For the last few weeks, it seems as if everything I say to my girlfriend is totally wrong. I feel so much anxiety now, and i'm not sure how to proceed. An example is what happened last night. She wasn't feeling well; my exact words were "It’s strange how lately you have been feeling that way, have you done anything different?" Immediately she becomes upset and accuses me of calling her "strange". How should I approach this situation? Please help!
2006-09-07 06:37:37 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know your pain !
2006-09-07 06:38:33 · answer #1 · answered by Freak Nasty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you tried being supportive and understanding, but it didn't work.
I think that next time that she has an outburst like this, you would be more than justified in standing up for yourself and explain to her, in a CALM tone of voice, that you are only trying to help and that she has NO RIGHT to snap at you like this. Take a stand like an adult, and calmly demand that she either explain to you what's wrong, or else you are not going to see her again until she calms down and starts treating you and your feelings with some respect.
If you do not respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself, then do not expect her to respect you either.
I'm not talking about being mean, or yelling, or calling each other names, or any of that childish stuff (even if she is, you do not have to act like her). I'm talking about being assertive, and demanding that she respect your feelings (by explaining to you what is wrong -- or at least explaining that she can't discuss it right now), while keeping your COOL. There is no reason to lose your temper, but there is no need to grovel at her feet, either. You are a person too, and she should be reminded to treat you like one.
If even this does not make her respect you, then find a new girlfriend. You can do better. Be a man and not a wimp -- unless you enjoy being yelled at for the rest of your life..
2006-09-07 06:50:40 · answer #2 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you sat her down & really talked to her to find out what's going on? Or, could you without causing another argument...she's just extremely sensitive right now & there must be a reason for it...is something going on in her life that is causing her lots of stress? Possibly troubles at work or with family?
Just seems like you're the one taking the brunt of her anger, which is NOT a good thing. Maybe go out to dinner and approach the topic of her behavior lately..don't attack her, simply ask what's going on..
Good luck, Marilyn
2006-09-07 06:40:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all it sounds like you need Anxiety medication. Second plan to sit down with her and have a conversation over a long dinner with just you and her. But take time to think of everything that you want to say before you say it. If she starts to get mad and fires off at you don't fire back but simply ask her "honey did i do something wrong?" Then ask her to "Please sit down and finish the conversation with you and tell her that nothing will ever be solved without proper communication." And third if none of this works then she does have problems and i suggest you leave her.
2006-09-07 06:43:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you tried to choose your words, but it was not careful enough. This girl is unsure of this relationship, and is be looking for a way out. But you can't be accusatory, or even hint that something is 'wrong", or 'strange". She'll take it out of context and throw it back at you. Then use the "'always arguing" excuse for breaking up.
Instead, maybe you can just tell her how you feel about her; the positive things.
Or, she may be a drama queen, and just likes to see you squirm!
2006-09-07 06:45:35 · answer #5 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When girls start picking fights about every little thing it's a sign that she may not be intersted anymore. Either that or she's hiding something from you and it's stressing her out. She just wants to make you miserable enough to leave. That way she won't really feel "responsible" for the break up. Tell her to cut the crap or hit the bricks.
2006-09-07 06:44:56 · answer #6 · answered by lovenice 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Typical moody woman lol............tons of em in the world you just have to learn to get around that when something's bothering them. She oculd be sick or she could be under a lot of stress. Just dont say anything at all..........approach her while she's relaxing or something, give her a shoulder/back massage, VERY gently, and just try to ease her to the point where she smiles. Make dinner, clean up around the house........run a bubble bath for her...........it's a bit harder to strike an argument when you dont say anything at all. Just try to make a night all about her.......and see what happens. Dont push yourself onto her or anything.......or even try to make things sexual in any way really........just let her relax and have a nice night. Surely later on she'll feel much better and probably apologize for acting so harshly for no reason.
2006-09-07 06:41:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My first impression is for you to run like heII. You should never feel like this in a relationship. All good things are worth working for but only to a certain extent. If you have been together for a long time and you think it is worth it, I would simply call her out on it and see what she says. Is it because she is unhappy with you? herself? or something completely different. If you two haven't always been like this than something is probably up.
2006-09-07 06:42:43 · answer #8 · answered by mildmanneredclarkkent64 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From the way it sounds, is like she has done something and is seriously guilty as hell about it. Only way to keep you off track is by making fuss over small things to keep you from finding out what the real issue. But my advice is to tell her out right if she is going to make complaints about everything you aren't going to stick around for it anymore. Because the more anxiety that you feel you are only hurting yourself more.
2006-09-07 06:41:42 · answer #9 · answered by Bloody Kisses 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just Agree With Everything And IfAsked For Advice, Just Say "Whatever Makes You Happy"
2006-09-07 06:39:19 · answer #10 · answered by Spaghetti MY 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get her some flowers and give them to her asking her that if she's going through a tough time if there's anything you can do. Then tell her maybe you guys need a breather and stay away from each other for awhile. She should tell you what's going on once she sees your sincere.
No need for both of you to blow things out of proportion.
Good luck !
2006-09-07 07:22:50 · answer #11 · answered by This, That & such 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋