Should I date someone that is trying to overcome their drug problem?

Question

I live in the same apartment building with the guy I'm dating. I am a single mother of 2 young children who works in the medical field. This guy is also a parent to a young child and is a very nice man and an awesome father. I really like him, but he has been battling with drugs for the past year and he really wants to straighten up. I help him out all the time I cook for him and go to meeting with him and we hang out all the time and I really enjoy his company, but a part of me is kind of scared. What should I do? What would you do?

Answer 1

you need to think about you and your children first. it is possible for a someone to overcome their drug addiction BUT what you need to know is there is always a possibility of a relapse, it's part of recovery.
take your time, you don't have to rush things. the best thing you to do is sit, wait and watch. make sure that getting clean is something that is a priority to him. a lot of addicts talk about it but don't do too much about it. going to meetings with him is a good idea if you want to have a relationship with this guy b/c it shows that you are being supportive of him and his recovery.
just be cautious for the sake of your children. you wouldn't want to get involved with this man only to have him later expose your children to a dangerous lifestyle if he's not really serious about getting and staying sober.
only you can make this decision but really think about it. good luck!

Answer 2

You should follow your instincts on this. He is a drug abuser. What happens if you date him and he starts using again? How will that affect your children? I would keep it just friends for now until he has been clean a long time. You dont say how he is getting cleaned up, is he going to counseling?AL ANON ? Or is he trying to do it on his own? It is good that you are going to meeting with him, but if you are at the meeting you need to listen to what the others are saying. How many times have they fallen off the wagon? It is admirable that you are trying to help him but you need to remember that your first responsibility if ti your children and yourself. Stay friends for a while and see how he does. If he does good you can always take it to the next level but if you start dating now and then it doesnt work out it may be harder on both of you, especially if he starts using again.

Answer 3

No way. When he's been clean for a year, then you can gratefully let him into your heart. Of course he's nice. People with addictions are nice people who make poor decisions. You helping him is great, you enjoying his company is great. But you cannot get emotionally involved with someone until they are ready. it takes a very long time to 'recover' from drug addiction, many relapses, many traumas to sort through, and sometimes, people get emotionally stunted. Be kind, be helpful, be patient, but don't hang your romantic hopes on such a fragile star. And if looking at it that way doesn't help, think about your babies, and what you might expose them to.

Answer 4

You should be scared. As nice as he may be and as much as you enjoy his company, as long as he is actively battling his addiction to drugs he is an "unsafe" person with whom to develop a relationship.

This may sound harsh and insensitive but I have personal experince with drug addicts in active addiction and I am just trying to save you from a world of pain.... and not just you but your children as well.

I'm not saying he is no good or that things won't ever change but until he is working a program to handle his addiction you should steer clear.

Answer 5

Wow you're quite youthful to be dealing with this. you're saying forgetting about him is out of the question so even although i imagine you're quite youthful to adhere your self with this i'm now unlikely to live on that. My husband turned right into a drug and alcohol counselor. He also has been a juvenile worker. i recognize from talking to him that maximum ppl who're addicted to drugs relapse about 5 cases before staying sparkling. also a large project for ppl is at the same time as they get out of rehab they bypass homestead and are positioned properly again into an similar project they were in that were given them into issues contained in the first position. which contain pals and sometimes family individuals. the position is he getting the drugs? at the same time as he comes homestead he needs to circumvent those ppl and places. communicate over with him about what triggers his want for drugs and help him circumvent those issues. At his age that's plausible rehab ought to artwork the first time. It relies upon a lot on how lengthy he's been utilising. maximum in all probability he will warfare with this for decades if no longer continuously. that's critical for him to in no way provide up attempting to get sparkling. Remind him that you're on his section and attempting to assist him. do not enable him communicate you into doing the drugs with him or assisting him get them. that couldn't help him. He ought to objective to cajole you that once you're on his section you'll do those issues. that's his dependancy speaking. you recognize extra appropriate and he will want you to be reliable for him.

Answer 6

ask yourself how much you like this guy i would say definately because he needs all the support he can get and if you are something that helps him stay clean then yes im an ex addict myself and i know i needed support or else i wouldnt have done it

Answer 7

The ANswer is NO

we you can be his friend and talk to him about it and stuff... but don't date, because mabye he'll never get rid of it!

Answer 8

JUST PRAY ON IT AND THE LORD WILL LET YOU KNOW TO GO OR STAY. BUT IF HE WILL NOT CHANGE YOU HAVE TO LOOK OUT FOR YOUR KID'S THE NEED YOU MORE.

Answer 9

i would stay friends with him until there is no problem