be a man and learn about rejection. if he steals again, you will punish him by keeping him in the house, taking away t.v. time (or letting him watch t.v. for 2 hours instead of 6), his games, talking on the phone, and LET him do chores (help with the laundry, sweeping, cleaning the bathroom is a good one). NOW he should know what consequences are when you disobey your parents and authority. ALSO tell him if he ever steal from others, he will GO to JAIL and you can even send him away yourself such as military school and boot camp. Oh don't forget that a criminal record could destroy your life such as not being able to get a job or getting financial aid for college.

Answer 6

First, find out exactly what he is doing with the money. If it is for legal, innocent stuff like candy, comic books, etc. then it is a good time to teach him the "value of a dollar". Make him earn his "extras".

If it is for "not so innocent" spending, get him help immediately! Whether it is counseling or "scared straight", get him help. It is also time to create a hiding place for your valuables and cash or get a safe. If he is stealing from you, then he will end up stealing from someone else. And whom ever else he steals from may not be lenient on him. Nip it in the butt before he ends up in juvey!

Answer 7

Is he taking it from your wallet? Or is it money he finds under the sofa cushions?

Loose change on the floor is fair game, but if he is taking it out of your wallet, it is definitely stealing. I'm sure he has been doing this for quite some time and you have probably just now caught on.

Make a point of it now because it will only get worse if you don't.

Good luck

Answer 8

Yes he is stealing. He is taking something of yours without your consent, so it is stealing. You need to tell him that stealing is a very bad habit, because it leads to many problems later (such as shoplifting) and the consequences are also very bad. Explain what happens if he continued to steal and what could happen to him. You could even take him to a county jail to show him where criminals and thieves go when they are caught.

Also, if he wants money, tell him that he should try to earn his money. Having him do chores to earn a little money would help his moral values as well as teach him in the long run the importance of earning things himself.

Answer 9

Trap him. 'Tis the age to steal little bits and spend them on slurpees.

Take coins and put a tiny dab of nail polish on each one and write your initials on your bills with a marker. Then leave the money where you usually do and watch for when he heads outside - he will be heading for the store. IF the money is gone, search him, and if the money is marked, ground him for a week and during that week make him work, work, and work around the house to pay you back in sweat for what he stole.

Then work out an allowance plan with him, after he has done his time! Good luck :-)

Answer 10

it is the action rather than the amount you ought to be concerned about

my brother started stealing when he was a preschooler and instead of doing anything about it my mother would laugh it off

however when he was a teenager and still stealing - by now accompanied by lying as he was now a very experienced thief and had learnt that he could twist our mother around his little finger (and the disrespect he had for all women that came with that)

please don't ignore what your son is doing - nip it in the bud before he progresses to bigger things