I'm getting married and there are certain family members who just want to create drama and mess with our happiness. What is it really that causes this, insecurity?
2006-09-07 05:55:51 · 24 answers · asked by fhussain999 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
their own insecurity. Definitely. And on top of it, their also probably jealous.
2006-09-07 05:57:13 · answer #1 · answered by justcurious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been married (and divorced), I know what you're talking about. Some of those sabotaging in-laws might be jealous. Others might be resentful that their sister or brother is marrying you, an ordinary person, instead of someone who is really WORTHY of marrying into their family, such as a deity.
But the most common reason, I think, is to get established what the social pecking order is going to be. By hurting your feelings and getting away with it, they put you beneath them. So whenever in later years your wishes are contrary to theirs, you'll be more inclined to give in and let them have their way.
Having learned my lesson on my first matrimonial go-round about the difficulties that in-laws can cause, I terminated a later relationship with another woman when, it turned out, her mother was a moralistic shrew and an authoritarian control-freak who had her 32-year-old daughter still tied to her apron strings. In all other respects, my GF had been wonderful - but never again will I marry into a family that's going to cause me trouble.
Beware, then: when you marry somebody, you also marry their families. You make love with a spouse; but you can get screwed by your in-laws. Is the whole package worth to you what it's going to cost?
2006-09-07 06:02:32 · answer #2 · answered by David S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weddings are a crisis right and unfortunately there are always some in every family that take it to stage their own stupid dramas and forget that it should be a happy day for the happy couple and that is why they are all there for.
Trust me I know - my in-laws did not even show for our wedding.....
But - it was a great wedding and you just have to hold on to the reason for that day - just gaze in your grooms eyes and tell everybody else in your family that you love them dearly and that you know that they want to make this a very happy day for you too ;) Just kill them with kindness, don't get ropped into the drama. Refuse to pick sides, it always backfires.
It is like in that song "I hope you dance"
"...don't let some helping heart leave you bitter"
Don't get upset, feel sorry for them.
Best of luck
2006-09-07 06:25:25 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so glad that it isn't just me that had that problem. It is caused from them thinking you are taking something away from them. Whatever you do don't let them get to you. Mother-in-laws for example never think that you are good enough for THEIR child so they try to sabotage. Mine did. If the drama gets to bad you need to have a discussion with your soon to be spouse and really decide what part this relative or realtives will play in your wedding. My husband told his mother that if she couldn't accept me and be grown up about things then she didn't need to be a part of it. That changed things quickly. Listen it could be worse for you I am sure, my mother-in-law faked a seizure because noone was paying attention to HER. Can you imagine. It will all work out and things will be perfect for your day. Congrats.
2006-09-07 06:03:31 · answer #4 · answered by hounchella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some people that's what makes them happy. They just cant stand it if there not raising some kind of hell about something or with someone. I have family like that also and it sucks! The only conclusion I could ever come to was, There are just some people who would rather Fight than F--ck !! I honestly think that to!
2006-09-07 06:06:46 · answer #5 · answered by noname 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure they aren't doing it for a good reason ? I would say I created some drama when my sister was getting married. You know why ? Not because I was jealous or insecure but because I thought she could do much better. Maybe its just that they have your best interest at heart.
2006-09-07 05:58:48 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had this complicated in the previous. My brother and that i went out to a bar, and he became into attempting to tell me to pass confer with this female on the bar. once I responded with "Yea maximum suitable, she's way too warm for me." I have been given a 'extreme-high quality' awakening. there is no such undertaking as too sturdy or no longer sturdy adequate for a individual. If he declines relationship somebody because of the fact they don't seem to be sturdy looking adequate, than he's valueless. I comprehend that a individual must be bodily drawn to a distinctive, yet to flat out reject a individual with out understanding them... it is sickening. you do no longer care some individual because of the fact they are beautiful, they are beautiful because of the fact which you care approximately them. sturdy luck!
2016-10-14 10:23:07 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Envy!
Have you ever heard of the psychology 101 term "penis envy"?
Well it does not necessarily deals with the human anatomy but moreso of the literal meaning of being envious of someone else.
I have some similar family members and they have never sincerely give my family respect and praise for our hard-earned accomplishments and achievements. I have never had the blessings of my own parents at my wedding (they were not present) because they had someone else for me to marry. I insisted I am marrying the person I love not who they like me to. Next month I will be married for 19 years to a great person and we have 3 great kids!
We came a long way during times when we needed family support and backings but no one came to our aid. We struggled and kept our faith in God and by His Grace we are in a good situation today. We don't depend on anyone for anything.
The point I am trying to make is that, some people look at others' happiness and because of envy they want to make that person miserable. Ever heard the term 'crabs in a barrel'? Well if you ever literally observed crabs in a barrel you would see none gets to the top because there is always one below clawing at the one above to get ahead! Thsi is reality dear and the best way to cope with it is to follow your heart and go with your instincts. The best reward is when you are succeeding when others expect you to fail...expecially rewarding when they are family too!
Their envy and jealousy is the fuel for your strength and courage to succeed..go with it and rise above their insecure selfishness.
Good luck in your married life :)
2006-09-07 05:57:53 · answer #8 · answered by CATHOLIC PRIEST!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup. Everytime someone gets married that I know of, this happens, to some degree. Insecurity, jealousy, you name it. Just remember your marriage isn't tied up in one day, it's the beginning of a journey :)
2006-09-07 05:58:28 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has little to do with you. Drama queens are all about themselves. A wedding is a huge, well organized, expensive occasion. If you want attention (even bad is good for these b*stards) you don't have to do much to get it. Lose their invitation.
2006-09-07 05:59:57 · answer #10 · answered by morrowynd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is so sad when it happens. Before my wedding, I had one of my older sisters do all this drama stuff before a wedding shower, with an ultimatum on the phone to me that she wouldn't come to the shower or to the wedding. I hung up on her. Unfortunately, she came anyway. It's jealousy.
2006-09-07 10:12:51 · answer #11 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋