i have been in love 6 years with her now since i was 10 aqnd she was 14. I am going to marry her in 2 years. Also she is from morroco and does anyone know by me marrying her how long will it take for me to get her visa and passport sorted out?
2006-09-07 10:11:24 · 38 answers · asked by lewis jones 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
don't listen to all these people...most have no idea what they are talking about. you ARE allowed to marry your cousin in the U.S. in 21 states (and no kentucky and arkansas aren't among them!) and also in the U.K. there are absolutely no restrictions...i know my best friend is marrying her cousin in the u.k. and they've done their research!
also fears about cousins having deformed/retarded babies are exaggerated. the risk 1st cousins have to their offspring is the same risk as a 40 year old woman would have getting pregant and having something wrong with her baby. i mean yeah it happens but does it stop women of 40 years from having children? no.
it's estimated that over 20% of couples in the world are cousins.
although it won't be easy for people to accept, don't be ashamed..my friend and her fiance are very honest about it and that makes it less shocking.
i suggest you look at this website, it lets you know you aren't alone and more couples than you'd think are cousins and it's completely acceptable for them to marry in ANY country except the 20-some states the U.S.
hope this is helpful and good luck.
2006-09-07 10:34:31 · answer #1 · answered by mira t 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
In Europe I don't believe it's legal; and to be honest I don't believe it's right either.
You probably won't want to hear that, but could that be a dream you are in love with?
How long was it since you last saw her? Maybe you idealize a souvenir?
She will certainly have changed.
You know, like every other adult, I have been 16 too; and we do feel so strongly at this age. Everything seems to be possible; We think that we know it all;that adults don't understand.
The truth is they do; only too well. They've been there and done that.
I too was in love, well I would swear I was at the time with my cousin; from a tender age as well; and he too, was leaving far away.
Fortunately, it wouldn't have even crossed my mind to tell him, or anybody else, because I knew it was wrong and that nobody would have understood.
Maybe that helped. Anyway, it did pass me.
Later, when I would think about it, I would laugh.
So many things I was so sure about, and wanted to do, but my parents wouldn't let me.
Well, I am glad today they didn't.
It's a good thing that you have to wait or want to wait two more years before marrying her. By this time you will know whether it was a whim or the true thing. She will too.
However, if you do get through with it, be aware that you are very likely to have children with serious learning difficulties or disabled children.Possibly to remind us that it's not meant to be?
Good luck.
KC.
2006-09-10 07:21:09 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Big mistake.
You're 16--do you honestly think you've experienced the world? Do you think you're mature enough for marriage?
Think back to when you were 10 years old. Are you that same person now? Probably not.
You may think you love her, and you may really do love her. However, you are 16. It seems as though you have been so consumed with love that you haven't had a chance to live life as a 16 year old--you just want to grow up and get married.
Marriage is a great thing, but it's also a very tough commitment. Why would you want to give away your childhood for marriage? What about college? Why would you want to forgo college to get married?
Be honest with yourself--is it the sex you want? Is it the...what? You need to figure out what you're going to do, because it's not fair to you or your girlfriend to just want to get married.
Remember--it's not about how long you've been dating. It's about how young you are. It's about how hard it is to be a teen, nonetheless be married.
Also, about the cousin bit--you really need to look at other people as well. Right now it sounds like you are just with your cousin because she's the only "woman" you've ever known.
2006-09-07 12:33:06 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mira T. brings up some good points but I think that the chance of offspring of first cousins having birth defects is actually less than that of babies born to mothers over 40. It's about a 2% elevated risk for cousins and a 10% elevated risk for mothers over 40. Nightline (or some similar show) just talked about cousins marrying last night. Just something to consider: If I'd chosen my mate at 16, we'd be in real trouble now :) Be careful!
2006-09-07 14:27:09 · answer #4 · answered by Jackie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound much more concerned with the image you will present to "the public" than with your cousin, as if you thought you were starring in a film. You are far too young to be thinking of marriage to anyone. A marriage between you and your cousin is likely to be viewed as a marriage of convenience by the immigration authorities, who may not grant her a visa at all, even if she is foolish enough to enter into a marriage with you. If she does have feelings for you then that suggests she has problems of her own as it is not appropriate to be attracted to children.
2006-09-10 02:01:14 · answer #5 · answered by Specsy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yikes!! You may want to rethink your relationship. If you are cousins, there could be serious problem if you had children. Besides, I think that there are restrictions when you go to get a marriage license.
And, the fact that you are 16 is an issue. You may think that you are mature enough to get married now, but please, give yourself a few more years to grow before strapping yourself down in a marriage.
2006-09-07 10:15:07 · answer #6 · answered by Kristy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't spread it around that you're cousins if you're worried about acceptance. Just act like any other married couple. Your families will know but that's about it! And they ought to love you anyway! Less people will find out than you think.
2006-09-07 13:42:11 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny Alice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
society wont accept you, so you should keep that part secret. In some societies it is socially acceptable, but to face the facts several generations of inbreeding will lead to physical deformities in the children, and isnt healthy. Which is the main reason it is looked down upon.
2006-09-07 10:20:07 · answer #8 · answered by Rae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need to make sure you will be allowed to marry. I know in the UK your not allowed to marry your cousin because they are too close to you genetically and may have a negitive effect on any offspring.
2006-09-07 10:14:24 · answer #9 · answered by earthangel_ghost 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to the whole accepting thing--no. the public won't. but if you're happy, do what ya got to do.
the visa and naturalization--buckle down for a long ride cause it'll take a while
2006-09-07 10:20:21 · answer #10 · answered by the ghost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋