'Doctor' he screams 'I think i'm a lightbulb'
The doctor looks at him and say's, 'Lighten up man, lighten lighten up.'
2006-09-07 09:43:02 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Not that funny, really
2006-09-07 09:48:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Doctor,doctor,I can't stop singing "The Green,Green Grass of Home."
That's what we doctors call Tom Jones' syndrome.
Oh,really?Is it common?
It's not unusual.
Doctor,Doctor,I've only got 59 seconds to live.
Wait a minute please.
Doctor,doctor,I'm a manic depressive.
Calm down,cheer up,calm down,cheer up,calm down.....
Doctor,doctor,I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
Doctor,doctor,I keep thinking I'm a piece of chalk..
Get to the end of the cue.
Doctor,doctor,I keep thinking I'm a clock.
Ok,relax.There's no need to get yourself wound up.
Doctor,doctor,I think I've swallowed a pillow.
How do you feel?
A little down in the mouth.
Doctor,doctor,I.ve got a cricket ball stuck in my ear.
How's that?
Oh,don't start...
Doctor,doctor I keep thinking I'm a bell.
If the feeling persists,give me a ring.
Doctor,doctor,I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests.
Don't worry you'll pass eventually.
But I'm the examiner!
Doctor,doctor,I think I'm a bridge.
What's come over you?
Two cars,a truck and a coach.
Doctor,doctor,people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.
Don't let them push you around.
Doctor,doctor,what's good for excessive wind?
A kite.
2006-09-07 12:29:42 · answer #2 · answered by the gunners 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man runs into the doctors screaming "I'm wigwam! I'm a Tee pee"
"Calm down" says the doc, "you're two Tents"
A man goes to a psychiatrist.
"Look at these ink blots and tell me what you see" says the shrink.
He looks at the first, "SEX" he shouts
"ok" says the doc "how about this one?"
"HUMPING!!" shouts the man.
"mmm ok " says the doc. "And this one?"
"An orgy!!" the man exclaims.
"well I think I can see the problem" replies the shrink. "you are obsessed with sex".
"bollocks!" says the man, "you're the one with all the dirty pictures!"
2006-09-07 10:50:45 · answer #3 · answered by Darkus malakus 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Pull tourself together!!
2006-09-07 20:25:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man goes into a Dentist office and says, "Doc I've got problems, I think I'm a moth."
The dentist replies, "Why did you come here then?"
The man says, "The light was on."
2006-09-07 09:47:33 · answer #5 · answered by Stacey B 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Woman goes into a doctors and says, *I think I'm a pair of curtains*. Doc says, *Pull yourself together*.
2006-09-07 10:01:36 · answer #6 · answered by tucksie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
man goes to a psychiatrist & says 'doctor I keep stealing things, I can't help myself'. The doctor replies 'youre what we call a kleptomaniac' and prescribes him tablets. 'Take 3 a day for 2 weeks and if they don't work..................get me a plasma t.v.'
2006-09-07 10:21:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Patient "I think I've got a split personality"
Doc "That right sir, that will be £100 each!"
2006-09-07 14:45:31 · answer #8 · answered by Polo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a life man
2006-09-07 20:42:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he was obviously
screwed up like a screw cap
down and twisted like a bayonet
or maybe he'd just blown out?!!!
if i was the doctor i think i would just have replied by saying 'watt?!!!'
2006-09-09 01:22:09 · answer #10 · answered by supersam82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oucha M'Goucha! That was a stinker!
2006-09-07 09:52:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋