Can you be too nice to someone?

Question

If you treat someone super well, can it scare them, or otherwise make them leave?
Should a tiny bit of meanness always be mixed in, or not?

Answer 1

Yes and no, it really depend on what kind of approach you decide to be with him/her in a relationship.

In order for a relationship to be fruitful to both parties, there has to be a common ground for each person to adhere to; such as being respectful, courteous, patience, etc. Most people knows this, however what they fail to realize is that this must be done both ways; not just a one way street.

Some believe love conquers all, this is true if you are given with infinite time, resources & patience; but if you are like the rest of us that walks on earth, you'll know we are all running on half-empty gas tanks on sunset blvd.

Being super nice and overwhelm them with compliments and gift will spoils the nicest girl/boy in your dream, because they learn in time that you'll forgive whatever they do to you; and that's not the kind of epiphany you want them to have in a relationship.

You shouldn't be mean or throw a few curve ball intentionally every now and then in your relationship too, that's just gonna complicate matters worse. You woudn't want your partner to be moody every once in the while too, right?

Just be honest and sincere when being with your other half, treat them nice but never spoil them. A good gentleman / lady knows where to draw the line for the relationship to stay healthy, an overdose of flattery or abuse will drive you over the edge without giving you the warning signal.

Answer 2

Yes, treating someone "super well" can scare them off, or give them the idea that you live for them.

But the contrast you're looking for isn't meanness, but reciprocity.

Golden-oldie had a good point, too.

Depends on exactly what you mean by "too nice." Don't do things "for them" that they don't want, and don't overdo. Overall, things should be equal in the relationship. So let the other do nice things for you, too.

Don't always agree with them or go along with them out of a mistaken idea of "being nice" but express yourself and your likes and wants, too.

As with about 98% of these questions, you haven't given us the information we need to know what you're talking about or what is going on.

But meanness? No. Never. Bad idea.

Answer 3

Well no, never meanness. But just be casual about things, don't always rush to do things for ppl or always be so quick to compliment them. Because some ppl think you are just sucking up to them. And would normally walk all over you. I have someone that is always being overly nice and now he is saying that "I" never treat him special like he did me. But its not my fault, when I never asked him to be that way. And that was just an example btw. So just be somewhat nice to ppl and don't expect too much back, cuz you will always get hurt in the end if you expect way too much.

Answer 4

Yes, but that's only to people who haven't really experienced genuine respect and friendship. They may be used to the short end of the stick and not trust someone who comes on strong.

The best way to handle that is to continue to be yourself. If you're truly just a nice person, there is nothing wrong with being you. If someone can't appreciate that, you don't need them in your life. It's their loss.

See, someone who really wants a nice person in their life will let go whatever issues they had and reach out to trust you and let you in. If they can't do that after so long, it's best to move on, whether you're dealing with a friendship or a romantic relationship.

Answer 5

yes, being too nice may scare someone away, it may make them think you are simply a doormat, or they may be the kind of person that likes excitement, and little bit of a challenge. it all depend on the person. but whatever you do, don't be sweet than all of a sudden mean, they could assume you're bipolar, which isn't good either

Answer 6

No usually nice is good silly. Just make sure you let them know that you know what is good for you, some people try to fxxk you over when your too nice. Let it be known you have a kind heart but you won't be treated badly.

Answer 7

Yes. You can be nice but be careful not to turn into a doormat. And guys will take you for granted if you are too nice so try not to be so accessible to them.

Answer 8

I don't think you have to throw in meanness but don't be nice to the point you are doing things you don't want to do , just so you can be nice. Also don't be nice to the point you can't maintain that niceness long term.

Answer 9

No! Never meanness! Just a bit of nonchalance. Don't try so hard, it makes you seem needy and that's usually a turn off.

Answer 10

To me...I think it is not a gud idea to add meanness even abit.......eventhough they did not treat u as a friend.....u must not hurt them again by doing a little meannes...it is not a gud way......