I just think this is pathetic. we have dated about 5 years. she doesnt feel this issue deserves a conversation. should i get out while i can ?
2006-09-07 15:57:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sorry guys, i should have been more specific. Okay - She fooled around with this DJ Before we started going out. she did not cheated on me with him. she has never consulted me or try to find out if i was okay with it. it just bothers the hell lot.
2006-09-07 17:43:50 · update #1
Um...what does hiring a dj have to do with your fiance fooling around during her prom nite? I don't think she's the one being pathetic...why are you harping on it...you've been together five years...did she fool around on you? If so, then that would make so much more sense.
***So ok, after reading your more specific info, I'd say...don't hire the DJ if you don't want him there...which is understandable, given their past history. It's not right for her to just go ahead and hire him anyway without consulting you. She doesn't have to talk to you about her past time, but if you let her know that you don't feel comfortable with him at your wedding, she should try and understand.
You don't need to call off the wedding cause of it...but you should have a talk with her about hiring that DJ.
2006-09-07 16:54:41 · answer #1 · answered by Jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm friends with two guys I dated before I met my husband. I've been married 26 years and I've never even thought about cheating.... there's a good reason those guys are exes but there are also reasons we've remained friends. Luckily, my husband is strong and smart enough to understand that they are no threat to him. He still has a female friend from highschool we see about once a month but she and I have become such close friends, I always forget she knew him first.
Your fiance likely doesn't think the issue deserves a conversation because the guy means nothing to her except for the fact that he's a good DJ... there might also be a tiny bit of "just look at what you didn't get and my wonderful fiance did" going on. She loves YOU.. she's marrying YOU so stop being so insecure and bask in that love :)
2006-09-08 01:06:51 · answer #2 · answered by Canadian_mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She fooled around with the DJ on her prom night; the same one she wants to hire for your wedding??? Well, unless she was with you at the time, you shouldn't call off the wedding. You can hold someone's past against them. What you have done in your past, good or bad, shapes the person you are today. I agree that I wouldn't want that person on my wedding day!!! Tell her that you completely disagree and feel that is inappropriate and if she refuses to comply then you both have some compromising to do and will have to do lots more do in order to maintain a successful marriage. Also, if you have a problem with anything, it is your spouses job to be there for you to listen and have conversations about whatever is bothering you, whether if it deserves merit or not. She doesn't have to agree with you on any of it, but you should always leave the communication lines open, good luck!
2006-09-07 23:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by wtrmlnqueen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look girls are different then guys, we can remain friends after a relationship, If u guys have been together for 5 years, I don't see where the promblem is. Remember that she is marrying u, he's just a guest, that is making a little extra cash, maybe he has a family to that needs to be fed. The main ? is if U can deal with him being the dj on ur wedding night and not bring it up after that. If u can't then maybe u 2 shouldn't be married after all. Cause is marriage about trust and honor?
2006-09-07 23:04:19 · answer #4 · answered by fraggle4411 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she fool around with the DJ during the prom? Is that what you're saying? If so it would be really inappropriate to hire him for your wedding.
2006-09-08 00:02:26 · answer #5 · answered by beachgirlkandy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously look at why you are so threatened. This is something that happened over 5 years ago. However, I do think if it bothers you, then you need to hire someone else. If he's giving her a break, and it will cost more than he would have, then you need to pay the extra.
Seriously, if you are ready to bail out because she wants to hire someone that she "fooled around with" when she was a teenager, then you are not marriage material.
2006-09-07 23:06:51 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame ya! I believe at weddings there should not be any exes or flings at the wedding even if it is hired help. There are a million DJ's t choose from. Get a new dj.
2006-09-11 11:01:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what your saying, Your fiance' cheated on you but when how long ago was prom night? five years ago? or what ? I think once a cheater always a cheater. I would say get out. especially if she doesn't want you to talk about it. If it bothers you it deserves a conversation. good luck
2006-09-07 23:04:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd love to answer,but you're being vague....who fooled around? And what does that have to do w/getting a DJ?
2006-09-07 22:59:58 · answer #9 · answered by *Juicy Princess* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah,but first ask why she wants to invite this guy.It is better to end an engagement that a marriage end in divorce.She is one of those women who will cheat,lie,and steal.
2006-09-08 00:43:45 · answer #10 · answered by movin12006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋