What is verbal abuse?

Question

The answers that I have seen so far on this site have not addressed one thing. What if the verbal abuse stems from the fact that the person receiving the abuse has done something to warrant it? I am certain most responses will say that verbal abuse is never warranted, but if so, then someone who does something (repeatedly) hurtful, bad, stupid etc, faces no real consequence, other than saying, "you hurt me", etc. This would only allow the other person to continue behaving in an uacceptable way.

I guess what I am asking is, what consequences does someone face for doing or saying something hurtfull, mean, stupid, etc.

Thanks.

Answer 1

The person committing the offense should be told calmly and rationally what they are doing wrong, and given a consequence if the behavior does not stop. The person on the receiving end (in this case, the "verbal abuser") has no right to attack verbally, that makes him/her no better than the offender. I suspect you are the "abuser" and your significant other is the "offender". If you feel you must attack this person verbally because of continued bad or wrong behavior, you have a choice to make. Either get out of the relationship, or put up with the offense. No matter if it is repeated 1,000 times, you still have no right to abuse. Ball's in your court now to decide what to do. Good luck!

Answer 2

OK are we talking about a significant other? Because if that is that case then some means of actions are in order for consequences. But I think that any kinda of abuse; including verbal is completely and utterly wrong, and that should not be the onsequences. So I believe that if you or the other person has done something wrong then you should talk about it in a oderly fashion. If it is something really big and you are afraid of what you or the other is going to say, in terms of abuse; then why are you with a person whom you cant talk to, or whom you can talk to but are afraid of what they will say or do. And if you dont know if it is verbal abuse or not......Well in my opinion if you are being put down in anyway, in anything that you do, then that would be considered abuse. I have seen relationships where one person was verbaly abuseing the other and the one recieving it didnt even realize that is what was going on. No matter how bad you screw up no one, NO ONE, should be accepting someone hurting them emotionally. Sometimes it can break you down more then phyiscal abuse can, becuase it messes with your head. If you are then you need to seriously reconsider the kind of relationship you have.

Answer 3

From my experiance, verbal abuse is generally insulting, belittling type of language, like "can't you ever get that right " or "don't be stupid", or "you ugly cow, get off your butt and make me a sandwich" alone are not terribly abusive but if said on a regular basis, can be psychologically devastaing. Of course some people will just use this term for an excuse when you don't see eye to eye and feel this is a sympathetic way to control a situation, much like trumped up sexual harrasment charges.

If you think about it, all one faces ultimately, is ones own sense of honor and/or a rethinking of your personal ethics. Being quick at the lip is still not against the law.

Now quit your whining stupid !

Answer 4

If someone has done something then I would say the "fussing" peroid should not last for an extended peroid of time with degrading words. It is difficult to get the point across with only saying you hurt m but abuse is usually about wanting control of the situation or wanting to have the upper hand in things. Try not to yell and insted of doing the confonting or the talking standing up try it sitting down. Usually the person or persons standing want the control of the situation with both parties sitting down it can then reduce the level of anger which then reduces the possibility of verbal abuse.

Answer 5

Ok. Statements like yours' just plain makes me feel pissed. You're right about one thing.... no type of abuse including verbal is ever warranted. There is a big difference between doing and or saying mean,hurtful things and doing something"stupid"! Did your parents verbally abuse you when you did "stupid" things? I can't imagine what happened when you used to dump in your diaper. GET SOME HELP !! Leave your partner alone.

Answer 6

Living alone for the rest of their life unless they get their act together. Abusers don't change, just their tactics. They make you think you are going crazy, and imagining things, you have low self esteem and wonder if you really can make it out in the world by yourself, they bad mouth you by calling you stupid, lazy, no common sense or logic, etc. They don't praise you or appreciate you. When you confront them about their behavior they say you have the problem and that they are perfect.
So the consequence is they live by themselves and look after themselves and hopefully no one comes along and feels sorry for them, cause they really deserve to be alone for the anguish they have caused another person.
The receiver of the actions also loses love and respect for their significant other and eventually loses hope and self worth of the realtionship.
If you are in this type of relationship you need to get out, and get counscelling for yourself and your children if you have any. Make sure you have a supportive group of friends you can turn to. It makes all the difference. Good Luck.

Answer 7

If someone keeps doing something hurtful, mean or stupid to you then get the hell away from them. Drop them from your life....quit allowing yourself to stay in a situation like that. From what you're saying it sounds as though you are trying to rationalize your verbal abuse towards another because of their actions you don't agree with....Like I said, get them out of your life so you don't have to put up with their stupid behaviour and you don't have to be verbally abusing them all the time.

Answer 8

If someone is abusing you by doing hurtful things, stay away from them. Nobody needs to put up with that garbage. Don't subject yourself to such abuse.

Answer 9

just the way u give in bad the same way it gets back to U

Answer 10

JUST LISTENING TO YOUR QUESTION MAKES ME WANT TO ABUSE YOU..