I'm the only person I know who had a dad like this, nobody even has one similar....lol, most of my friends parents are things like doctors or own their own businesses or whatever.
He was a long haired rocker/hippie/outlaw. I don't remember him ever having hair shorter than his shoulders. He was constantly listening to music, or playing it on his guitar. I grew up listening to the Stones, The Doors, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Tom Petty and all the greats. He was an artist, a poet, a musician and on the whole a good man. There's no other word for him except for cool. He was smooth...lol, everybody liked him. He was intelligent and sophisticated and the best man I've ever known. Unlike some other fathers, he did things with me and actually enjoyed them.....just simple things like playing cards, but it meant a lot. There's no words to truly describe him, but that's the best I can do.
Ok, this might have seemed lame but I just felt like telling a bunch of strangers about my late dad. I'm 17 now and he passed away 3 years ago, and I constantly think about him. I enjoy remembering my dad, but I'm just coming out of a depression that was triggered by his death. Sometimes though (and often) I can't help but think about him.....especially during major moments, like when I got my license. Any advice on how to deal with this better, because so far I've been doing a crappy job.
2006-09-07 10:27:58 · 30 answers · asked by Led*Zep*Babe 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Easier said than done Hershey...
2006-09-07 10:31:25 · update #1
When my grandpa died (he sounds a lot like your dad) someone told me to think about how lucky I was that he was such a great man that it's this hard to get over it. I suppose that's true, but it doesn't really make things easier.
You sound very lucky to have had such a cool dad. However you deal with it is fine (as long as it isn't destructive.) You may never really get over it. There are time in your life where it'll just feel crappy that he's not there. It's normal. Just feel it, and then do something else.
One thing I would do is concentrate on your relationships with family and close friends who are still around. I would hate for you to miss out on a relationship with them because you were always so sad.
2006-09-07 10:35:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand where you are coming from. My son passed away 4 1/2 years ago and sometimes I want to shout from the roof tops just so people know that he existed and what a great kid he was. There is NOTHING wrong with it, it is actually a healthy way to deal with missing him. You will never forget someone who was such an important part of your life and you never "move on" or "get over it" you just learn to go on living because you are still alive. For the rest of your life you will have good days and bad days. Days when it feels like your heart is breaking all over again and days when you know you'll be okay. Don't fight it, mourn when you feel the need to, but don't give into it either. Good luck.
2006-09-07 10:50:19 · answer #2 · answered by dropkickchick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're doing a wonderful job. Talking about him and how you feel is the best thing that you can do for yourself AND his memory. I feel honored to have been able to hear about such a great man. Thank you. My dad is a left over hippie...used to build motorcycles and smoked a lot of pot. LOL He sang and played guitar too, he was a welder...then he had a stroke a few years back. Now he can't do much. I hate it, but know the day will come when I will lose him forever. I don't know how I will deal with it, and I'm 31. I can't imagine how it must be to have lost your dad at 14. Just know he loved you very much. Contact me if you ever want to just talk about him. I'll be here. I hope you have a good day hun.
2006-09-07 10:34:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you had a great dad, and that you're doing better than you know. You say you're coming out of a depression. I suspect that means that you are better now than you were. Patience is key. You're headed in the right direction.
You will continue to have "major moments" when you will think of him. And isn't that a wonderful thing. He will share those moments with you and having those major events in your life, and remembering him will keep him alive for you forever. Enjoy that and don't be afraid to think of him and feel those thoughts.
Give yourself time. There is no "fast forward button". Your wonderful memories of such a unique dad will continue to carry you into a happier future, and I bet you'll be a terrific parent some day because of him.
2006-09-07 10:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by Debie O 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but I'm pretty sure this will always be a struggle for you. When you graduate, when you get married. Time will help heal the pain, but the big events will tear the wound open again at least for a little bit.
Once you accept this, things will get a little better. Don't beat yourself up for getting a little blue when he's gone. It's normal. Allow yourself the time you need in each major situation to be sad. Then remember the good times and be happy you were lucky enough to have him in your life for as long as you did. Be grateful he made such in impact on you and your life and hope you can find a man to marry and have children with that will be as great to them as your father was to you.
2006-09-07 10:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by Heather S 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I lost my 23 yr old brother last year in a car accident. It was hard and still is for me and my family...It has tarn us appart! We even heard a rumor about his best friend has something to do with it. I have to keep an eye out for my cousin who was brave enough to so in the morgue to see him. He's depressed and this made him move depressed so I check on him from time to time. We do talk about my brother very often. He got on my nerves and everyone elses but we now know that that was his way of telling us he loved us and that we will always remember him. When we go out, we do his dance. I see a guy with long braids and I say my brother's hair was longer than that. I smell his favorite cologne and smell black and mild cigars and hear songs that he'll play and just cry. It's his way of saying hey I'm here with you and always will be. I can go on and on.... I feel what you feel and that is what keeps me going also
2006-09-07 10:39:07 · answer #6 · answered by angelic1302 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Danni, thank you for sharing. I lost my father at a very young age, so I never got the chance to enjoy the things like you did with your father. I'm from his generation and I saw alot of the bands you mentioned live, lol. It sounds like he must have been a great father, and thats becoming rare anymore in this world. So sorry for your loss. Even though its been three years, it seems like your still mourning. I think with time you will get over losing him and move on. Remember, death is a part of life, and no one is exempt from its grasp. Have you considered therapy? Feel free to send me an IM anytime.
2006-09-07 10:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry about your loss. There is nothing that can make you stop thinking about your dad, but you must be sure that,as he always been there for you, he will be beside you, as long as he's a part of your hart. Which, I think, means always. Sounds so banal, but it is true. You're a part of him, and even if there is no such thing as Heaven, he gave you a piece of him,that will be with you forever. It's really sad, but it goes smoother with time. He's proud of you, I'm sure. And he did what his life was all about- he gave life to a person, and that is what really makes him immortal. All the best luck!!
2006-09-07 10:39:45 · answer #8 · answered by milena_sweety2002 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sound like your dad was a good friend. I am so sorry for your lost.
I lost my father nine years ago. I still talk about him all the time. I think talking about him helps me. That is the best advise I can give you. I also write my father letters and then burn them. As the smoke drifts skyward, I feel like I am sending the letter to my father.
I don't think you are doing a crappy job dealing with his lost from what I read. You wrote a beautiful tribute to him and I appreciate you sharing that story about him.
The wounds will never completely heal, but they will soften in time. Hang in there. Sending you blessings.
2006-09-07 10:39:45 · answer #9 · answered by historybug 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it really does take time -I know my mom died 1 year ago & it ain't easy. It is always good to remember the great things that person did for you. I know people who have lost someone & are still grieving after 15-20 years. It is hard so I can only wish you the best of luck but in time the depression will go away but the loss of your loved one won't Good luck & try not to let it get you to down-sometimes it helps to talk to someone & I know exactly where your coming for so I feel for you just keep on going on with your life the best you can & don't feel bad if you cry cuz believe me it does help!!!In time you will feel better!!! Good luck!!
2006-09-07 10:35:11 · answer #10 · answered by simple one 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋