Respect...??

Question

I feel in our society today respect is a top issue. There seems to be too many children who do not get respect and far more who do not give respect. I’m not asking because I need to earn respect I’m just asking this from a parents stand point of what you are doing with your children to teach them or if you have concern at all.

-Do you believe in the saying “To earn respect you must give it first?”

-At what age do you believe your children should get respect?

-Do you think respect is something that takes time or it should be automatically given?

-In what ways do you teach you children respect?

-Do you believe etiquette in our society is even around anymore and do you feel etiquette has anything to do with respect?

-Any other feelings on the issue?

Thank you for all the responses!

Answer 1

Respect is one of those slippery terms, like "love", whose definition depends a great deal on the mindframe of the person asking the question. Certainly you should be teaching your children all the time to be courteous and to treat other people like they're important. That should have started from birth, even if they're just learning from the example you set.

As to what I teach my son, in order to be respectful? Well:

1.) He learns to address people politely (using "Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So", not using grown-ups' first name),

2.) He's learned to say "Please" and "Thank you" spontaneously, and to say "Sorry" when he hurts someone or does something wrong,

3.) My wife and I have taught him to share and take turns with other children, and to let smaller children (and young ladies) go first,

And so on. As far as "earning" repsect goes, our lesson to our son is this: you behave in a polite and respectful way, because that's what you're supposed to do and it's the right thing to do, regardless of how the other person does or doesn't extend the same courtesy.

Answer 2

No, I belive respect is learned by children by example...if they see us respecting others, they will automaticly start to do it too

Children deserve respect all the time. I think as they get older the respect gets a little more indepth ( teaching potty training you go in and help them, as they get older you knock and see if they need help)

I think respect can be both...if you have to deal with a rude person it is very hard to give respect and alot of us dont.. but then we realize that we should and we do...

We knock before we go in there rooms or the bathroom.. We ask them if we can play their video games or share a snack. Just because we are parents it doesnt give us any right to disrespect our childrens privacy... Our kids are 9, 5 and 4

I dont think half of our society knows what etiquette is. We have turned into a rude bunch of people with little respect for anyone or anything else including ourselves sometimes... I really hate going to wal mart some days...

I think that parents need to look at their children as other people and not "property" and learn that what the kids see them do and how they behave.. is how they are going to act when they grow up..... It all starts at home!!

Answer 3

i think etiquette has everything to do with respect. i agree with you about society. and i really can't say what happened....i wonder if it had anything to do with the free love..and free whatever and those people having kids. you know, the hippies. (okay, i'm not the most p.c. person) it seems to me that everyone was so concerned with expressing feelings and emotion that they didn't bother to devise what the proper ways were to express them or "God-forbid"-not express them at all if it's not necessary. i think part of demanding respect is in giving it. when you think of people that are worthy of your respect, they're always people that have the utmost respect for everyone else. respect does not mean to bow down to anyone. respect is about having integrity, dignity, couth, sophistication, character. it's having enough respect in yourself to present yourself to others respectfully. it's about holding yourself to a high standard. i think you naturally earn respect by giving it. you teach a child to be respectful by being respectful and correcting them when they are not. children need to be around respect to learn it. and they should be around it from day one.

Answer 4

You've won my heart! I wish all young people like yourself would be mindful of respect issues.

My personal feeling is that you should automatically treat someone with respect, until he proves that he doesn't deserve it.

Ettiquette is a formalized set of rules that ensure that we give (and, I hope, that we get) respect. Because these rules are changing, there's a good deal of friction, especially between the 20-something set, and old farts like me.

Here's my Pet Peeve: being addressed by children by my first name. It suggests that the child is my peer...which, of course, he isn't. I so much prefer "Mrs. X".

Thanks for an interesting question!

Answer 5

Teaching your children about respect is one of the hardest lessons.
Its really easy to say "Show some respect!" or "Be more respectful" but if we don't respect our children they will not learn how to respect others.
We respect our children until they give us reason not to. We try to respect feelings, privacy, opinions etc. and in giving them respect, they show us respect in return. We do not "talk down" to our children and they are not allowed to talk back or disrepectfully to us. We remind them that everyone wants to be treated well and they should follow the Golden Rule.
We do struggle with this issue though as kids try to push boundaries and try to spread their wings. I encoursage my kids to express their views but do it in a respectful manner and your views will be respected.

Answer 6

I think the problem with disrespectful children and young adults is that they are not respected by their parents. Children learn how to respect, its not innate. Yes, if you give respect you get respect. A child is taught respect simply by showing them respect and also by explaining to then HOW to respect. I think respect should be given right away. Its like trust. You should trust your children and they will learn to be trustworthy. If you act like you don't trust a person then they start to doubt their worth and it is at this time that people start to make poor choices.

Answer 7

I'm not sure I've never used that word with my kids. I just try to treat them like people and not just my kids. I expect them to say "Yes Ma'm" and "No Sir" to me, and I'll say it to them too. If I mess up, I apologize to them just like I expect them to do towards other people or each other. I try to not expect more than they are developmentally able to do. I try to make sure to hug daily and say I love you. I teach them that taking turns to talk is good and interrupting is rude. I fess up to my mistakes and make sure they realize that I'm not perfect. I know that one day I'll have to answer for how I've raised and treated them, to God and to my kids. I just want them to grow up to be great people. So although I don't use the word respect, I try to show them that. A person deserves to be treated well, irregardless of age. I'm totally willing to admit I'm wrong, even to a small child. That is respect, I think.

Answer 8

I have always told my children treat people as you would have them treat you . Then again they have never been very disrespectful .

Answer 9

most kids today confuse respect with fear. "what are you looking at" is a demand they be feared, not respected