What is the appropriate etiquette letting people know that I'm (gift) registered for my first pregnancy?

Question

I just found out a few weeks ago that I'm pregnant. I just moved a year ago away from family and friend (1300 miles away) and probalby will not be having a baby shower. I am disappointed, since baby showers and gift giving is something my friends/family live for. How can I still let everyone know (my family already knows) that I'm pregnant, and also that I am registered (gift registry)? As it is my first pregnancy, I'd like to send announcements, but do you usually do that before or after or both? I likely cannot throw myself a shower, and it wouldn't do any good, considering most everyone is over 1300 miles away! What is the appropriate thing to do in this situation, since I'd still enjoy the cards/gifts, as would my family enjoy sending them? I just don't want to make it seem like that's the only reason I'm sending anything out.. What's a girl to do?

Answer 1

have a baby shower and add where you are registered to your invitations

Answer 2

As long as it is done inconspicuously, I don't think the mention of a gift registry is rude. When I purchase for a wedding or baby shower, I'm often grateful for the registry, because I want to get something the bride/mother can use and wants, and want to make certain that I'm not duplicating someone else's gift.

I would add a small line at the bottom of my announcements listing the registry. It could read simply "(Your name here) has registered at (these stores)." But make certain that you've registered at large department chains or major online stores, so that the registry actually makes sense for those who will be shopping for you, if so many will be from so far away. Really, the online option would be best if you know that many use the computer, because they can automatically have the shipping taken care of.

I'm certain your family and close friends will not see this as the only reason for the announcement, and will be glad to hear your exciting news.

I've never really heard of anyone doing this, but since you have moved so far from your friends and family, it could be neat to have a variation on the announcements - Something like a birth announcement, only with sonogram pictures instead. If there are many people who won't be around to share in your day-to-day experiences, maybe this will make them feel like they've been able to share in your excitement in a special way.

Answer 3

Hopefully you have some friends that will be able to throw you a party. If not, I would send out the announcements and put like a slip or something that shows were you are registered. There is nothing wrong with that. Plus you mentioned that your family loves to give gifts. Now they will have an idea of the things you will need and like for the baby. Good Luck and Congrats!!

Answer 4

Its probably always safest to wait until you're at least 12 weeks along before making any big announcements (and even then something can still go wrong/I don't mean to be a big downer..).

If your friends and family love buying gifts why not just wait and see if someone asks if you're registered somewhere. If they don't why not just let them have the enjoyment of buying whatever gift they think you may like. Since the people who would be having a shower for you are generally people who are close to you they'll probably ask what you need or ask if you'd like a gift card. You don't know that - if they are big for giving gifts - they may not pack up a box (like a "shower in a box") and just send it to you. Maybe some will send you gift cards without asking.

This is only my personal opinion, and it is quite possible I am not in keeping with some "official etiquette guide", but here goes:

I realize that gift registries serve their purpose at times, especially when there will be hundreds of people attending something like a wedding. Because they make sense at times even places like the WalMart in my town have now gotten into the act. They have a big stork painted on their window and tell people to sign up for their gift registry - so as with everything, gift registries are apparently no longer more associated with a formal event or with higher end gifts.

I suppose I could lighten up, but I'm not a big fan of gift registries unless a large, formal, wedding is involved. There seems to just be something about the presumption that people will be buying you gifts and that you should be telling them where to buy them and what you want or need that's kind that just seems a little outside of what's good etiquette to me. There are times when what seems practical and sensible just doesn't seem quite right. It would be practical if someone's boyfriend gave them the money to go pick out the diamond they want as an engagement ring, but how unromantic and untraditional that would be.

So my opinion is that you send any announcements after 12 weeks, although you can certainly tell people close now if you want to. I never sent announcements of the pregnancy. I sent announcements once the baby was born or adoption was finalized (I have both). You could either wait until someone asks if you registered somewhere or else tell one or two close people and leave it up to them to spread the word.

Sometimes the best, most thoughtful, and unique gifts are the ones that someone picked up a shop in Switzerland, a baby boutique in New York city, or at a local church fair where someone personalizes baby items. Usually, you can buy the things you need or want; but the gift someone thinks up on his or her own can be very special. Sure, you may occasionally get something you don't care about, in which case its the thought that counts, but usually the people who know you well and talk with you regularly have a good idea of what you need or like.

I'm sure it may be just me, but I always found that the experience of having (or adopting) my children was made particularly nicer because there was surprise gifts that someone thought up and that I didn't sign up for. There's just something about opening the gift that someone thought so carefully about and that is a complete surprise that's nicer than opening one of a number of expected gifts and checking off a list one made.

Anyway, that's my take on etiquette. People all think so differently. Its what makes life interesting.

Answer 5

I'm sure you have made some friends and they may give you a shower. If you have friends close enough to give you a shower, they will also know where you are registered and will write that on the invitation. Your family may even give you a shower if you plan on visiting them anytime in the next nine months, but don't worry about that now. Unless you are destitute, you'll have the essentials. Babies really don't NEED much.
Don't obsess about the gifts, depending on others for gifts is not what you need to be concentrating on. Just eat right, exercise and take care of that life inside you. Now there's the best gift anyone can give to the baby, a healthy start.

Answer 6

After you find out what the gender of your baby will be, send out an announcement letting your friends and family know. On the bottom of the annoucement write where you are registered. If you do not plan to find out the gender of the baby then just send out a "Pregnancy Annoucement" with the same info and for people's well wishes for a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery.

Answer 7

can't help you with the registry part but my wife and and i did pregnancy announcements. We waited till we knew the sex though and came up with the name 100%. So they went out like week 20 or so most people knew already but it was still nice. We got some paper that had pink foot prints (had a girl) and we just typed them up at home with our name our expected due date and her name. Everyone loved them and called to congratulate us. Then we did birth announcements after she was born with her picture and birth info date/weight/length. we got some homemade one from Target.

I have know people in your situation and a family member usually throws a shower at home very early in your pregnancy so you can still travel and you just go home for a weekend.

PS I live over 2,000 miles away from my family so I understand how you feel

Answer 8

Are you wanting to send out announcements that you ARE pregnant? Then go ahead and do that, but do not include anything about your registry. If your family knows where you are registered, they will likely spread the word. People may call you direct with a congrats, and if they ASK, then it is appropriate to tell them where you registered. Congrats~

Answer 9

It would be inappropriate to send an announcement that you are expecting, or to let people know where you are registered. I know that your first pregnancy is exciting and you want to share it with friends and family. But it would be rude to state boldly that you are registered, as it implies that you EXPECT a gift. If people wish to buy you a gift, it would be more proper to wait until they solicit this information from you or from your family. If they are really good friends, they will want to know, and they will ask. Don't worry, women love to buy gifts for new babies, and most are practical enough to ask about registries so their gift is one that is needed as well as appreciated. Best Wishes!!

Answer 10

Do you belong to a local church? Maybe someone there could help you. I see no problem with passing out announcements after the birth with a card mentioning where you are registered. How ever if you wait until after there will be things you need right away and you will have to try to get those before hand

Answer 11

If your family likes sending gifts then you will need to do nothing and you will get them. Anything else you do will be begging for gifts. You can talk to your Mom and let her know where you are registered and she can let family and friends know. Do not send anything out it will be rude.