I was recently married, and it seems like my parents have pulled away from me emotionally somewhat. They approved of the marriage and love their new son-in-law very much. I just want them to know they're still so very important to me. What did you feel when your child was married? How can a newly married young adult show her folks that she wants them in her life?
2006-09-07 16:21:44 · 7 answers · asked by mtnlady 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Probably parents don't know exactly how to respond to a married child, particularly if you are the first child to marry. It is a new experience for them, and they may be feeling a bit awkward.
When our daughters married, especially the first one, we felt a bit sad, and lonely. We were losing our little girls. We didn't know if they would still need us. They were going to have a different family - and they do have different families now - we have grandchildren. But it is just different, not bad. It took some getting used to. Your parents will adjust.
Make a point of specially Inviting them to your house for meals. Ask their advice on a few day to day things. Include them in some decisions where it is appropriate. Don't wait for them to call you - call them. Visit them for no particular reason - just to see them.
No matter where you go or what you do, you will still be their little girl, and they will still be mom and dad.
2006-09-07 16:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I had this same problem. It's getting better..we've been married a year now. I felt at first that they pretty much married me off and then stopped worrying about me. Now I see that it was somewhat in my head. I still talk to my mom almost everyday on the phone. In reality if they did distance themselves from me, it was for my own good. My mom loves my husband so much she takes his side, during any little spat (if I ask for her opinion...otherwise she keeps her mouth closed :) My dad takes my husbands side....but doesn't actually come out and say it. They know you want them in your life. They are probably just giving you some time to adjust, even if you have been together for a while (my husband and I were together off and on for 6 years) Marriage is a whole new ball game...because you have to compromise. You can't just break up for a while. That's the only sucky thing I've found.Sorry this was so long. I'm not even a parent of a married child. Just my opinion.
2006-09-07 16:58:06 · answer #2 · answered by Cortney & Nathan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know its really hard to know what to do as a parent. I'm very happy for my daughter and I love my new son in law totally. They just moved out two weeks ago after having to live with me for 8 months and I really miss them being here. Frankly we didn't really do anything together, we were just here in the house together some of the time.
I want them to have their privacy, I want them to be dependent on each other and not me. However we have always been really really close as a family, and it would be very weird for us to not talk every day.
I imagine your folks just don't know what to do are are struggling to find a middle ground. How bout you set the pace? Invite them over for dinner. Email or call every day or every other day with a short hi how are you, I'm fine, anything new, ok talk to you later on. We do not have long or involved conversations, we just touch base. It makes us all feel connected but not joined at the hip.
Basically, you do the approaching and make it simple. After a while they will get used to the pattern and reciprocate.
If worse comes to worse, simply tell them what you said above. Good luck, it will be ok.
2006-09-07 16:32:39 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need some time to get used to your new life. It is possible that your parents didn't really pull away from you but you feel it that way because of physical separation etc. Just take it easy and visit them when you can.
2006-09-07 16:29:07 · answer #4 · answered by kevinrtx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you think of that's not undemanding being in a blended faith relationship, merely wait until you're a unmarried, uneducated mom! you do no longer even start to comprehend no longer undemanding yet. you're legally an grownup and your mothers and dads won't be able to end you from marrying this guy. i think of which you're too youthful to be getting married, yet I additionally think of you're too youthful to be a unmarried mom. For the toddler's sake and that of the two you and your better half, i might marry him as quickly as attainable, even against your determine's desires. they gets over it, if no longer in the previous, then while the toddler is born--a grandchild is a superb element and not many human beings can face as much as a new child new child it incredibly is a ingredient of their bloodline--and you the two do comprehend that contained in the Jewish faith your new child is definitely no longer seen a attainable "chosen" one as that's the mummy that determines this, and you're no longer Jewish? of course, this did no longer count on your better half for the period of the years which you have been mutually, besides the indisputable fact that it ought to become area of your issues as the two considered one of you become older. faith specifically cases does that to a relationship. good success.
2016-09-30 11:09:49 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are wrong they still love you but they love their son in law too and it is just new for you because you used to have all the love with out any partners
2006-09-07 16:27:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST TELL THEM. MAYBE THEY ARE JUST TRYING TO GIVE YOU BOTH SOME TIME TO ADJUST TO YOUR MARRIAGE.
2006-09-07 16:26:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋