Pregnant Teen?

Question

I was just wondering why people have such an issue with girls 15+ having children? I have a lot of young mothers as friends and they don't live with their parents or live off the government. I also noticed that young pregnancies are a lot more common and accepted in the south-western states...any opinions on that? I was just very curious because really if it doesn’t affect you why do people care? Why do young mothers get looks as if they have done something incredibly wrong? Why are they taken pity on even if they did want the pregnancy? Why are they considered sluts? And last but not least...why are they automatically considered bad parents?
Thanks for your insight!
-Lindsey-

I would like to add I am a "teenage parent" I am very responsible. I do not live off the government or my parents. My husband is in the Air Force and we have a very stable home. We got married when I was 17. I moved out of my parents house when I was 16 years old...graduated a year early from high school (Dec. 2003) and have a Certificate in Phlebotomy. I don't work though I could and make good money. I also attend online college courses and am hoping to get my associates degree soon. My parents weren't hippies either. I was brought up in a very strict military household. I think I turned out just fine. I have no doubt in my mind my son (6 months) will turn out great! I do respect your opinions but I just want you guys to open your eyes and see that not everything can be stereotyped as quickly as we tend to do. God Bless!

Answer 1

I get what you are saying...I had my first baby at 16 (and have only slept with 2 men my entire life, so no, I don't think that qualifies as being a slut)- and was married at 16 (and 8 years later, we are still married) and have never been on gov. assistance.- my husband was 18 and in the service. For the person who said that having a baby at a young age deprives them of an emotionally mature parent(s)--not always true. I have always been mature for my age and am still more mature than some people twice my age. I had enough sense and smarts to graduate high school at the top of my class and even went to college and have a 4.0 GPA. Even though my husband and I had our kids at an early age, we have done just fine for ourselves.

Answer 2

I think that there is too little of girls out there that are responsible and can just get up and take care of a family at such a young age. On the other hand there is so many Little girls who do get pregnant live off the govnt and don't do anything with there lives drop out of school and work at a horrible for there whole life. I'm 19 and having a little boy i work from 8-5 Mon-Fri and do online schooling at night which cost 22,000 and it's really hard i think people would rather just take the easy way out. And i am one of those people who look at girls like what was you thinking but then again i know some who are absolutely horrible mothers.

Answer 3

I had my daughter when I was 16 and never lived off of the government, either. I married the baby's father when we were 18 and are still married now, with a beautiful son. We both went to school, graduated, and held down full time jobs. My husband's in the Marines now, and we're in the process of buying our first house. We're now 21 and I'm proud of what we've accomplished together. I don't think there are many teenagers that want or try to get pregnant, but sometimes it happens. My mom was 46 when she had my brother (not planned, by the way) and nobody said that she was too old. People look down on teen parents because they don't realize how much we have to go through to make it. Purely Venus need not be so b****y about things she knows nothing about.

Answer 4

Because most teens don't have a clue yet about themselves, let alone how to properly raise a kid. Heck, most college students don't have a clue until at least junior year.

At the time you don't realize it, but as you look back, you really do see the difference.

Also, as a teen having a child, you would really miss out on living life as a teen/young adult. Why deprive yourself of such joy. Teens have plenty of time to have kids after that!

Additionally, some teens that have kids at a young age, eventually do ask some of these questions and sometimes project their resentment of not being able to experience their childhood, onto their children which is not good for the parent or the child.

Answer 5

I have asked my self this time and time again. I got pregnant at 16 and again at 19 my kids are now 6 and 4 they are very well behaved and polite and do well in school and im incredably proud of them and us as so far i believe we have done a good job. We have never claimed a penny off the government and have bought our own home and yet some people some turn there nose up sometimes i just can't win but i honetly don't care any more i don't regret having my children young if i could do it all again i would not change a thing. Me and my partner (yes my childrens biological father)have been together for 8 years in october and i love him and my children more and more every day. For those of you who say i haven't and won't do something produtive with my life make me laugh. Does life end when you have children? ours hasn't anyone who has an 'issue' with it can sod off

Answer 6

Because there's no way for a teenager to know what life is really about. They just haven't lived enough life to have that experience. Sure there are teens that have been thrown into a position where they've had to grow up and take care of themselves, but they don't have the capability to predict outcomes of actions. Only experience can teach you that. As for teens having children... it's an ugly roller coaster that will keep repeating itself. Why would a teen want to be a mother at this age? Sometimes they don't feel loved and want to have someone that loves them unconditionally and think they will get that from a baby. But what kind of quality life can they offer a child if they don't have a solid education, proper morals & ethics, what could you teach that child?
I guarantee that if you talk to these teens much later in life, they will look back and say that they were too young and too inexperienced to have started raising children so young.

Answer 7

I think it's hard for people in what I consider an "older generation" to accept teenage pregnancy - or unwed pregnancy in general. (I'm 30).

It's fear of the unknown or fear of the unnormal. I can completely understand exactly what you are saying. I got pregnant at 17 (moved out of my parents home shortly thereafter) - and I got married at 18 (IL state law). My parents were very strict also - and although they were upset with the situation, they were very supportive of the situation. My son's father and I married when he was 3 months old. Keith and I are still married and now have 4 beautiful children together (14 years later) - But it was tough. I really think that if people or society in general were a little more supportive of teenage mothers (not to say that teens should be going out having sex and getting pregnant - but it's life, and it happens.) and gave them a pat on the back for trying, not scowls and nasty looks for being in that "predicament" to begin with, it would make them a little more at ease and make them want to go forth and make something more of their lives.

Answer 8

I'm an almost 20 year old mother one 1 6 month old little boy. I got some of the nastiest looks when I was pregnant, because people assumed that because I wasn't wearing a wedding ring, that I wasn't married.

It couldn't just be my fingers were so freakin swelled I couldn't wear it, and had been wearing it on a chain and lost it could it?

People in today's society assume so much and it causes a lot of unfair stereotypes.

Since there are some teen moms on medicaid, welfare, WIC, food stamps and FSM knows what else, it makes those who are not look bad. I don't have anything against using the system IF you need it, but I knew a girl who dropped off her parents insurance when she got pregnant and lied to apply for medicaid just so she wouldn't have to come up with the $20 copay at her doctor visits. People like her are the reason so many people have a problem with teens having babies.

I was married for two years before I had a baby, and my husband was making good money, until he lost his job, and wouldn't you know it, we quit TTC when he lost his job, but I had gotten pregnant already. So, I did use medicaid and WIC, and we both worked at a fast food resteraunt while I was pregnant, him working overtime and me working at much as my swelled up feet would let me, because we hated having to use the state to pay for a child that we created.

Soon my husband found a job making $10/hr plus comission and I got to quit work when I had my son. We live in an area that has a low cost of living so we're buying a 3br 1ba house for $250/mo(if we get approved for the loan) and it's going great. We're no longer on public assistance and my son has wonderful health insurance that only costs us $80/mo for my DH and my son.

Answer 9

I think that if you were to look at the AVERAGES, teen and young parents are at a disadvantage, and a high percentage became parents by accident. I was technically a teen parent (19) though I had a higher advantage than a girl who was 15, I was still plagued by lack of readiness. But to get back on the point.... It's more a game of percentages, you and the women you know are exception to the rule! Most teen parents are generally making a poor choice for themselves and the children by not waiting until after they get married, have jobs, and their own places.

Answer 10

There was a time in American culture that women were married very young and so had children very young. That was acceptable behavior back then. What has happened is the "women's movement" Women wanted to be treated like men and so now have to work and have an education to get a good career. The whole culture has changed and people look at young mothers poorly because they automatically assume that they will not have an education and don't have the proper maturity to raise a child. These thoughts are totally ridiculous and to be quite honest, the liberals have ruined it for all women who do want to be married young and have children young. Now a days you need 2 incomes to make it. It wasn't this way in our Grandparents day.