Do you ever get over bad parent (s) ?

Question

Have you recovered yet?

Answer 1

ive never goten over my old man being abusive, except for the fact I dont beat my kids or wife. It hurts when I see a dad hold his son in his arms, give em a hug, play with them, or see them say they love them,. My old man resented me and abused me greatly.

Answer 2

I'll never fully recover from my fathers alcoholism and verbal abuse.
Some of the things I have witnessed and heard him say have scarred me emotionally for a lifetime. Although I will never fully recover from the emotional pain, I take his bad parenting and stupid decisions to heart with me and realize they made me a stronger person.
I learned to be independent at an early age.. after all I couldn't depend on my father. My mother was shifty; sometimes she would give into alcoholism, other times she was sober. I couldn't really trust either of them so I learned to trust myself.
Bad parents aren't always the worst thing in the world because they made me realize what I won't allow myself or my future husband to be (alcoholic) and what I will practice with my children. Through the pain that I have endured I know that I can only pass down the knowledge I have gained and be happy that it has taught me something along the way.

Answer 3

Yes you can recover and you can be a better parent because you know what the alternative is. You have started the process of healing by admitting that they messed up. Now the second step is to not feel guilty for blaming them and the third is to proceed in your life in a healthy, positive way. (yes you may have to cut them out of your life if they are still playing head games with you)

Answer 4

You don't recover from something like that; however, it is a great learning experience on what not to do while parenting. I have a feeling I'm going to be a great dad. The funniest part is, the only one I can thank for it is my dad (odd, right?)

Answer 5

Personally my dad was not the best in the world and I recovered from it and I made sure that I did not raise my kids the way he raised me. Worked out fine.

Answer 6

To be honest I haven't. I only have one mom and I've tried to do right by her and it doesn't seem to help much. Right now I don't call her anymore I let her call me. It's kind of a role reversal I want her to see what it feels like when someone you love treats you like you don't exist. By the way she didn't even call me on my birthday. She called me the next day and said, " So how was your birthday?". She did that to be a *itch. So now I will give her what she gave me on her birthday. Karma's a*itch aint it. I love my mom very much but it's time she got a dose of her own medicine because she's treated me like sh** for way too long. I love her but I got to do what I go to do. Now she'll know how I felt after all these years of her bs. I'll be free once and for all. By the way I have two boys and she could care less to come visit them. She's not tha for it'll only take her 25 minutes toget tomy hous on foot. It's like this to her I'm not worthy to be her daughter because I'm nothing like her. That will never change.

Answer 7

I have had many issues with my parents. I spent years in therapy to get past the issues with them, but I would say this to you. They (he/she) would have done better if he/she could but they didn't know how. Be grateful for the person you are today and try to look at the positive quality that your parent(s) had. Could they have been that bad?

I think you can grow beyond bad parenting and be kind to yourself. Nuture the child within.

Answer 8

Well, I noticed as I got older I realized alot of things my mom did wrong or that I disagreed with. Because I grew up thinking she was perfect and now I know better. Sometimes it bugs me but you have to realize that no one is perfect, just because someone is your parent doesn't turn them into a perfect being. Be thankful for the great things they did for you.

Answer 9

I guess it depends on the level of how bad your parent (s) were? If they did atrocious acts to you that would deem you to cut them out of your life...do it and don't look back. You are better off. Just because two people created a child doesn't mean they know how to raise one. I don't buy into that entire philosophy "You have to love them because they are your parents" because you had no choice in the matter but you have a choice whether or not to continue to let them have access to you if it is in your best interest for them NOT to. At one point in your life you have to say "Look...my parents messed up but right now, today, I am responsible for ME and I can't blame them for my life TODAY that part is my doing and I will move forward on my own course and not the one they started me on." It takes a LONG time to recover.

With my parents...they messed up alot and unfortunately I was around to witness and be a part of it. They didn't provide any kind of stability and their was emotional abuse but their intentions were NEVER bad and I always was told, felt and knew inside that they loved me unconditionally. I think alot of times when people become parents they don't have knowledge of themselves and their lives aren't in order enough to be the best parents. As children we expect a parent to protect us and guide us...but at the same time your parent IS human and they make mistakes. Unfortunately they are making these mistakes and not taking into account they have children who are being effected.

Becoming a parent is a HUGE responsibility many people don't fully understand when they set out to be a parent and it forces you to put your child's well-being and best interest AHEAD of your own and your own issues that you are having. Alot of parents don't do that (not out of hate or maliciousness but not having insight on how this will effect their children down the road).

If this is the case and your parents love you and never intentionally caused you harm or trauma...forgive them for not being perfect and take it as a HUGE lesson on how NOT to raise your children. If you look at the BIG picture...you are generally only under your parent's "care" for 18 years...the rest of your life is YOURS to make it right and to set yourself on the course you want to go. You make your decisions now...not them.

Good luck!

Answer 10

my mom left my dad me and my brother and sister for a man when I was 14. She didn't even tell us she was leaving she just left and we found out a few days later what was going on. I haven't "gotten over it," but I do still talk to her. I love her, but I do still think about what she did once in a while and I get upset about it
I do forgive her though.
They say, "forgive but don't forget"