My dad is one of those super possesive dads. If I want to do something that he doesnt want me to do, he'll just say, "NO" and there is no negotiation or talk to change his mind. He is like a rock. I'm 18 now, and still he wont respect my decisions, or let me commit my own mistakes, and learn. What can I tell him, or do to get him to loosen up on the leash? I'm afraid if I dont come up with an idea, our relationship will only get worse and worse...
2006-09-07 09:53:03 · 15 answers · asked by Anansi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
play the game tell him what he wants to here and then do you with discrete
2006-09-07 09:55:48 · answer #1 · answered by poporjay 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're right.
My Dad was the same way.
I imagine that your Dad does these things because he cares for you.
Maybe you could try to tell him how much you appreciate him, and tell him that he's a great Dad. Give him reasons why you think he's agreat Dad. Ask him if he thinks he's done a good job raising you. Ask him if he thinks that he has instilled a good sense of morals, and whether or not he thinks you'd be able to take care of yourself given the values and ideals that he taught you.
Don't make the conversation about something you want him to let you do.
Make it a random conversation with no other agenda, other than to learn what it is that he thinks you are lacking. Ask him what qualities you need to attain in order to gain more decision making responsibilities.
As long as you live with him, I think that you should probably just let him be the Dad that he is. Eventually he won't be around to tell you right from wrong, or what's best for you, or how to fix your problems. Figure out a way to appreciate him, even when he's not letting you do what you want.
When he says "NO", don't argue. Smile, hug him, and say "I know you love me!"
Good luck
2006-09-07 17:04:23 · answer #2 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll answer as a dad.
I would prefer an open and honest relationship and would regret if I created an environment where i was being decieved or just didnt have an accomodation with Daughter.
Im not sure if he is strongly objecting to a relationship or career move or whatever but my best suggestion is that you take the time to show him this question and the type of answers you have been recieving. Ask him to select a best answer and see if you can open his mind to the choices he is forcing your hand into.
Ultimately it is in his hands where his relationship with you goes. As one answer points out: tell him what he wants to hear and do what you want, or learn how to compromise, tell him you love him and that you want him to be part of your collective future.
Find the right time, a relaxed good moment, and show him the question on line. If he's not a computer person, explain the concept of Answers first with other questions and then show him. I think you'll be surprised.
2006-09-07 17:07:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad sounds like a great dad. You won't see that for yourself about 5-7 more years, but take my word for it he is doing you a huge favor by being hard on you. If you want him to loosen the rope just a bit, start the process by understanding that he is helping you grow up safe and sound. Tell him how much you appreciate that and avoid badgering him to do things. By earning his trust little by little, it will get better. Appreciate the dad you have. The one you think you want ends up with adult kids that can't make good decisions.
2006-09-07 16:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by united9198 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you still live with him? If so, then it's unlikely that anything will change. Once you move out, do what you feel is best for yourself. If you make good choices, it will show and perhaps someday your dad can respect your right to take charge of your own life.
2006-09-07 17:00:48 · answer #5 · answered by bitchenbrod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to nicely tell him that since you're 18, there is no leash. Your love for him will still be there, but you're an adult. tell him that if he loves you, he'll let you start living your life. you can't wait on daddy's decisions til you're like 50! he's had your childhood, don't you think that you should have your own future?
2006-09-07 16:59:36 · answer #6 · answered by sweetiethatcares 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Guess what? You live under HIS roof and while you do, you have to ABIDE by his rules. Youa re 18, so you should be going off to college or getting a job. One day, you will be out of the house, and then you can run your own life. Up until then, just grin and bear it...OR MOVE OUT!
2006-09-07 16:57:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The best thing to do is move out. It took my dad a long time to realize you need to grow on your own. Since I moved out we're real close.
2006-09-07 16:56:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jlynn 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move out!! Your 18 your an adult and you will make your own decisions.
2006-09-07 16:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to trust your father. He's not trying to hurt you. He's saying no because yes will mean a hell of alot of trouble for you. Just trust his judgment he's looking out for your best interest.
2006-09-07 17:00:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 points.
2006-09-07 16:57:52 · answer #11 · answered by lkajdflkja 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋