Do you want to hear some clean Bible jokes? please let me know what you think! Hope you enjoy!?

Question

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
>A. Ruthless.
>
>Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
>A. German Shepherds.
>
>Q. Who was the greatest Financier in the Bible?
>A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone
>else was in liquidation.
>
>Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the
>Bible?
>A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of
>the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
>
>Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
>A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a
>Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
>Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were
>all in one Accord.
>
>Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
>A. Samson. He brought the house down.
>
>Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to
>why he no longer lived in Eden ?
>A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
>
>Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant
>lawbreaker in the Bible?
>A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
>
>Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
>A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always
>overflowing.
>
>Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the
>Bible?
>A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
>
>Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
>A. Joshua, son of Nun.
>
>Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
>A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
>(Groannn...)
>
>PS... Did you know it's wrong for a woman to make
>coffee?
>Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . . "Hebrews"

Answer 1

Thank you for the jokes.. they cheered me up.
I'm sick right now & when I'm sick, I feel down... the jokes made me feel better.
I'm still smiling.

Answer 2

I loved them, there great.
Here's one for you, hope you like it.


>>In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States , and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but! things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a
decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.

They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark. "

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it.

Answer 3

Great Idea we needed some lightness in here. But you stole one of my favorites about Noah. Think I'll give it a try.

Answer 4

OK... I'm going to copy these and send them to some people in email!... I'm not going to give you credit for them though! *GriN*

Answer 5

i liked the car jokes very clever

Answer 6

I enjoyed them - keep them coming

Answer 7

corney and cheezy but made me laugh so they are good.

Answer 8

lol, some of those were pretty funny

Answer 9

made me smile

Answer 10

theyre ok lol