Are you supposed to have a baby shower with every pregnancy?

Question

My mother in law made a comment that she thought you were only supposed to have a baby shower for your first pregnancy. Does anyone know the etiquette of this?

My son is 2 and now we are expecting a girl. So they are kind of close together, but my best friend wants to throw me a shower, and it would be fun to get the "girly" stuff and really helpful if I had a diaper party or something...but I also don't want to look rude for doing so. I could always say please no gifts or something...

Answer 1

Let's look at it from a slightly different point of view.

It really isn't up to you if there is a baby shower or not. You aren't the one asking for it, you are just the one that is pregnant.

Baby showers are "thrown" for the expectant mom by a friend or another family member to celebrate the new expectant life that you are carrying.

If someone else wants to have a baby shower for you then it is their call not yours. Let them do what they want. Graciously accept the gifts provided and use them knowing that they were given to you by someone who cared enough about you and the baby to help you out with things you may need.

The baby shower is something that should never be expected or demanded, it is done out of friendship and love for the person who is expecting.

Enjoy, have fun, and be sure to thank whomever was kind enough to put the shower together for you and your baby.

Good luck and congratulations.

Answer 2

Is it usual for a baby shower to be held only for the first baby, or can one be held for a second or third baby, especially if say the first baby is a boy and the later baby is a girl?


Traditionally a baby shower is only held for the first baby, but the modern view is that baby showers can be held for subsequent babies as every baby’s birth is a cause for celebration. It might be a good idea if the person who is intending to host the shower asks the potential guests how they feel about holding a second or third shower. If most people seen keen with the idea then why not have one.

Gifts for the shower are best aimed at being the more useful everyday items that the baby may need and maybe not quite as expensive as those given at a first baby shower. For example diapers, bibs, bottles, formula, receiving blankets and onsies.

If the second or third baby is not the same sex as the original child, or if there has been a considerable lapse in time between the births the mother may not still have the original clothing and equipment it may be particularly appropriate to hold a subsequent shower, often called a sprinkle.

But please do remember that the idea of holding a baby shower is of course not just about giving gifts but is also a social event and it is a good excuse for friends and family to get together and to celebrate the birth of a baby.

Answer 3

Baby showers are mainly for first pregnancies only. There are some exceptions to this though. If the pregnancies are from two different fathers then most likely the second fathers family would throw you a shower (unless of course this isn't his first child). The only other exception I could see is if your pregnancies are far apart, i.e. 7 or 8 years. Of course if a group of your friends wanted to get together and throw you something small I would never turn it down.

Answer 4

I have two children, but they are 6 years apart. With the first child, since I knew for sure what I was having, I had the baby shower before she was born. It was a very large shower with all of my aunts and cousins (there were 13 kids on my dad's side and 8 on my mom's) and my friends. There were about 50-55 people, so it was held in a private "party room" at a local restaurant. I was able to save everything that I got as gifts after my first daughter outgrew them.

When the second came along, 6 years and 10 months later, I already had just about everything I needed, so we had co-ed shower about 2 months after she was born.

This time, we only invited close family and friends and had a BBQ to welcome the baby, who was also a girl. We put on the invitations that no gifts were necessary but when asked by people what we needed, we simply told them to get a gift card at one of the local stores, ie. Wal-Mart, K-Mart or Target. This way we could use the cards for diapers or formula or whatever we needed. I ended up getting a few new outfits, but the best part was we got about $500.00 in gift cards.

The BBQ was great because it didn't make people feel as though they were obligated to bring a gift, only to come and help us welcome our new little one into the world. My husband enjoyed it because he said he felt like he was actually "a part of all of it", not like with the first one where he said he felt as though "his job was done, now go away!". We didn't play games or anything, except the usual, shoot pool, play horseshoes, but we did send everyone a nice thank you note for celebrating the new addition to our family with us.

Answer 5

It depends on the region you live in. Some of my friends around the country think it's appalling and greedy to have more than one shower, however where I live(in Arkansas) it's a custom to have a shower for each child.

In some places a shower is considered a party to welcome to move to motherhood, in other places it's considered a party to welcome the baby into the world.

Talk to your friends and find out what is the norm in your area.

I get to have one with each child, but I doubt I'll even need one because everyone was sooooooooo generous at my shower for my son. I've got everything I could possibly need other than diapers and hopefully next time I'll need girly clothes, lol.

So bascially it just depends on what is the norm in your area.

Answer 6

I don't think there are any set rules for etiquette in this department. Most families don't have a baby shower for the 2nd child unless they are years apart.... 5 -10 years for example. A baby shower for a 2nd child may be given by close friends, church members, fellow work employees, or other similar groups. And no one questions or frowns on the idea.

Answer 7

I always thought a baby shower was only for your first one, but nowadays they are way more common. I wouldn't throw one myself, but if a friend wants to do it I don't see anything wrong with it. If you are not the one throwing it, you have no reason to feel rude. Maybe they want to buy you some girlie stuff, just as much as you would enjoy having it!

Answer 8

I don't know the official etiquette but here is MY take on the matter....

I think that if the children are less than 4 years apart, you should realistically still have the furniture, crib, etc....now as far as the clothing, infant clothing should not be handed down. You don't know from the beginning if your newborn has any allergies or reactions and it's just plain nasty, so friends and family can certainly give t-shirts, clothes, etc at their leisure.

If you have more than 3 children, than doggon it, you are making the conscience decision to have kids and everyone shouldn't have to pay for it.....definitely no shower after the third child........again, just my take on the matter.

Answer 9

Yes, you only have a baby shower for the first, however, some people have diaper parties or will chip in money for a larger stroller when someone is expecting their second. And, gifts are given only by those close to the Mommy.
But, yes, the etiquette is only a full baby shower for the first baby.

Answer 10

Lots of people say one baby shower,but sometimes you can get lucky and someone else will give you a baby shower for a different pregnancy.