How do you love yourself?

Question

I think you cant expect people to love you, if you dont love yourself. I was wondering how people, esp those in relationships have learnt to love themselves, in order to let other people love them?

Answer 1

1. Stop all criticism: Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

2. Don't scare yourself: Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

3. Be gentle and kind and patient: Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient
with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you
really loved.

4. Be kind to your mind: Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.

5. Praise yourself: Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

6. Support yourself: Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

7. Be loving to your negatives: Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So. lovingly release the old negative patterns.

8. Take care of your body: Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

9. Mirror work: Look into your own eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say: "I love you, I really love you!"

10. LOVE YOURSELF - DO IT NOW! Don't wait until you get well or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin NOW - do the best you can.

Answer 2

You are right, you must first learn to love yourself in order for others to love you. Easier said than done though!

You have to focus on yourself, pick out your best characteristics, not just physical attributes, but inner qualities as well. What makes you different than everybody else? Do you make people smile, do you make people laugh, are you a good listener, are you good at offering solutions to people's problems? You have to find out what it is that makes you YOU.

Strip away everything that you THINK you should be for the sake of others. Forget about what other people want you to be like. Forget about being someone just to impress others. If you go down this road, you end up losing yourself, living your life for others and you end up in a state of confusion over who you really are.

Once you have found the real you, be proud that you have found yourself. You are unique, there is no other person in this entire universe that is like you , you are a one off. Feel happy about this. Once you have found you, like that person and help yourself grow by just being you.

Once you have accepted yourself for who you really are, you will be much more at ease, you won't have to pretend to be something you are not, and people will be instantly drawn to the confidence you feel in yourself.

Good luck, and happy loving! x

Answer 3

well, u work on yourself. if u re fat - lose weight. if u re ignorant - get some education. there should be smth fro what u will love yourself. u can not love yourself if u re nothing. i love myself fro my gorgeous body which i keep in perfect shape by working really hard in gym every day. so i respect myself for having will power to go to gym every day even if im tired or sleepy or sad or whatever. also i have respect for myself for finishing my education and getting master degree even if i had 2 small children at that time. so i love myself for being beautiful, educated, nicely shaped woman. im sure u can find smth to love yourself too. if u can't just start doing smth for what u will respect yourself and love

Answer 4

Yes, you can expect people to love you even if you dont love yourself, and once they do, you then begin to see yourself as they see you, it helps a lot, gives you a reason to, and eventually if youre receptive to it, you find the things in yourself that they do., and begin the process of loving yourself.

Answer 5

Well, the examples you gave aren't ALL pampering. Taking showers every day is just good personal hygiene, as is brushing your teeth. Making yourself look presentable isn't actually pampering either. We must maintain a presentable appearance if we are to be accepted and successful in society. So doing your hair is just personal grooming. Putting lotion on, and wearing comfortable clothing is largely "preventative" maintainance so to speak. In order to enjoy the most healthy and restful sleep period, one must make an effort to be comfortable and relaxed before turning in for the evening. This must be done consistently in order to maximize your effectiveness in handling the tasks at hand the next day. Sounds to me like you are "loving" yourself just fine, but "pampering"? i wouldn't go that far. If you said that you take an hour long shower in your living room sized bathroom, with the 9 shower nozzles, to be followed by an additional half hour of soaking in your kitchen sized hot tub with 315 dollar a pound rare Earth salts, next to your 780 dollar a square foot pure marble tanning deck, and then brushed your teeth with your 1200 dollar, gold plated, diamond encrusted, monogrammed toothbrush, with the variable auto-vibrate setting, and then had your 75 dollar an hour personal assistant brush your hair for you with your solid silver hairbrush that used to belong to an Egyptian queen, and then to finish by putting on your 3000 dollar personally tailored, brushed cotton and silk bedroom suit with matching liquid cushioned mink slippers, THEN, I might think that we could call that "pampering" yourself. Of course, I dont know if i would call that kind of excess "loving" oneself. I think a better term might be "spoiling" oneself, but that my opinion.

Answer 6

Loving yourself means accepting yourself as you are, with all your virtues and imperfections. Knowing that you were made in the likeness of God, therefore being unique and special. Accepting responsibility for yourself and forgiving oyurself for what you think are flaws or past mistakes.

Answer 7

Its not a case of 'loving' yourself, you find that with & from other people, but it is a case of liking & being happy with who & what you are.

Answer 8

I learned to love myself by not having to rely on anyone to validate my beauty, inner and outer. Loving myself doesn't mean ego. For me it meant being okay with who I AM and not having to rely on others to make me feel better. I had to learn that I am beautiful, I am smart, I am worthy.

Once I learned to be indepedent and not having to rely on others for happiness, my fiance just fell into my lap. Once I stopped being desperate and being honest with myself, a guy found me. We've been together ever since, and you know what? It's been amazing to KNOW how incredible I am.

Answer 9

You have to learn how, my ex partner made me feel worthless and it took me a long time after leaving him to believe in myself and start to love myself again, but I did it, I still have occasional lapses but my bloke always gives me a boost when he tells me he loves me.

Answer 10

it is not a question of how, it is already in your heart to love yourself.