Who pays for dinner?

Question

The guy I'm seeing is meeting my parents tomorrow night and we're planning to go out to dinner. We're having a bit of a predicament trying to figure out who pays for what.

My dude is in his thirties, well-established, has a great career and a house and vehicles and all that jazz. I'm in my early twenties, single mom.

My parents don't mind paying, but don't want to offer to do that because they think they'll be establishing a pattern of picking up the tab every time. I could pay, but I think that would look funny and/or awkward, though I have no objections. And we don't at all want to assume my guy will step it up and offer to get dinner - we don't want him to pick up the entire tab either.

What's the procedure on this? We're lost!

Thanks for all the answers. I paid for the whole thing because my parents ended up taking my son to their hotel with them for the night so I could have a rare kid-less night out, so I paid to thank them.

Answer 1

Here are a couple of choices.
#1 If it was either your idea or that of your parents that you go out for dinner, then it would be polite for one of you to offer to pay. If you and your guy came up with the idea (i.e. going out rather then having them over for dinner), then I think that he should pick up the tab. If he is well-established and all that, picking up the tab will make a good impression on your folks, whom he should be trying to impress.
#2 You can offer to split the check when the check comes. If your parents offer to pick up the tab, offer to pitch in (bring some cash). This will seem considerate to all.

Answer 2

Don't expect your BF to foot the entire bill. The dinner is for your parents who are visiting which makes you and your BF the hosts for the dinner. Talk to your BF about it and try to estimate how much do you think you'll both spend for dinner and share it 50-50. But to make it look better, give him your half in advance so by the time you pick up the tab, your parent would think he paid for it whole. If he objects to paying even at 50% for it cuz they're your parents, tell him to take a flying leap off the empire state building.

Answer 3

A gentleman should pick up the tab. If he seems he's not making a reach for the bill, you mention chipping in. If he's embarressed and says he'll pay, he's a keeper. If he's avoiding it, he's either broke or cheap. There is a difference. If you know for a fact he isn't broke, dump the loser he's a loafer and a leach. Offer to pay the tip if you're feeling guilty.

Answer 4

Why don't you and your guy split the bill? It would be like he was paying for you and you were paying for your parents, or you were paying for your mom and he pays for your dad, or however you want to see it. Better figure it out now than be awkward about it at the restaurant. At least with your guy paying for you, he won't feel funny with you or your parents picking up the tab. Also, you don't want him to feel pressured with having to pick up the full bill.

Answer 5

Proper edicate dictates that whoever makes the reservation at the restaurant or whoever makes the invite is responsible for the tab. All others at the table are "guests".

In terms of chivalry, your boy friend should pick up the tab to prove he has the financial where with all to take care of your parents pride and joy (that would be you).

Answer 6

Your guy should pay.
I can image your parents would 'try' to pay first. But deep in their heart, they kinda expect him to 'fight' for the bill AT LEAST.
If your guy won't do anything even pretending, I can say he has already left a bad impression on them.

Your guy is around 30s and has a good career. Sure he can afford a dinner ..especaily for the special somone's (you) special ones (ur parents). hehe

Also, if your parents let him to pay. That's a VERY GOOD sign. That's mostly mean they like him. =)

Answer 7

In this particular case...I must say "He should flip the bill out of common courtesy". This is a FIRST IMPRESSION moment and should be taken seriously if you two are getting serious. It is always nice to take the appropriate step the first time than try to make up for over and over again later. Your parents might not mind paying, only cause they want to see who their daughter is dating and yes...check him out. They might not say it to your face, only cause they love you and want you to be happy. First impressions do matter when it come to the matter of heart and family. He may not feel that way and yet he may...he needs to rethink this one if he really wants to have a golden apple sitting on his desk.

Answer 8

Well you could go Dutch.

Who made the invitation? If your parents did, it is logical that they should pay. This does not mean that they would have to pay every time.

If you made the invitation, then logically you should pay. If he helps you out, or takes over the obligation, then he is a great guy.

Answer 9

Just talk about it when the bill comes if your parents grab it, offer to pay the tip or something. Maybe they can pay for them and you and your man can pay for the two of you and then both your parents and you guys can split the tip.

Answer 10

okay the best thing for a meet and greet would be for the guy to pick up all but i think a dutch situation would be better if your that worried. the men pay for their ladies. then if you want to settle up with your guy afterward thats fine but that seems to me to be the best recourse. me personally i would grab the whole check unless your father said something but i would broach it early in the meal. like when menus are out say something like get what ever you would like dinner is on me tonight.