If you wer doing laundry for you 14yr. old daughter and you found a letter from a boy, would you read it? if it said something you didnt like would you tell her you read it?
2006-09-07 07:47:39 · 22 answers · asked by supermomma 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
IN RESPONSE TO WHAT DID IT SAY, LETS JUST SAY YOU WOULDNT WANT IT SAID ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER!
2006-09-07 08:01:29 · update #1
Yes I would tell her it, its not like you dug through her room for it, plus it gives you time to bring up the good ole birds and bees conversation!!!
2006-09-07 07:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by Sandra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd read it because I'm nosey like that. I wouldn't tell her that you read it though because then she won't trust you. I don't know what you read in the letter. I'm assuming maybe you read that she's having sex now (I don't condone sex at that age, but teens are going to sneak behind their parents' backs anyways). If she is having sex, then you don't have to mention seeing the letter at all. Just give her a talk about how she's maturing into a young lady, boys are starting to notice her more... blah blah blah... you know, make up a lovely speech and then make an appointment for her to have her first pap smear and get on some birth control. You can also talk to the gyno prior to the appointment and ask him or her to discuss safe sex and stds briefly with your daughter.
2006-09-07 15:03:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would read it and have. It's better to know what's going on in her life, then have something happen out of the blue. Let's say that she's sexually active and you have no idea. The note will let you know. I wouldn't confront her about it though. If you do then you run the risk of destroying her trust. If there is something in the note that is disturbing to you, casually bring it up in conversation and discuss it. Take her shopping and when you are taking a break and eating ice cream or something, bring up the subject. Good luck!
2006-09-07 14:54:48 · answer #3 · answered by jdecorse25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the mother of a 15 year old boy, if I were to find something like that you bet I'd read it. At that age they have pretty much tried to shut us out of their lives. If what you read is unsettling to you, take some time to calm down, then approach her with it and ask her about it. She may deny it but then again she may open up and talk about it too. And most important of all, be watchful in the future without being overbearing and " ruining her life" as she might say. Good Luck my friend......
2006-09-07 14:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have no reason to suspect her of breaking the rules, don't read it. You have the right to do so as her parent and if you were concerned that she was breaking your rules, then I would say "read it," but if she's a pretty good kid whom you trust - give her the letter back and explain to her that you didn't read it because you trust her - now she should respect that trust by (continuing) to follow the house rules.
The simple truth is that no matter how much you spy on your kids they can avoid you if they want - best to develop a mutual respect and trust.
2006-09-07 14:52:50 · answer #5 · answered by Clockwork Grape 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would read it and I would speak to my daughter about it. Honesty & openness is very important! Your daughter might be upset at first, but I'm sure she'll understand if you have a open discussion about the contents of the letter. Good luck!
2006-09-07 14:51:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i would read it only for her safety and yes i would tell her especially if it's something that is serious. i would have a conversation with her about it. it's not like you were sneaking around and going through her stuff..you happened to find something that might need your attention and to know what is really going on with your daughter.
i think that is a good thing, talk to her and make sure she remembers your mother and she's the child.
2006-09-07 14:57:05 · answer #7 · answered by ♥!BabyDoLL!♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
read it, if you must. but no matter what it says, dont tell her you read it. at this stage, your daughter is going to become more and more independent, and shes going to need you less and less. its really important that she feel she can trust you.
excepting, of course, a situation in which you feel your daughter or the boy is in danger. then, obviously, talk to your daughter. but if its simply that it gives you a bad feeling, or something minor, let it go. shell come to you in her own time.
2006-09-07 17:05:18 · answer #8 · answered by cookie_monster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would read it, depending on what it was I didn't like, I wouldn't tell her that I read it. She does have her privacy, but on the other hand...it is in the laundry...and everyone knows whatever is in the laundry is fairgame...especially money!!
2006-09-07 14:53:56 · answer #9 · answered by Hydee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would read it. It would depend on what it said as to how I handled it. Of course she'll feel her trust was violated but if what was written viloates your trust in her then it doesn't matter. Parents need to be parents first and guide them and watch over them and be friends with them after. Curious what did it say?
2006-09-07 14:55:32 · answer #10 · answered by JoeP 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um...no. At 14 your daughter is still your child, but she's trying to learn how to be an adult. If you couldn't resist reading her letter, please please please please don't tell her that you did. If you tell her you invaded her privacy, she will never let you into her life again. She will never trust you and she will never come to you if she gets into trouble and needs help.
If you raised her right, you have to trust that she will make good decisions.
If you are still concerned about what you read, you can CAREFULLY bring up some issues that you have, but you MUST NOT let on that you read her letter.
2006-09-07 14:54:28 · answer #11 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋