Are you funny?

Question

Tell me something funny, if you got what it takes.
Why,just wantto hear something funny.

Answer 1

u found nemo rite? okay, now lets start finding emo!!!!! u kno that nemo's twin, emo, the lip ring black hair fish? u don't? okay okay, since emo is no where to be seen, nemo can fill in. No? okay, how about a new series called draco malfoy and his evil emo? no?no more emo? aww! u guys have no freaking imagination! lets just to do that show where gangsters teach us how to shoot and dress? fine! just dont let us get killed, kay? *shoot shoot* gansta talking: wassup dog? no *BEEP* answer huh? well i ate emo so shut the *BEEP* up! come on *** ga, we done here! aight!

Answer 2

I don't think so but I have been told I am. Basically I have a lot of sayings that have come down through generations that I use just as a matter of speech and some people find them just plain funny. I don't give them a second thought. Being funny is not my style.
For ex: "' Oh, I was so upset ...I was like a monkey looking for a tree to climb."

Answer 3

I'm a practicing stand-up comedian, so here we go.
Here's my list of the 20 stupidest ways to lose weight.
1. Running from the police
2. Running from your doctor
3. Running for the ice cream truck
4. Running from guard dogs
5. Jogging to the nearest McDonalds
6. Walking to Arby's
7. Swiming to the hot dog stand
8. Chewing the hot dog(burns calories!)
9. Chasing your rolling M+Ms
10. Jogging to Wendy's
11. Pulling out your wallet
12. Walking to the bathroom
13. Walking FROM the bathroom
14. Walking the 2 houses down to your house
15. Walk the dog- Or let IT walk YOU!
16. Walk over to your T.V. to turn it on
17. Press the buttons on the remote control
18. Walk to the fridge
19. Take out a beer/ soda/ milk
20. Open it and drink it!

Answer 4

Okay I made this up tell me if you think I'm funny!

How is having sex after being married over 10 years and your period alike?

You might not know when it will happen
You might not know how long it will last
Sometimes it hurts
It might be embarassing
It might start while you're asleep
but thank God it's only once a month!

Answer 5

The entire Mallrats movie!!! That's funny!

Answer 6

I can't be funny just on the fly...Usually if something happens in public or right then and there then usually i can make up something funny.

Answer 7

I went to a job interview today for Borders bookstore and after the interview, I gave the manager a thank-you card.

The thank-you card was purchased at Barnes and Noble :)

Answer 8

Mounted Cop

There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him.
''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ''did Santa bring it to you?''

''Yep,'' the little boy said, ''he sure did!''

The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he said, ''Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it.''

To go along with the cop, the little boy said, ''Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yes, He sure did,'' said the cop.

The little boy looked up at the cop and said, ''Next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse instead of on top.''

Answer 9

there was an old man that couldnt speak well. he went out to the bakery to buy a bun and then went to the music store to but a cassette.
he couldnt speak wel so he called a bun a bum and a cassette a kiss it. on his way back he crashed into a person and dropped his bun and cassette. he asked the person
excuse me? can you pick up my bum and kiss it?

Answer 10

You may have heard it yesterday...
So there's this girl. She is trying to step up on the subway. She decides to losen her skirt. Then she tries again to step up, nope too tight. So she tries for about 3 times and a man lifts her up on the subway. "HEY!!! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME LIKE THAT!!!!" Said the woman. "Well after you unzipped my fly 3 times, I figured we were friends!" said the man.