Oh my God!! What the HELL do they expect a kid in Kindergarden to know?!!!?

Question

My son is 5 years old and is in Kindergarden this year. Last year, in pre-K, he mastered counting to 100, ABC's, simple sounds, and writing his name. I read to him all the time, and he can read very simple books, like the cat in the hat, with some stumbling. However, he's 5. I'm not expecting perfection.

Anyways, I get a progress report today from his teacher saying his skills in these areas need improvement? WTF?? I do EXTRA work each night with him, even though they do not have homework. We do simple mathematics, reading, writing his name and other words, sounding out words, and a fun make a sentence and draw a picture to describe it. Every night. What the hell are they expecting? From what I see, my boy is doing super. Is he supposed to be calculating the radius of Neptune at 5 years old? Jesus.

He got all satisfactory for staying on task, behavior, participation, work skills, and following direction. But they claim he cannot write his name and doesn't know the alphabet.??????

Edited to add: The teacher wrote on his report he doesn't write his name? He writes his NAME perfectly at home. He can spell every object I have labeled in the home (I label common objects so he can learn to spell them). I am setting up a conference with this teacher because this is ridiculous. She obviously is not paying attention to the students and their abilities.

Answer 1

call his teacher and ask her to set up a casual conference and see what accomplishments she's aiming for this year and what to prepare him for his transition into the 1st grade.

since you know he can say the ABCs and count, he might just be too shy at school to do it in front of the class and/or teacher.

Answer 2

From a grandmother's perspective I have noticed increased pressure put on young children to "become educated" and try keep up with an ever changing and increasingly more challenging curriculum.There is a push by parents to have their children be the smartest in the class in Junior kindergarten ,and sometimes in daycare facilities as well. Hours of homework and projects.These same young children are rushed to singing lessons,dance ,sports etc. such a hectic schedule for a 4-5 year old.Why give them so much structured time? When do these little children get the time to just be kids and make their own fun.Parents work long hours to pay for all these activites and I question if they may have forgotten how to play with their children.The very world around these children holds a wealth of discovery and hands on learning but they don't have time to explore and learn.What a sad state of afairs that parents and the education system are depriving children the joys of childhood.They willl have a whole future to have stress.At what age will the child be able to reclaim their childhood?

Answer 3

Hey--- it's okay!!! really!!!
often when kids go to school they experience a kind of performance anxiety, and do not show their teachers what they show the parent at home.
This does not mean that he's forgotten anything, and you're right, he's doing really well. Your extra attention will give your son a serious head start, so good for you.
When my son started kindergarten, he began writing his letters backwards, when he had been doing them correctly for almost a year..... I got concerned, and talked to other parents, and found that many of the kids were doing similar things...one child seemed unable to write his name suddenly as well.
My mom has taught kindergarten for twenty+ years, and she reassured me that in six weeks things would fall together....
Sure enough they did.
Kids get more work, and more homework now than ever before.... it's likely that your son is nervous, or is consumed with meeting new people and adjusting to a new environment.
Give it time. He will be fine.
I too spend extra time working on reading and math with my son, and this year he is in first grade. I am now seeing for the FIRST time the results of that work.....kindergarten is a very expiremental time-- you may not see your son reach his potential for some time. His teacher should know that, and should probably not be sending progress notes so soon..... talk to her.
You sound like you're doing a phenominal job supplementing your son's education.....don't stop!!!

Answer 4

What you have said rings alarm bells to me.

I had one son who sailed through the kindergarten screening fine, who did all kinds of stuff at home, but who didn't do the same stuff in school. I got the call, went down, and they started to tell me what he couldn't do. I knew what he could do and told them, but they acted as if I were lying!! I said I wouldn't lie if he weren't doing something.

The fact that you also noted he does well on behavior and work skills and following direction also makes me think he could by like my son was at that age. My son was a very well behaved little only child, and when he got to the school where there was little calm and a lot of chaos he got kind of intimidated and nervous.

I wanted to be reasonable, so I entertained some of what they said even though I knew for a fact what my son could do.

Once he and I got older, I have come to realize that I should have done one or two things: 1) I should have told them to leave me and him alone and just do whatever and 2) I should have taken him out of that awful school.

Once my other two children came along and were in a different school (and both of them were at the top of their class) I realized what a suburban hellhole that other school had been. I had just kind of accepted the teacher's being a jerk, hearing a whole bunch of ridiculous stuff from them (that didn't always have to do with my son) and the fact that mediocrity and lack of real competence was everywhere. Being a reasonable person I didn't want to allow myself to just believe they were idiots. I went as far as to think my son had some problem - just not the one they said.

Looking back, I now know what a bunch of damaging morons they were. If you know that you're hearing crap from them just be confident enough not to question yourself or to try to make sure you're "reasonable" by considering there's the chance you could be wrong. You aren't.

If he's doing what you say he's doing nobody should be expecting more from him at his age. If you can sit them on their bottoms and get them to knock it off, fine. Otherwise, get him to another school before they start building up files on him that will follow him into first-grade and beyond.

Answer 5

I felt the same way about my daughter's teacher. I did the same thing you did. I believe the problem is, that the teacher doesn't have so much time to just focus on one child so when it's time to answer questions your child might not say the answer fast enough for the teacher to see that you child knows alot more than expected. Have a conference with the teacher to see what could be the problem or if you can sit in the class one day and see how the teacher do their job.

Answer 6

Keep working with him at home, you know what he is capable of, he could be shy at school, I know what you are going through, the teacher looked at me like I was the crazy one when she told me my son could not write his name and did not recognize letters - he can use the computer at home and types from the back of his DVD's so he can get into the websites - I sat him down and told him that I knew he could do these things and that he should remember what we do at home and the teacher would see that he could do this - worked like a charm, he now loves school, although he does have "bad" days every once in a while - positive reinforcement at home - he is with you MORE than he is at school anyway - and he is YOUR son, not the teacher, so you KNOW him best - you're doing great - keep up the good work - don't ever doubt your ability to teach your son - you sound like a great mom to me!

Answer 7

It sounds like you have a smart child. And it may just be the school setting that he is having trouble with. Does he have any brothers or sisters? Some kids act completely different around other kids. He may just need to get adjusted. Or he could be distracted. There could be posters and toys in the room that he is busy looking at, and doesn't pay attention to what he is doing. Try to talk to the teacher. Tell him what he has the ability to do, then ask her/him if you son seems distracted at school. urge her to try to keep his attention on his work.

Answer 8

Teachers are saying he cannot write his name or doesn't know the alphabet and you say he is reading Cat In The Hat? Sounds strange. Sit down with the teachers and tell them to show you what he is struggling with in detail. Get your son to show them infront of you how he reads and writes his name. As a kindergarten teacher, I would expect a 5 year old to know the alphabet. You have to have open communication and find out what they expect.

Answer 9

Our school system is very progressive - our children learned the solar system, some math, cursive etc. in a year when I remember coloring and napping (LOL). I do think observation is a good idea - it may be that your child is shy about doing what he does with you at home with someone new. That's pretty common.

From what you've said I don't think it's the teacher not paying attention but perhaps a bout of shyness from your son (or group dynamic insecurities setting in, whcih is normal at that age).

My best advice is take a deep breath, communicate with your son's teacher what he's done at home and see if you can encourage him to repeat it with her while you're present. Once he does, those nerves may disappear!

Answer 10

Maybe your child is not showing what he can really do while in school. Sounds to me like you are pushing him. Why should a 5 year old have to do simple mathematics, reading, writing his name and other words, sounding out words, and a fun make a sentence and draw a picture to describe it every night?? He is in Kindergarten for crying out loud.

Answer 11

See what she says in the conference. She might see that these things are coming easy to him and she is expecting him to push himself further. I don't know - just a guess. Good luck.

edited to finish - got called away:
Sometimes a teacher sees the potential in a child to perform better than is normally expected and will grade according to that rather than speak to the parents.
When did he start school that he got a progress report already? Is he not in public school? If he isn't then they probably DO expect more from the child.