Should I leave home?

Question

I will be 18 in a couple of months and I am sick of fighting with my parents and want to leave. My boyfriend wants me to go live with him, but I think it might be a mistake. I also don't have a lot of money.

Answer 1

Dear "move or no move?"

I know that you think your parents are pestering you. You are so young and have so much to offer society by studying to be a doctor or scientist. Your only going to be 18. Look at the world as your canvas and you the painter. If you stay in school, you will master the canvas, not the other way around.

What worked for me was....I would never talk back to my parents. Yes they yelled at me, yes they were always right. But I never raised my voice. I would sit and listen...play a tune in my head and bared the brunt of their arguments. It kept my dignity intact, and the respect I still have for my parents is there. They would give me the world if I had only asked for it.

Don't move in with your boyfriend. If you even have one doubt about your relationship, it's a bad idea to move in with him. You know there are some really good advice on here about college, dorm, apartment. But if you don't have alot of money and no job...I would stick it with the folks for a while longer.

What you can do is, get a job after highschool. Or if your not in school anymore, go by the rules honey. It's really not the end of the world if you listen to your folks. One day, you will have children if you are ever blessed. But let it be on your own terms. With your life resolved, career, house, economy....your life is your own to do as you please. It's sooo hard to move out in the heat of the moment. Your parents only care. That's their only fault. They care for you and only want the very best. Unless it's an abusive situation where you find yourself. If so, I hope all the best that you can provide for yourself. No one should have to endure a violent home.

Stay in school, study. Make yourself prepared for this world chic. It's ugly, cold, cruel and most of the times, unforgiving. Unlike your parents. Don't teach yourself harsh lessons in your life if you aren't ready for them.

Good luck baby girl...

Answer 2

You want to run away from home because you and your parents are butting heads. You will be 18, which means there will be no law preventing you. You don't have a lot of money, but you do have a boyfriend.

Parents nightmare, my daughter does not have the skills to take care of herself (or at least she has not demonstrated these skills while living here). She wants to move in with her boyfriend... ( chances are she will be pregnant within a year) Her boyfriend will not be up to the challenge and she will move back home with a baby and I will never be able to get rid of her.

Most marriages end in divorce. It is a statistical fact. Most women would like to have children at some point in their life. It is only logical that woman would make plans of getting a job that could support herself and a baby in the event that she is unfortunate to have married a loser. It is much easier to get the training for one of these jobs if you don't have rent, grocery money, etc to pay on top of tuition and education.

I'm sure that you parents would love to see you happy moved out and taking care of yourself. My guess is that the friction happens because they do not believe you have the skills or the maturity to make it happen.

Work out a game plan that allows you to take care of yourself in the long term and I think everyone will be happy.

Answer 3

Find the root of the fighting with your parents. Many people cannot accept the blame on themselves but look honestly at why you all are always fighting and you might surprise yourself and decide to change it for the betterment of all concerned.
Out of all the families I have spoken with in the past 4 years of pastoral discussions, the parents were really only at fault 2 times out of 250. The children were only at fault 79 out of the 250, that leaves 169 families that were both at fault. All needed counseling.
I wish I had listened to an older person when I was 17 and was having problems with my folks, if I had only seen that the problems were of my making and it was due to my own selfish desires, I would still have a relationship with my folks instead of having gone 30 years and not talking to them as much as I should and could have.

Answer 4

IMPRESSIVE! You articulate your situation with clarity and maturity. Well done.
a) Trust your intuition with the boyfriend. You are you and own the right to make that decision. By the way, studies indicate the chances of a couple splitting up are a whopping 50% higher if they have/are living together.
b) Hard cut with the parents. I think you might want to try a milestone discussion/negotiation with them. "We've been this. Now we are moving into.... I'd like to live here >>>>> yrs/mo. What would be a reasonable rent/responsibility/restrictions from both of our views?" Clergy/counselors can facilitate this.
c) Remember to hold yourself as a person of responsibility, value and integrity. That is where adulthood really begins.

Answer 5

Ask yourself this if you move out and run out of money who are you going to run to YOUR PARENTS for money most do so instead of leaving do something for yourself like college prove to your parents you can do it on your own Dont move in with a guy to get away it will never work out try to talk to your parents about how you feel you maybe shocked some parents just want so much for there kids to be happy and not have it hard in life they do love you remember that and one day you will go through the same thing with your kids and You will say OMG! I sound like my parents lol

Answer 6

Get your parents to pay for college.

Moving in with your BF is the sure way to POVERTY. If you hate your parents more than you hate being poor for your whole life then leave.....

Being poor really sucks and there is no better way for a girl to end up poor in the long run than to move in with their BF at 18. You think it's bad now, in 5 years you could be unemployed on welfare with 2 kids.

Do not fall into the trap of thinking you will beat the odds. The odds say you will be poor unless you put your career/education dreams FIRST.

Answer 7

even if u and your honey stay together and get married one day. don't move in with him! you will never really gain an idea of who you are as a person.

stick it out with your parents. go to school, get a part-time job, save up.

i think a person should move on their own before having roommate or moving with a guy ( which i don't do . . .that's another story), but if your parents are true as*-wipes, then get an apartment with a close female friend. make sure you can pay rent, and your share of the utilities. think about your car note, and insurance . . because if you leave home . . .it's all on you . . .and insurance is high as a giraff's pus*y.

for now, bite your tongue and stay focused.

good luck!

Answer 8

Are the fights petty or serious? Petty ones are so easy to get over just think about what is right. You should so not go to your boyfriends house till you know he is serious and know he won't do anything stupid. If you can't put up with your parents than go to a friends house to get away for a little while. Just remember your going away from your parents soon after school anyway.

Answer 9

Moving in with your boyfriend would be a very bad mistake. If you do then you'll be totally dependent on him. Just l,like your parents. Go to college if you can and take care of you. I had another that was a giant pain , so I joined the Navy and made my own life away from her. Don't do anything foolish, your life is to precious to mess it up with your b/f that will probably cheat on you but you'll be stuck. Good luck.

Answer 10

Honey, if you have ANY doubts about your relationship with your boyfriend, do not move in with him. Even though it may be very hard, I think you should stay at home until you have the means to support yourself. Don't rely on anybody else to do it for you. If you do it on your own, there is a sense of real accomplishment, so just hang in there and everything will be OK. Good luck and God Bless!