I dont spend a lot a time with my family, because it just isnt in my life right now. But they have been checking up way too often these days. And i decide to share a little of my new life with them. But That turns into this avalanche of 'advice'. Its more like they are forcing me to do these things. But i know I wont because that isnt how I do things. They keep talking and talking and know nothing about my life and things in my new background. But they think they still have grounds to tell me exactly what to do. I know they are just trying to help. But it isnt stopping. I think this is the last time I'm sharing something specific about my life with them. How can I stop them this time? i just want to put the issue aside and pretend I didnt even talk to them. It was no where in their grounds to say these things to me. I have my independent life now and they are trying push themselves in to 'help me".
2006-09-07 13:00:25 · 11 answers · asked by fromnowandend 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Its stressing me out because they are always there and I know I can do it myself. I could tell them honestly. But then they will dissect me on ‘why I feel that way’. Its so stupid. I’m just not going to talk to them about this stuff.
2006-09-07 13:01:06 · update #1
Thanks Dr.Steve
2006-09-07 13:04:23 · update #2
I just love these complicated ridiculously-long, meandering, single-sentence questions that no one can possibly answer! How the hell can we offer any kind of reasonably good response when we have no idea about the situation?
Thank god there is a character limit, or we have to read even more of this pathetic tale.
2006-09-07 13:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by drsteve362005 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you don't say how old you are and give any specific information. But it just sounds to me like your family cares and you feel you want more space.
If you have been pushing them aside completely, as soon as you open the door a little, they see that as a good sign and want to get back in your life.
You can't keep them out of your life, it isn't right and some day you will want them in your life, and I hate to tell you, you can't always get what you want.
You don't sound like there was abuse or big fights so what is your problem?
2006-09-07 20:08:35 · answer #2 · answered by starting over 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, when I was in high school I hated spending time with my family. I neglected my siblings and my parents. When I left for college. I would not call at all. My family would call. me After a semester of school my mother and father got a divorce and my mother moved away. I pretty much had to come home to raise my siblings. This was extremely hard for me to do, but after being home I realized what I had missed out on. Do not let the same thing happen to you. To this day I wonder if I had been there more if my parents maybe would have stayed together. A family needs every member in order to function.
2006-09-07 20:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by Surfer guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you live on our own you should not have this problem.
Be happy someone cares enough about you to offer advice. you do not have to take their advice. I have a friend who grew up an orphan I bet she would change places with you in a minute. Stop sharing thing you don't want them to comment about. If you truly want them to leave you alone change your phone number and have it unlisted, move away and never contact them again. You can also send them a letter stating that you hate them and don't want anything to do with them any more. You have to do your part also. When you are hurt don't call looking for sympathy. If you run low on money don't call looking for help. When you get married make sure they know they are not invited. Just go on with your life.
2006-09-07 20:06:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were myself I would sit down with them and tell them that i appreciate the help but I'd rather do things for myself, to show them that I can be an independent and responsible person. And that I want them to be proud of my accomplishments and my goals. and if I would need their help I would make sure to ask them. And i would tell them that I understand that it is hard to let go, but i need them to let me live my life, because if they don't then they are not giving me that chance to prove myself, and just because I do things different than them doesn't mean that I don't know what I'm doing. And that i don't want to be right, I just want to be happy. I would tell them that I love them very much and that if I woud ever need a support system they are #1 on my list.
2006-09-07 20:45:14 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok lets see. i have a brother that is doing the same thing as you are. i am on the other side. i see how this affects my mother and it is not good. he is a drunk and a druggy and he has to blame his life on others. (thats common) but he has a child whom my mother does not get to see. i grew up in the same house as he and i don't understand his anger. my childhood was a good expeience. my advise to you is do not by any means cut your family out of your life. if you get sick they are the only ones that will care for you. maybe communicate your feelings with them or turn the other cheak. it works. good luck and i hope you choose the best.
2006-09-07 20:09:34 · answer #6 · answered by nakita 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, HMM>>> i dont want to go the harsh route, but sometimes thats all one can do.. just ignor them.. stop calling them.. and if they call dont answer.. later on when you do decide to speak with them.. let them know that just needed some time to yourself and you didnt want to pick up.. or just be blund and honest and let them know that you dont appreciate them jumping into your business they way they are..
.. anyway.. all in all.. i hope the best for you.. and if you dont mind me asking.. how far do you live from "family" and how old are you??
2006-09-07 20:08:12 · answer #7 · answered by Rich 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditto
2006-09-07 20:06:37 · answer #8 · answered by Ironball 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you said a lot of nothing here. Any specifics?
2006-09-07 20:24:44 · answer #9 · answered by Diana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speak little, listen much. Knowledge is power. Dont give it away.
2006-09-07 20:18:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋