My 37 year old fiance wants to continue to keeps his parents name on his account after we get married.?

Question

I asked this ? b4.I found out why after talking 2 him.He's White,Catholic & lives with his folks. I'm East Indian, 34 & Catholic.He's been living with them most his adult life. He has a steady job now. So he takes care of some of their bills, bought them a brand new car when they already had a car & does alot
of work around da house 4 dem. Since he travels alot 4 his work
his dad pays his bills & deposits his payck when he's away.
So he has their name on his account. When dis became an
issue I asked him about it & he said it's been that way for years
& why should he change it now & Bank will mess up if he tries
2 change it. Now he says he will not put money in that acct after
we get married. When his folks got 2 AZ for winter he will pay
their bills.His mail will still go 2 their home ater we marry. His
room is next 2 his parents.When he changes he never closes the door.His parents got upset when we snugled 2gether & huged each other in the couch. I still luv him alot

Answer 1

Why can't you two open your OWN account? Keep the one that his parent's names are on but just open your own personal account that has just your name and his name???

Also, I would recommend you each have your own accounts individually as well.

Answer 2

Since you've talked to him and he still doesn't see your side, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. I know it's hard when you love somebody, BUT 1. His parents shouldn't have more control over your finances than you do. 2. He should trust you to handle money, your and his. 3. He should be willing to find a compromise to work things out with you. 4. He should be more open to your ideas and feelings. 5. You should not be expected to hand over your paychecks when your name is not on the account. Go to premarital counseling. Whether it's with a member of the clergy or a professional therapist, you two need help. Fiances are one of the main causes of arguments and divorces. If you two can't find a happy middle ground, then you shouldn't be getting married. All this will do is get worse with time. At 37, he is old enough to be on his own, not letting mommy & daddy pull the purse strings. Sounds like he never grew up.

Answer 3

This is like the sixth time you've posted the same question...though with a different explaination each time. What gives? You've had a lot of good answers, easily summed up: you need to talk to him, don't marry him until you've got things worked out. Your repeated posting of this question makes me think that you don't really care what advice people give you, that you're just looking for someone to finally tell you that it's ok to go ahead and marry. If that's the reason you keep posting then i suggest you don't ask for our opinions.

I posted this answer last time: "I think you need to tell him to cut loose the apron strings. He's 37 years old...old enough to let go of his parents' hands. I can understand that when he was single, his parents had access to his account to make sure that his bills got paid on time while he traveled, but you two are getting married...it should be just you and him....you'll be there to take care of any bills when he's gone."

While it's nice that you two finally talked, I still think you need to reconsider marrying the guy as he seems like he will ALWAYS be a mama's boy. Changing the names on the account is not going to cause the bank to mess up his account. I'm sure they've performed the same service many times before. He's just looking for an excuse. If you "luv him alot," then go ahead and marry him...but you'll be in for a lot of drama after.

Answer 4

oh god, girl! You are out of your mind if you are even CONSIDERING marrying this guy! Things will only get worse if you marry him. He's a loser. Living with his parents for most of his adult life? Come on! He's a mommy and daddy's boy! If he really loved you and wanted to make a life with you, he would become a man and take care of his own responsibilities. Also, he's full of crap about the bank "messing up" if he tries to change it by taking the parents names off the account. A few months ago, my stepdad had to take a name off his checking account (long story) and had NO problem with it. If you marry this guy, you're going to be REALLY unhappy. I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to dump him and get with a real man. This guy can't provide a good, loving home for you and any children you might have. You're always going to be "competing" with his parents for his affections. This guy is a mess. I wouldn't even call him a "man". I'm surprised you put up with his crap for so long. You can do SO much bettter!

Answer 5

Just like I said b4.......RUN. He will not change. If he isn't going to put money in the account after you get married then why does he still need that account? Sounds fishy. He will alway do exactly what his momma tells him to do. You will never come first in his life and you should. Everyone deserves that. You all are adults, you should be able to snuggle. Next question: Why is he still living with his parents? Has he ever been married before? Do you realize that he is 34, living with mommy and daddy, paying their bills and they are running his life???!?!?!?!?! Think about this situation........RUN!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

You got a bad case of mama's boy on your hands. Tell him about a wonderful invention called direct deposit. That will take his dad out of the equation of depositing his check.

I'm all about helping your family out, but he needs to put a little space in there in order for you guys to have a chance.

Answer 7

You guys are going to have to come up with some type of compromise if you don't want this to be an ongoing problem because you CAN NOT change a person no matter how much you try or how much they tell you they are going to change.

Answer 8

That is innapropirate. He needs to cut the apron strings. He can either put you on his account or have his own. He's a big boy now so mom and dad don't need to be on his account.

Answer 9

sounds to me like hes stuck in his ways and not in the good way either. its not a hassle to take his parents off his bank account all he has to do is close it and open a new one with the same bank. takes like five mins. i dont think hes understand how much of a baby hes making him self out to be. he shouldn't be responsible for his parents money troubles. after all they are adults now. it also sounds to me like his parents are forcing him to take care of them in fear of loosing him. talk to him about his goals and what he feels his responsibility's are in your relationship.

if he doesn't feel he needs to changes his ways then i would think about not marring him.

Answer 10

If you throw a fit about his family, you will be the loser not them. But you can always tell how good a man will treat you, by how he treats his parents...but this guy sounds a little creepy.