~*The closer to the time to the 'day', he is getting on my NERVES, how do I avoid him & continue plans*~

Question

I think it is just jitters, but he is working every last nerve and if I stay around him to long, I'm gonna hit him over the head with something. When he's not around and I don't talk to him as much, it is easier for me to focus. But then he'll come up and say something crazy (really new behavior) and then it's on again.
~~Love him to bits and pieces, I just need a minute to focus, how do I do that and not alienate him from what is going on?

Answer 1

I remember that with my husband!
There I was all nervous and high strung about having everything perfect, making sure everything was taken care of, trying to get all the cleaning done so we could leave a clean house behind on our honeymoon, etc...
There he was being a royal pain and not contributing to anything useful. Several times I kicked him out and sent him to a friends or his parents house for a few hours or even overnight.

I hope you have better luck controlling your jitters than I did. So 8 years later now, I've learned than when he isn't being productive to what I am trying to do, it's better to either give him a list of specific tasks, or get him out of my way (this is usually what I end up doing anyway.)

I hate to say it, but women usually have a specific idea about what and how we want things done, so men just can't do it to please us 100%. Sometimes it's better to let them off the hook.
When I know it's something easy or not too detailed, I can give my husband a short list of things to do. He gets them done, he's out from under my feet, out of my hair, and off of my nerves. It also saves me time later because I didn't have to do as much myself.

Answer 2

By telling him how you feel and being honest with your fiancé. You are supposed to be marrying this guy. How are you going to handle life altering changes with him if you can't even tell him to back up because you need some space or to calm down, right now we are clashing. Tell him in a nice way but don't sugar coat. These jitters might be just that...jitters. Or this is a sign that the upcoming nuptials need to be put on hold until you and him come together and get to the "meat and potatoes" of the problem. I've been married for 4 years and without communication, it could've been one expensive divorce and I would have been out of my best friend who I discover new things about everyday. From good to bad & my finest moments, we talk about everything. Do the same, you never know that that behavior could be you finding an excuse to find fault with him before your day or it's something that really needs to be put pushed of the top of your wedding preparations.

Answer 3

LOL! I hear exactly what you are saying! My fiance gets on my nerves easily too and I think it's really US and not THEM. Truly, I think we are just overwhelmed and busy and stressed and every last silly or annoying thing they say or do just drives us nuts.

I find if I take a minute, take a deep breath and just kind of ignore some of those annoying behaviors it is a lot easier to deal with!

I love my fiance to pieces too! And it makes me so sad when I get angry over the stupid things!!!

Good luck - I'm sure it'll get better :)

Answer 4

Just tell him how you feel! I remember distinctly that, at that time, I felt completely useless so the more I was asked to stay away, the better I felt! ;-)