> Quickie #1
> One day, Jay Dini came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a
>very sexy nightie.
> "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
> So he tied her up and went fishing.
> Quickie #2
>
> A woman came home, screeching! her car into the driveway, and ran
>into the house.
> She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,
>pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
> The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or
>mountain stuff?"
> "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
>
> Quickie #3
>
> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and
>the other is a husband.
>
> Quickie #4
>
> A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
> First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
> The optician showed him a card with the letters:
> 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
> "Can you read this?" the optician asked.
> "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
>
> Quickie #5
>
> Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I
>must tell you all
> something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
> "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
>chardonnay."
>
> Quickie #6
>
> A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
>Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
> "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
>You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We
>need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're
>going to STICK!
> Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when
>you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST
>your mind?
> Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.
>Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"
> The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You
>think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
> The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like
>when I'm driving."
>
> Quickie #7
>
> Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North
> Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
> On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
> That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
> On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
> That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
> On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
> The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years
2006-09-07 17:45:43 · 9 answers · asked by basscatcher 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
LOL. Good ones. LOL.
Have a great day!
2006-09-08 22:25:16 · answer #1 · answered by jfmm 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL OMG!! soo funny and cute!
BTW, Quickie #3 is true! I am always right! All women are right, all the time. Thats why we rule the world!
2006-09-07 17:57:25 · answer #2 · answered by *SaL* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG LMAO..I Love Quickie #6..Thats So Fu*K*in Funnyyyyyyyy..
2006-09-07 17:59:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Got some good yuks! Now if I can only remember them...
2006-09-07 17:55:05 · answer #4 · answered by taboobiker73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha
thanks
i needed a good laugh
those were all really cute
2006-09-07 17:49:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
^_^ really an effort
thanks a lot
LOL makes me laugh
2006-09-07 18:39:07 · answer #6 · answered by ettezzil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was really good..it put a smile on my face..good job
2006-09-07 17:56:50 · answer #7 · answered by LoVeLy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thx ...might share this with my friends...funny jokes..thx!
2006-09-07 18:37:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
2006-09-07 19:08:05 · answer #9 · answered by yasmin k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋