Wedding Invitation?

Question

Must be the season... The invitation to my partner (of 5 years) daughters wedding arrived today there were actually (2) in the envelope. In her handwriting they were addressed to "Joe Blogs and partner" and "Joe Blogs and Friend". I am very hurt and not quiet sure how to approach my partner about this, he has his daughter on such a high pedistal you almost need a ladder. I was reading a previous question on if this was rude or not, not only do I think it is rude it is very hurtful. Maybe she is trying to tell me something

Answer 1

"And Guest" and "And Friend" are horrible rude and tacky for someone in a LTR. To not address you personally is an insult and highly against etiquette ESPECIALLY since they obviously know you.


I'd be tempted to send them two cards (no gift), same envelope. One to Mr. John Smith and the other to Mr. John Smith's Friend.

Talking about this with your BF will be touchy and probably pointless. There's nothing that he can do at this point to appease your feelings and it may create an even larger fight. I dont know that he'd even understand why it's offensive. If you do talk to him about it, do so in a calm and controlled manner and decide beforehand what you hope to gain by having the discussion.

Good luck to you!

Answer 2

Well maybe she would appreciate you more if you were also married. Maybe she thinks you are trying to take her moms place or come between her and dad! You said he spoils her and maybe things have changed some since you showed up. She could be jealous. I would just thank her for the invitation and ignore the rub. You will feel better and she will not get the satisfaction of upsetting you. Her dad will not be put in the middle which will give you points from him and he will see how his daughter is acting. The whole thing will go away quicker. You must be the mature adult and not make waves at her wedding or beforehand.Your partner will appreciate it and his ex-wife if she is around will also apprecaite the stressfree atmosphere and no problems with the wedding. Some will just be looking to see how you take it! Take it like a grand lady! Be the better one in this situation! Best wishes!

Answer 3

Since you say your partner has his daughter on such a high pedestal, you may not get anywhere asking him about the situation. I am not sure why the daughter would do this. You are obviously hurt, so I would suggest you ask the daughter directly. Maybe she had an intention that was innocent and she did not mean to hurt you. Maybe she is a mean person. You won't know what she was trying to say until you ask her. After you know what she meant, then you can talk with your partner about your hurt feelings. Whether he sees that his daughter hurt you or not, he will still not want you to feel bad. Good Luck!

Answer 4

When addressing the envelopes for my sister's wedding we didn't write everyone's names on them. We simply put Mr. & Mrs. (Last Name) for the married couples and Mr. (Last name) and Guest for the people that aren't married. Unless you have had problems in the past and this isn't the first time something has come up, I wouldn't read into it to much. I wonder if she was just following protocol. Now, I'm not saying that is definitely right, but just thinking maybe that could be what happened. I hope in your case it is. Sorry your feelings were hurt. I wouldn't say anything until after the wedding though b/c she is probably really stressed right now and you don't want anything that might go wrong to be blamed on you.
Best wishes!

Answer 5

if she has something to say then she should SAY it otherwise yes it is in poor taste that your name is not on the invite. I had the same thing happen to me. Blah blah and guest?? what??
on the other hand it might not be her fault maybe she doesn't know any better-- up until now I havn't even received a thank you note. Like you said she is on a pedistal. don't let your feelings get in the way --You are great and He should hand write the respone and state that you (your name first and he can't wait till the big day.) She proboaly won't even notice. Just be the most gracious guest mingle and get to know everyone. and when it comes to the her Less is More.

Answer 6

Addressing wedding invitations is a very long, stressful thing to do. So for someone to take time out and send two invitations calling you "partner" and "friend" is pretty strange to me. Sounds like she's being an unhappy little freakin bridezilla and we both know that misery loves company. Don't fall for it !

If you haven't already responded, send the response card (if you can) with YOUR PROPER NAME as well as Your man's proper name and that's it. Don't say anything else about it. And by all means...don't say anything to her dad b/c you might end up being more upset. Why? Because men don't care about stuff like that...at all !! They don't understand the importance of proper etiquette nor do they want to take time out to understand.

Play it cool. Go to her little wedding and have a good time. By all means DO NOT let her think that her little foolishness got under your skin.

P.S. Good Luck !!

Answer 7

It isn't like she doesn't know your name. You have a name and she knows it. If she could not bring herself to writing "Joe Blogs and Jane Smith", she is being hostile- but perhaps it's no surprise to you. Your partner should kindly yet firmly assert to his daughter his expectations about how he wants her to treat you and address you. It is never acceptable to write "and guest"- I can only understand it when the bride has no clue as to which date a man is bringing. You should feel insulted but more importantly, your partner should be indignant about this and do something now to set her straight on expectations. I talk from experience as the 5-year partner of a wonderful man who finally cut off his own sister from his life, because she did not acknowledge me as his partner. I hope this helps.

Answer 8

Sorry Mitzymoo still trying to come to terms with my own hurt over the same sort of issue. Good luck to the both of us. The one thing I do know is that there are far worst things in this world that could bestow us. Lets be grateful that we are well enough to attend such an event.

Answer 9

I would first have to ask yourself, Do you and your partners daughter get along? Perhaps she has a different understanding of her relationship with her. When the opportunity allows itself have a one to one with her and let her know how you are feeling. Personally I was in a similar situation where my fathers girlfriend of some years expected me to treat her as if she was my mom and what not. That did not work for me. I only considered this lady my fathers girlfriend/partner. I only respected her because my father was with her. Good Luck with your situation.

Answer 10

Very touchy subject. If you can't go to your guy then go to his duaghter. If shes old enoughto get married shes old enough to explain why whe adressed you so impersonally. Dont be surprised if there is an expalnation. Just give her a call and nicely ask why she didn't adress you by name. Her response will tell you all you need to know about how she feels about you. And by teh way there is no need to get along with her to have a good relationship with her dad