I have been dating my b/f for 5 years. His daughter was 2 when i met him she is now 7. She is like my own and she calls me "mom". Just this past year her real mom has been in and out of her life. His daughter is now going through the emotions of her mom not being there for her to where she lashes out at me. What can i do to help her with this situtation. She talks back, gets mean, crys, and has tempers. I love her with all my heart and i have always been there for her but i dont know what to do. I dont want to put her in couseling..
Ideas???
2006-09-07 10:00:45 · 9 answers · asked by natale0624 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Keep reminding her how much you love her every chance you get. Do not turn her mother into a bad guy by reminding her how her mother has abandoned her. Obviosly the girl feels strongly for you because she calls you mom. That is why she is lashing out at YOU, she knows that she can and you will still love her. Sometimes it helps to explain to her that it hurts you when she talks to you like that.
2006-09-07 10:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by robyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter has been going through the same thing . Her real dad has been seeing her for the past year and a half . And she did the same thing to my husband . She is nine now . And understands why her dad never really wanted anything to do with her in the first place ( bacause he is a complete *** hole ) . I've been with my husband since she was 4 . Give her time . In time she will understand the situation . And give her ALL the LOVE & SUPPORT that you can .
2006-09-07 10:30:45 · answer #2 · answered by Butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably just confused. A lot of girls and boys get all emotional and stuff. You just have to comfort her and explain to her that it's all right if she feels that way, but teach her different ways to take it out. Buy her a journal or something and let her right it down. And if she feels like punching something, tell her to punch a pillow or something. My son was like that when my boyfriend and I had a big fight last year and broke up for about six months. Then he took it all out on my new boyfriend. Then me and my boyfriend, Jacob's dad, got back together. But let me assure YOU that you are not breaking up with your boyfriend at all, if that's the idea you got when I said that.
2006-09-07 12:41:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She lashes out at you because she needs an outlet. She knows you will not stop loving her if she misbehaves. She cannot rant at the person truly at fault ( missing mom) because she feels if she is bad, that mom will leave. You are her support and her constant. She has no doubts about you. Be strong, be firm and love her with everything you have. It will get worse before it gets better.
2006-09-07 10:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she should not be calling you MOM if you are NOT her mom either by marriage or by giving birth. That's why she's so conflicted, because you've been not only taking the place of "real mom" but also being acknowledged as "mom" and hey, now REAL MOM is back....You can't have TWO MOM's, can you?
If you cant let go of the "mom" name, then have her call you "Mommy Lisa" or whatever your name is.
And tell your boyfriend to get off the pot (as in **** or get off the pot) and MARRY YOU. Tell him I said so.
2006-09-07 10:08:23 · answer #5 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok tell the mom to be there for her and if that doesnt work try to talk to the girl about like if she likes anybody or something when she lashes out at you.
2006-09-07 10:04:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be sure never to talk down on her mother. Just be as supportive as you can. Also let her know, you don't want to replace her Mom. You just want to love her.
2006-09-07 10:06:54 · answer #7 · answered by Tina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's probably tough for her having all these people in and out of her life. Just comfort her--that's the best thing you can do for her.
2006-09-07 10:03:10 · answer #8 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you want to put her in counseling? There's nothing wrong with counseling, and it really helps kids figure their emotions out.
2006-09-07 10:13:12 · answer #9 · answered by The New Mrs. Nguyen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋