Do you raise your kids,the same way you were raised?If not why?

Question

What about punishing?Spanking etc....

Answer 1

i would never raise my children the way i was raised....we grew up with alot of abuse (mental,physical and sexual) no child deserves that. my parents aren't even allowed to see my children.

Answer 2

Excellent question, and I have to say yes and no. I teach him right from wrong, responsibility, chores etc. that I learned growing up The no part: I don't punish him for things that happen that he has no control over, ie, bed wetting. I remember when I was very young, age 5, 6, 7 whatever, if me or one of my brothers or sisters wet the bed we had to write "I will not wet the bed" like 50 times. Well guess what that did....you got it... reinforced the bed wetting habit. I had this habit well into my teens. No lie. To this day, I still harbor some resentment at my parents for that particular punishment and have NEVER used it on my son. Once in a blue moon he will wet the bed and when he sees it he is embarrassed and says, am I am trouble? I say no, but let's get these sheets off and get some clean ones on and get you in the shower. I never make another mention of it to him. I think my parents should have been more understanding, more patient and not made it a big deal.

Answer 3

My parents were immigrants from Europe after WWII, and had no money, and lost everything after the war.

We were never hungry, because they worked all day/night to make sure the kids were fed, clothed, and had a roof over our heads.

We were happy.

Now-a-days, the kids have too much, they don't know how to do anything for themselves like laundry, mowing the lawn, getting a small part-time job for gas money,etc.

I hope I am raising my kids to be responsible adults, with respect for themselves and others.

Unfortunately, both of my teen kids have long-term diseases that are painful. My son has missed his whole sophomore year and my daughter had 3 painful surgeries.

They are doing the best that they can, and hopefully become the responsible adults that are pain-free, so that they can work or go to college.

Answer 4

Nope, I was raised by a manic depressive mother and a violent alcoholic father, I still have physical scars, nerve and muscle damage to my face as well as a broken nose. It is not necessary to hit children, if you set down the rules from day one. You do not hand out everything they want just because they say "I want". Television, computer, video games, electronic toys, piano lessons, dance lessons, etc should be considered privileges and EARNED by the child. The child earns these privileges by their behavior. My daughter never had a t.v. in her room, never had a stereo, never had a computer in her room until she was old enough to work and pay for them herself. When she behaved she got an hour of television time every day/evening during the week, and not more than 6 hours on the weekends. We had a family computer that was in the family room and when she EARNED time to be on it she was able to be on it, if she needed to use it for school work she was able to use it ONLY for that purpose without earning time. Up until she was 16 years old I supervised her computer time, meaning I was right there seeing everything she did while on line. Consequently she is now 20 years old I've never had to spank her or hardly had to raise my voice to her...she knew the rules and knew that compliance won her what she wanted, non-compliance got her nothing.

Answer 5

I dont have kids... but I will say this. When I do... I know what my parents did... and did not do right. I'm not one of those bitter people that gets upset with their parents for their poor choices, but rather I'm just cognitive of what my failures are now, and how they MIGHT have been avoided earlier in my life.

Things I will make sure to do
1. Reinforce a more cognitive process. Being aware of what you are doing, and why you are doing it, is as important as knowing right from wrong. Simply teaching a child not to yell at someone, will only teach them to refrain from doing it until they lose control. Helping a child understand why they are losing control will help them keep it from happening.

2. Begin my child's education early. I was a gifted child according to my teachers, but what they didn't see was how much my parents were teaching me everyday. Thngs were constantly being taught...and it didn't matter what it was... from how to dig a hole for a fence post, to how a plane flies (I'm now a pilot for recreational purposes). What they developed in me is the desire to learn how things function, and to want to know more. I probably know more random tidbits than any person I know. Watch out Ken Jennings... I will beat your record (Jeopardy)

3. Groundings... and "time outs" are worthless unless you make the environment unpleasant. If you ground a child to their room, and they have a TV, a computer, toys, video game... then... wow...I'm sure they are just gonna be as miserable as their video games permit them to be... whats that? you dont have the most current football game? thats their punishment? OH NO! Seriously folks... learn to ground your kids more effectively.

4. I will encourage my kids to play sports. I wont force them, but there will be rewards for participating in any and all extra curricular activities. Looking back on Highschool, I can say I had a very nice experience... even though I switched schools midway through. I dont think many kids could have dealt with that as easily. Sports allowed me to make new friends, develope a tight circle of friends that I could trust, and taught me how to be competitive in an appropriate way. It also taught me how to lose... and not throw a tantrum :D

Answer 6

you can try if you feel that you turned out ok. I tried with the can't be out after dark homework done before you can go anywhere choose their friends etc. Guess what does not work. But I for one never remember my parents telling me goodnight with the hug and the peck on the cheek and the I love you every night. Till this day they are all adults and when we talk on the phone last words will be I love you and if they call at night same goodnight and like tonight before my daughter went home the hugs kiss on the cheek and I love you means a great deal.

Answer 7

I don't raise my kids the way my mother raised me because she used to belt me with a wooden rod until I had welts on my legs. She had me petrified and it paved the way for me to be bullied at school because she was a bully. I was an extremely miserable child and I don't want my kids to grow up feeling like that. I do find myself sometimes saying things she used to say and I get pretty darn frustrated at them sometimes but I hope they will never feel the way I did. Parents like mine should never have had children or had the children removed from them.

Answer 8

pretty much the same way i was raised. The only difference is i try to be a bit more strict my parents were not strict or schedule following people. I never even had chores my kids do.

Answer 9

Depends how you were raised. If you were rasied badley an had a poor child hood. Dont raise your kids that way. Raise them in a way so there happy. An your not to Strict. Trust your kids. An leave it to yourself on how [[you]] wanna raise your kids.

Answer 10

Yep! My parents did a great job raising my sister and I. They were strict parents but fair. I am doing the same thing with my kids.

Answer 11

I would not raise my children the way my parent's raised me. I thought they were over bearing parent's, not letting me go anywhere myself. I think some things that your parents have said will reflect on how you talk to your kids.