What does it mean for a wife to be submissive to her husband?

Question

Ladies this one is for you!!!

Should wives submit to their husbands? If so, what does it mean to you? If you're married and a Christian, are you a submissive wife?

Also, is it wrong for a woman to be the leader of a local church?

Answer 1

This means that, in a Christian marriage, the man should be the head of the household. It doesn't mean the woman is a doormat, a common misconception! Marriage is a partnership and God made Eve to be Adam's helpmate. It isn't a subservient or inferior position, it's merely giving the final decision, should there be one, to the man. A ideal Christian marriage must be just about heaven on earth; two people who love Jesus Christ and respect each other. Unfortunately, no, I haven't had the pleasure of this experience!

Personally, no I don't believe a woman should be the leader of a church, since the bible says a woman should not have authority over a man...and I believe this means in a church setting.

Answer 2

This for Guywiththehir... Like most you pull what you think is the meaning of the passage. read 1 cor 14:33 "For God is not the author of confusion, But of peace." and then 14:36. Paul then shows where the confusion is verse 34, 35. He is in fact admonishing the Church for having done that. He is chiding a prophets here in verse 36. "What? came the word of God out from you? Or it came to you only?" Because the people were wrong. And yes wives are to submit to their husbands. But, then he places a caveat. Husbands, LOVE your wives! Yes they can be leaders of Churches

Answer 3

The word submit seems to have a negative connotation behind it. Probably because of how it's used in our culture today. It's taken more as a loss to some kind of game than the way it was portrayed in the Bible. In the biblical sense it is healthy for a wife to submit to her husband. This would mean to trust and respect him. In turn he is to love you as Christ loves the church (which he died for out of love). Think about it, what do men crave the most from people....respect. What do women crave more than anything....love. God created man and woman very differently, but the way he lays out an ideal marriage is an illustration of how we would each love to be treated. Yes, wives should submit to their husbands-out of love and respect. Just as a husband should love his wife as Christ loved the church. (which is VERY much.)

I don't think a woman is not capable of leading a local church. I do believe this position would be easier for a man, simply by looking at the way a man is made. Why do you think men are so good at focusing in on one thing at a time and doing everything in their power to solve all exsisting problems? Sounds like business to me. After fights who usually gets over it first, a man or a woman? Which is better capable of putting their feelings aside and not taking everything so personally? If you ask me(which you have) I would say that God was simply suggesting that each sex do what they're best at. To respond negativly to a female leader, however, is uncalled for. If she wants to do it, support her. A woman is capable of more than you could imagine when she has supportive, loving people behind her.

Answer 4

I think it's a good arrangement for marriage, but too many times we forget the other side of it, "husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church". Does it have to be that way? Back in that culture and time, it probably did. Today's culture and times? I'd say things need to be agreed upon, premarital counseling can help with that.

No, it's not wrong IMHO for a woman to be the leader of a local church. Again, the zeitgeist of biblical times has changed somewhat over 2000 years.

Answer 5

Two separate issues here!

First of all, I do try to be submissive to my husband. That does NOT mean that I'm a good little wifey who just grovels for my husband. Instead it means that I realize we need a President and VP in our house. Both cannot be in charge. But I do get a say in what goes on. It's just that if we are on opposite sides of a situation, I will talk to him about the situation and if he's insistent, I will give in, but he realizes that he is the one to take the responsibility for the decision in that case.

For me, when I tried to run the household it caused a lot of problems in our marriage. When I let him run things, there is a lot more peace in the house. It also has helped our relationship because he's not being criticized all the time (one of those issues that erodes a man's self-confidence).

On the second issue, in relation to whether a woman can be a leader of a local church, I know that many churches will not accept women as pastors or even on the church board. But I think about what Jesus taught in the Bible. There is a case where Jesus healed a blind man on the Sabbath, and the Pharisees were outraged because Jesus broke the Sabbath. Jesus turned to them and used the analogy about whether any of them would pull their animal out of a stream if it were an emergency. What that scripture showed me was that Jesus looks at the intentions behind the rules rather than following the rules for the sake of the rules. I use this analogy in the case of a woman who is a minister. For a person to be a minister, they must be called of God, and if God truly is calling that woman to be a minister, no man should say the woman cannot be a minister just because of her gender.

Long explanation I know, but hope this clarifies it.

P.S. In response to Guywiththehir who goes back to teh "Let the women keep silence in the churches." he needs to remember that in Biblical times, women were on one side of the curtain and the men were on the other side. The women were shouting out in the services to ask their husbands questions. The scripture is also talking about keeping order in the service. To have a women or man yelling out over any preacher or speaker is just plain rude. Paul wrote this in a time period when women were not allowed to even be educated to read and write, so how could they become a BIblical scholar?

Answer 6

Yes, you can read quotes from Paul about women. But Paul was a product of his time, and he said plenty of stuff about cultural and societal norms, that really have nothing to do with the "Good News." Jesus broke all kinds of religious rules and practices because he placed human relationships above the "law."
As far as women being leaders in the local church, if we believe God calls us all to use our gifts and abilities, then we have to believe that that means everyone.
As for submission, if a husband is beating his wife, or even putting her down all the time, I don't think submission is part of what God would desire for her as a child of God.
I think it's interesting that people only quote Paul as an authority on this issue. They conveniently overlook that he commends Phoebe as a "deacon" which in early translations was actually elder, Paul identified Priscilla as an apostle, and commended several women for their work in various churches.

Answer 7

The best pastor I ever had was a woman! She left because of all the stupid political head games the "adults" played. I have refused to go to church since, except for wedding and funerals. And as far as being submissive, get real! the only way a partnership works is by being equals.

Answer 8

I believe wives should submit to their husbands. Let me tell you what this means to me. As a wife, I should rely on my husband to be the leader of our home. It means that I should treat my husband with respect and honor. As his wife, I look to him for protection. He loves and nurtures me. He cares for my needs. Submitting to him requires a great deal of trust on my part. We do make decisions together, and I trust, support, and respect him in carrying out those decisions. Knowing that God is the head of our home and that my husband has an intimate and fruitful relationship with God makes being a trusting and respectful or submissive wife easy. I know that when I have trouble being submissive, I can give any problem, fear, or disagreement to God, and the Holy Spirit will work in our lives to change either my husband or me.
Now I'd like to answer your next question. If you're married and a Christian, are you a submissive wife? My first reaction was to tell you that it's none of your business. Our marriage relationship is between the 2 of us and God. However, on second thought, I decided an open answer would be more beneficial. Honestly, I struggle with being a submissive Christian wife. I am not perfect and my husband is not either. My husband makes mistakes in our relationship, and it's not easy to trust him when at times I don't feel nurtured, loved, protected, and valued. When he procrastinates or side-steps or ignores an issue, I want to take charge and do things the way I think they ought to be done. When I don't see him spending time with God--reading his Bible, or praying--I have a harder time trusting, respecting, and honoring him. That leads into my answer to your last question. Is it wrong for a woman to be the leader of a local church? No, it is not wrong in the sense of being sinful; however, I don't think it is what God intends. When men will not live up to their responsibilities, God uses women and gives them the capabilities and talents to fulfill his purpose. I can think of an example from the Bible when God used a woman in place of a man. Do you know the story of Barak in Judges 4? He did not fulfill his responsibilities in doing what the Lord commanded. As a result, God used a woman named Jael to accomplish His purpose. When our men shy away, hem and haw, or sit back doing nothing, someone else has to step into the leadership role.
What can we do about this problem? Pray for our men that they will stand strong in God's word and that they will be strong leaders. Pray for Christian wives that they will respect, honor, encourage, and support their husbands. And when God does use a woman, pray for her to be the leader she needs to be.

Answer 9

Well i think it is ok to be submissive to him but not like most men think! he is not supposed to make you do things that are out of your status or anything degrading to yourself! the Man is the head of the house and i come next! husband are supposed to love their wives as Christ Loved the church! It kinda goes both ways. 1 Corinthians 7:3 -"The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intamcy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband." Thats one aspect of marriage! But I'm not married though! Thats what i also got from my parents' marriage! My mom told me all of this before my father passed. You have to let ask your husband if you can fast, because of the sheer fact that most of the time you can't have sex while you fast! you just can't walk in and tell him your gonna do it! As far as Females as leaders of a church it's fine as long as she does right in the community and the people in the church! She has to say the right things to the people because she would be responsible for them! But that goes the same for a Male pastor!

Answer 10

As you can tell by my Avatar, I'm not a girl, but a very good friend of mine is a woman who believes that wives should submit to their husbands, and here is an excerpt from something she wrote:

BEGIN QUOTE---
"The wife is to be submissive to her husband in all things, unless he asks her to sin against God in some way. Asking her to stop attending church, or not to teach the children about Jesus are examples of requests or demands that she cannot submit to. However, even in this, she is to decline with respect and love, not giving a harsh answer, nagging, or causing more strife with her actions or words. If he refuses to respond after a time, she can continue to take the next steps of church discipline (seeking a counselor, in this case etc.) until he repents. A wife is also to respect her husband at all times, never slandering him, even if it’s “joking.”

If her husband is an unbeliever, she can still submit to him. In fact, a wife is called in 1 Peter 3 to live with “chaste and respectful behavior” so that the unsaved husband may be “won without a word by the behavior of their wives.” She cannot reprove him as she would a saved husband, but she can love him, respect him, and in so doing perhaps “heap coals upon his head.”

The Lord Jesus is to be her motivation for submissiveness. She should be encouraged by other women and by the Bible, that submissiveness to her husband pleases the Lord. This should not be a “cross to bear,” but rather, be a joyful experience as she knows that she is in the will of God."
---END QUOTE

I don't expect those who are not Christians to except this; if you are a Christian though, and don't agree with it, look at Ephesians 5. As for the asker of this question, let me just give you a few of my own words.

Remember that these are the instructions for the WIFE! Are you the wife? Ephesians 5 has a quite seperate set of instruction for you, and they don't include crushing your wife's will. Just as she is to respect her husband, whether or not he loves her, you are supposed to love your wife, whether or not she respects you. If you commit yourself to that, she will eventually respect you. When she asks you about the change in you, tell her you've been reading Ephesians 5, and let the Lord take it from there.

P.S.-- On the issue of women in leadership, look at 1 Timothy 11-12, "...I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man...".