do we really get over miscarriages?

Question

i was 6 months pregnant and i lost my baby b/c he wieghed 285 grams and 8 3/4 inches and i really miss him.

it wasn't in lbs yet only in grams..

i think that i'm pregnant again will i regect this next baby?....

Answer 1

I can not imagine losing my child at that age! People shouldn't be pushing you to get over it YOUR CHILD DIED! I would definitely ask my OB/GYN to recommend some grief counseling groups etc. My mother had over 10 miscarriages all around 6-8 weeks and I think it cast a whole pall over her life. They were all very real to her as they should be for any mother. All of my friends who have had miscarriages have been terribly torn up by them but luckily they have all treated it as the death of a child and treated it as the life altering event it is. This has helped them to mend their hearts a little. My pastor's son just recently lost a child at 5 months and his daughter-in-law told him that when she misses him she just imagines that when she dies her Grandmother will be holding that baby and waiting for her at the Pearly Gates. It gives her hope and peace to think of someone dear who passed on taking care of that baby for her in heaven. Please seek counseling for this terrible loss.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry. Your situation is much worse than a miscarriage. You knew he was a boy, he was a little person.

My friend lost a baby at 20 weeks, she then had two healthy children in 2 years.

She did not reject the babies. You need to give yourself permission to do 2 seperate things.

1. Love and miss your son who is gone. It wasn't fair, it is awful, and you would have been a wonderful mom to him.

2. Love and cherish this baby. It doesn't mean you don't long for and miss your son.

You haven't had time to grieve. You will never fully get over it (do you really want to totally?), but you will heal and learn to live it.

My cousin lost the third of her 5 kids. A little girl. She loves all of her children. She has a photo and a blanket of the baby girl, but she has not forgotten her, nor should she.

Be as kind and gentle with yourself as you would be with someone else in this situation.

Answer 3

do you get over them eventually but they will always have a spot in your heart. I had first miscarriage at 41/2 months and it hurt so bad when I got pregnant again after my 4th month I was relieved only to miss carry at 5 1/2 months but this time I was tested and knew what the problem was. My next preganant I was nervous and anxious and at 32 weeks there came my son that was 13 years ago and 3 1/2 years after him my twins were born at 36 weeks. All healthy. You will be find just have faith and God and in yourself that everything eventually works out.

Answer 4

I know how you feel. I had 2 in a row before I had a successful pregnancy. That was in 91 and 92. Now I have 3 kids that are happy and healthy. The pain never goes away but you manage somehow to put it aside and move on. It took me several years, and when I was pregnant with my 1st son, I was a wreck the whole 9 months. Only after I got to hear his cry and see his wrinkly pink face could I relax and enjoy the happiness.

I promise it will get better. You will always miss him but you will get to the point where you will let yourself be happy again. Hang in there. Sorry for your loss.

Answer 5

No, you won't ever really "get over" it. You can't "get over" a death in the family, can you? It's merely a matter of moving on, isn't it? And one answer-er is absolutely right, no one is in your head to say what you think. It's up to you how much time it takes. As for the new baby...you just have to love it, and love yourself and hope for the best. I, too had a very nasty miscarraige. I had my very first baby in a room, alone, no doctor and no nurse by my side. That's not a joke, or a sympathy story. A hack hospital scarred me for life, and I won't go back there for so much as an f*in band-aid. It took me 3 more years to have another baby, and I love him more than anything. It takes time. It's your duty, to the memory of your beloved son, to love and cherish this baby with as much abandon was you would have, had he been born the first time. Good luck and bright blessings.

Answer 6

i lost my baby at 3 months pregnant...i am still not over it and i am very young only 18.i still miss my baby...its like i didnt have closure over it...but i also think i am pregnant again and i dont even think about regretting this baby everything happens for a reason and if i am pregannt i will love this child just *** much as i would have the one before....its just an experience in life that some of us go through it hurts but we get through it and makes us stronger

Answer 7

I lost a baby in March. I am pregnant again and terrified something will go wrong with this pregnancy too. So far I can say I am not over my miscarriage. We will see what time does for us.

Answer 8

It depends on the person.

I know some people who seem to have "gotten over" their miscarriages, but I am not inside their heads tp know how they feel when no one else is watching.

I know for myself, I will never get over losing my baby boy. He was not a miscarriage, but died shortly after birth. He will always be a part of my family, and I will always wonder what he would have looked like, what he would have done with his life.

Answer 9

No one ever really gets over it. Congrats on the possible pregnancy! There's no way to tell if you'll miscarry again or not. You just have to take it one day at a time. I wish you the best.

Answer 10

My Aunt had 2 miscarriages over 20 years ago, and it still makes her cry. So, no you never "get over" the loss of your child.