Making a stand with men.?

Question

they say men only treat women how women LET men treat the,,,me and women...IS THIS TRUE...I BELIEVE IT IS... how can u do this by being honest but firm..?

let me re-type as i'm typin faaaast!

- they say men only treat women how women LET men treat them....MEN and women...IS THIS TRUE...I BELIEVE IT IS... how can u do this by being honest but firm..? AND WHAT BENEFITS do you get..respecT? HONOUR?

Answer 1

this is very very VERY true. i just had a discussion about this w/ some people the other night:

men are not wired for Sensitivity, or Emotions. so in order for them to show appreciation, or treat a woman "right"...it takes Work. they have to actually make an Effort to continuously think of and do things for a woman. it sounds very unromantic, but the truth is, a man has to see it as his JOB to do "nice" things for a woman, because he knows it makes her happy. he doesn't do it cuz it makes HIM happy....its kinda like.. making his girl happy makes him happy. but thinking about dinners and dates and flowers and surprise presents is not a typical guys' dream time. (btw..women are Complete opposite!! a woman in love WILL constantly think about, and do anything to make her man happy... she does it cuz doing things for him MAKES her happy too.)

so...knowing this, 1st of all it is hard for many men to even do that. they consider it a chore. not because they are jerks, but because they are not used to being Emotional or Sensitive to "Feelings". This means that, in order for them to APPRECIATE what a woman does for him, he's gotta Consciously make an effort to appreciate it....inside of course he does, but to show it to the woman and make her happy, goes back to the "job" i was speaking about above. 2nd of all, a man will do it, but only if he feels the woman is worth it...or if she is going to leave. but if he knows that she will stay No Matter How he treats her....why would he bother putting in the effort??

therefore, if a woman continuously LETS her mate treat her badly, because she does want him to change and she loves him....but the longer she stays while he doesn't change, the more she is LETTING him do what he wants, and the relationship withers.....becomes heart wrenching, hard, sad...

but if she puts her foot down, try to work on it together, and lets him know that if things don't improve, she is gone... she is teaching him that she needs to be treated a certain way. she is giving him the chance to do it the Right way, w/ the right intention. if he doesn't want to try, then u gotta let him go. find someone who WILL do what is right and good for you. and that way, the guy u let go, will have to either change, or will go to someone else he can treat badly. but at least it's not u. does that make sense?

i don't mean this in a bad way towards men..but the truth is, men and women are just DIFFERENT. we are emotional beings; men are physical, visual beings. they have to try harder to learn more about feelings (rememeber, society squashes it out of them, as well as its just not in their nature to be lovey-dovey). so as a woman, it's our duty to help our mate Learn the right way to treat us; and a man's duty to do what he needs to do to take care of his woman in the Right, Healthy, Positive way. communication is key all thrughout this process... :) good luck, and i hope things work out for all of us! relationships are hard work..but it's rewarding when u are with the right person. it becomes a crappy job or duty when the other person doesn't work along with you.

Answer 2

I tell all my girlfriends when they start to become serious with a guy they need to lay it all out there......their expectations, what they like, dont like so they can build on the relationship from there. I had a bad experience with my very first boyfriend, he was mean, rude and not worth my time but I allowed it. Im glad I had that experience because now if someone acts the least bit rude or cocky or negative, good bye ! There are way too many men in this world to deal with some b.s.

Answer 3

Girl, if I had the answer to this I would have solved one of life's biggest mysteries.... MEN. I believe whole heartedly you have to stand up for what you believe in. You will find a man who is attracted to who you are and wouldn't dare mistreat you. If you are strong inside it will show on the outside. Unfortunetly men that appreciate a strong women are few and far between. The benefits are Self respect and finding a man who respects you. If you cannot respect yourself you don't have a hope in finding a man who does as well you are not able to respect someone in return.

Answer 4

You are absolutely right.

I always get a tit for a tat.