Little adult rhymes?

Question

Mary had a little pig
she kept it fat and plastered
and when the price of pork went up
she shot the little bastard.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have a little fun
stupid Jill forgot the pill
and now they have a son.

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead
now it goes to school with her
between two hunks of bread.

A friend emailed my rhymes.
I like the ones all of you posted their funny.

Answer 1

old mother hubbard went to her cupboard
to get her poor dog a bone
but when she bent over
rover took over
and he had a bone of his own

Answer 2

Mary had a little lamb,
a little pork,
a little ham,
an ice-cream-soda topped with fizz,
and oh! how fat our Mary is!

Pease porridge hot
Pease porridge cold
Pease porridge in the pot
Nine days old
So come on down to the school cafeteria
And have some nine-day old green bacteria!

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jumped over the candlestick
Jack jumped high
But the flames jumped higher
And he came down
With his pants on fire.
He'll never walk again
Except on cratches
so don't YOU play
With candle and matches!

There was a young lady from Exeter
So pretty, that men craned their necks at her.
One went so far
As to wave, from his car,
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her!

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Little adult rhymes?
Mary had a little pig
she kept it fat and plastered
and when the price of pork went up
she shot the little bastard.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have a little fun
stupid Jill forgot the pill
and now they have a son.

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead
now it goes to...

Answer 4

Mary had a little lamb,
It's name was Barley Pete.
It became a great big ram,
And knocked her off her feet!

Jack and Jill went to swim
In the pool of water.
The water, it was too cold,
And Jack, he was too bold,
And Jill; he never caught her!

Ole king Cole was a merry old soul,
And so was his wife, the Queen.
They danced to the pipes,
And clapped to the songs,
As tipsy as could be!

Answer 5

Mary had a little lamb
Johnny had a pup
Frankie had a lion that
ate the others up

Answer 6

Jack and jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water

God knows what they did up there
They came back with a daughter.

this one's quite old.

Answer 7

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
jack fell down and broke his crown
and Jill can down with a buck fifty.

Answer 8

mary, mary quite contrary, how does your gvarden grow?
with silver bells and cockle shells and one big stinking onion.

little miss muffet sat on a tuffet, ating her curds and whey.
along came a spider and sat down beside her and said, "hey, what's in the bowl, toots?"

Answer 9

mary had a little lamb
she took it to a wedding
she tied it to a lamp post
and kicked its f'ing head in

are soles are soles are soldiers marched to war
with pis with pis with pistols by there side
for king for king for king and queen and alll
fight for the ole c'unt fight for the ole c'unt fight for the ole country
(a short word play)

there was a girl called sarah brown
who swore no man could sex her down
over the hill came pis pot pete
with ninety pounds of swinging meat
laid that girl down on the grass
shooved his penis up her ***
she let out a mighty fart
ripped his penis right apart
then over the hill came pis pot pete
with ninety pounds of shredded meat

Answer 10

Some men go to college.

But we think there all wussies.

Cause all they get is knowledge.

And we get all the _______