When it comes to vacations, I always feel like my family gets cheated out of time with my husband and I. He has 2 weeks a year and I have 4weeks. Over the last 5 years his time is used on his family, and they expect me to go too. But when it comes to my family I visit by myself most of the time. What would you do in my case??
2006-09-07 08:55:54 · 19 answers · asked by Ellyn 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he uses both of his weeks with his family.
2006-09-07 09:02:49 · update #1
If it bothers you, you should talk. My husband and I have a similar set-up, and I know what you mean, what you're really saying is, 'my husband is not subjected to the same amount of torture I am.' I Know. But why would you want to punish him? Pick your battles carefully.
2006-09-07 09:04:51 · answer #1 · answered by steelypen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a very large extended family so I understand. I also know that it is hard to hurt peoples feelings but this is your and your husbands decision, not theirs. We now have a system where we go on vacation with the family or visit out of state family every other year. Now that we have a child and everyone wants to see him for christmas/ holidays, we said that we will be at your house on christmas this year, thanksgiving next year, etc... So everyone gets a turn, and yeah some are upset but they will either have to come see us and are welcome to join us or wait until it is their turn. Be FIRM, but nice and let everyone know you are just trying to be fair and are not trying to hurt anyones feelings.
2006-09-07 16:02:47 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked your husband to compromise so that he can use a bit of his vacation time to visit your family with you?
Can't he split up his vacation time? For example, what if he took just two days and added it onto a weekend? That would be 4 days with your family. Is he not willing even to do this?
2006-09-07 15:59:42 · answer #3 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, I'm confused, who visits you?
Is it not the same distance from your house to theirs as it is from their house to yours?!
If the situation were reversed, would you forgo time with your family in order to be "fair" to his? If you only had two weeks would you be okay with only seeing your family for one of those weeks?
Set up visitation in your neighborhood, and have both families come see you. Set up a neutral location visit where you can all go to visit each other. Disney!
I hope that's your biggest problem! Lucky you if it is.
Good luck
2006-09-07 16:08:25 · answer #4 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be best for you to talk to your husband then the two of you have a talk with his family. maybe he could spend a week or week and a half with your family, and spend the remainder with his family as a whole. You know what they say , "when you marry the man/woman, you marry the family too."
Seriously,communication is key in this situation.
Hope that helped
Keisha
2006-09-07 16:03:46 · answer #5 · answered by keisha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is give and take. Your husband needs to be reminded that when he married you, he also married into your family and needs to spend time with them. I don't think he's being fair to you or your family. You should talk to your husband and explain that you feel a bit cheated . . . he may not realize how important it is to you that he spend time with your family, too.
2006-09-07 15:59:04 · answer #6 · answered by kris2166 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alternate between the two. One time go visit your family and the next go visit his.
2006-09-07 16:00:45 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him to alternate every year. Tell him how you feel about it..
honesty is always the best policy in a marriage. If he doenst think that you are justified in thinking he should spend time with them too... then its time to evaluate your visiting schedule with his family.
2006-09-07 16:06:00 · answer #8 · answered by psychstudent 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats hard to say because I have been threw that before.You see both of my parents are past away and I had to take it upon myself to decide how I wanted to spend my time. SO ALL I CAN SAY IS GOOD LUCK AND MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE.
2006-09-07 15:59:51 · answer #9 · answered by Michael H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF IT WAS ME I WOULD TAKE IT IN TURNS, OR YOU COULD SPEND A WEEK WITH EACH FAMILY, OR ORGANIZE IT SO THAT THE FAMILIES COME TO VISIT YOU OVER THEIR HOLIDAYS ON ALTERNATE YEARS
2006-09-07 16:03:15 · answer #10 · answered by spearchukka2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋