Ok, there's this guy that lives in NY (I live in FL) we are crazy about eachother, I met him 3 years ago when he was visiting my cousin. I've been to NY 3 times to visit him since, and it seems like we're meant for eachother. We've never spent more than a week straight together though. All my family except for my mom and sister live in NY. We want to be together, he says he will "Never ever move to Florida" he hates it here. I don't want to live in NY, I grew up there, but Florida is my home now. He keeps asking me to consider moving. Should I even be entertaining the thought of moving across the country just to be with him, when who knows if it will work out? If it didn't work, I'd have my family to fall back on, but what 25 year old really wants to move in with Grandma? Is there anyone out there who has made a drastic change for a significant other and had it blow up in there face? Or it be the best thing in the world? Please give me some advice :)
2006-09-07 12:57:03 · 4 answers · asked by chrystallec 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why would you move for a guy that won't even CONSIDER moving for you? I know I wouldn't. If he doesn't have enough courtesy to even discuss the moving options (like him moving instead of you), I wouldn't move for him. Think about what you would be leaving... a family, a job, friends. Can you find a job in NY? Sure you'll have family, but not your closest family. Is your love for him enough to make up for everything you won't have there?? Spend a week or so up there and really see what living with him is like and whether or not you'll fit in up there and if you can find a job. This is a big decision. Moving alone is a hard one, but moving for love, even harder.
Good Luck with whatever you decide.
2006-09-07 13:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by MakeBelieve. All you want. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i honestly stopped reading after you said that florida was your new home.
first off. don't relocate for a man who wouldn't do it for you.
2nd. . .you should be focused on what you want right now . . .this is the whole point of youth-discovering yourself.
in my personal opinion, i know it's hard while you're in love. but think in reality.
this is a big deal. you're gonna give up ur happy home, to move with a guy who won't ??!!
ok, what if it works . .and 5 more years pass and you're married, and he says something like . . .i don't want kids. and you are dying to have 1 or 2. . . then what?? are you just gonna settle for a puppy??
then you have to keep in mind that you have not spent more than a week with him. but you're willing to live with him.
i don't believe in living with a man that i'm not married to or soon to be married to; and not for religious reasons. first off, there is a cleaner break, if you break up. and with guys like that ( not saying he's a bad guy . . .), he probably will date you for a hella-long time ( like 10 years) until you basically have the entire family pressuring him to marry you.
look at it this way. if you are willing to marry him( and vice versa for him) right this very second, with all of his flaws and short coming. then you should move with him. but don't do it because you have great visits with him, and he's cool and crap . . .that's a 19 year olds train of thought.
wait it out with the lng distance a bit more, or move to NY, but in ur own place or with a cousin or something.
2006-09-07 13:08:21 · answer #2 · answered by Aina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is beyond easy.
If both of you are so crazy about each other, then why is it that he is NOT WILLING to make the sacrifice necessary to be with you. You are expected to give up everything you have established in FL (including your job) for him, but he is not willing to give up NY.
Where is the reciprocity?
How selfless of him!
Should you move, he has absolutely nothing to lose in this transaction and he will have his "knookie" closer to him in the process.
Love does not seek selfish gain or advantage.
Tell him to furnish you with about $2,000-$3,000 in moving expenses UP FRONT, and don't move until you get a cashier's check. See how hard he will hustle to be with you --> let's see how really CRAZY he is.
His silky words are sweet, but he is only wasting time if his pockets are empty!
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2006-09-07 13:10:49 · answer #3 · answered by DaMan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a trip for like a month or two there see if you like it
2006-09-07 13:01:44 · answer #4 · answered by NaNa BeAr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋