Due to a very rough pregnancy I had to take a whole nine months off from work. Thankfully my job held my position for me and I am scheduled to return back to work in a few weeks, when my daughter turns 12 weeks. My fiancee doesn't want me to go back he says "She's to young and she needs her mother" and that I'm selfish. I just have a hard time letting him be financially responsible for my expenses. Also giving up my benefits (health, dental etc...) What should I do?
2006-09-07 05:09:36 · 20 answers · asked by RHEA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Do what you think is best for your family! It is not selfish to want to contribute your income and have your own benefits! Many mothers return to work and lead independent lives but still love their familiy! It's up to you whether you want to return to work. Maybe you should just talk it out with your mate and just explain that you really want to go back to work and that it'll be good for the family...
Just because you're not there every second for your daughter, doesn't mean you're a bad mother. You just want some independence and that's a good thing!
2006-09-07 05:12:53 · answer #1 · answered by kisme86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men like to feel like they are "the man" of the houshold. Some want to feel as though they can take care of the family without the woman having to hold down a career. However, it sounds like he is a good man, since he is willingly proposing the idea of you staying home from work. I know women who would kill for that opportunity. However, I do understand that you may want to have your own money, own life(employment) and keep your benefits. I do not think you are selfish and it sounds like you should voice your opinion. Most importantly, you should do what is right for your child and what is right financially. If you know you will be struggling if you don't keep your job, then you probably should go back. Pray about it.
2006-09-07 05:19:12 · answer #2 · answered by Grace1908 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not selfish. Look, a child will be a whole lot better off with a mother who is productive, content, and confident than a stay at home who wishes she wasn't there. Your fiancee may think the kid doesn't know. Believe you me, the kid will know big time right away without any question whether mother is satisfied with her life or dissatisfied.
2006-09-07 05:14:27 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing, I went back to work and loved it. I was a better mother because I worked. Looking back I would rather have stayed home.
Second, tell him to go to hell for calling you selfish! How dare he! You have sacraficed 9 months plus however long since the birth, your body has become a foreign land and you delivered HIS child and given up the next 18 years to being mommy.
Third, you have to do what makes you happy which will make you a better mommy. Ask yourself why you want to go to work and using good logic make a decision out of respect for yourself and love for your child.
2006-09-07 05:38:09 · answer #4 · answered by dream girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it an option for you to take your child to work with you... I took my daughter from 3 weeks to 10 months to work with me everyday. I'm not saying do this... It's not selfish of you wanting to return back to work. If your household depends on 2 paychecks, or you need to feel you are contributing to the household finances, than do it.
2006-09-07 05:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by sneakyfker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems everybody agrees with you.
I don't... If he can afford to give you all the benefits without you going back to work, then don't..
As a man I want my wife at home with my kids... and that is because I can give her and my children everything she needs and my childrens needs.
However, it is different for you westerners and very much different from us aseans..
It is up to you..
But. at that 12 weeks,, you think you are strong enough.. here, we do not like our women, wifes specially to work within the next 12 months, after giving birth to ensure their health.. and maybe that is why more asean women live longer that american women.....
2006-09-07 05:35:54 · answer #6 · answered by yulnores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is just a daddy looking out for the baby but you also have to point out to him that there is a extra addition to the family and being finacially stable is a big deal and this days it takes two, convince him that the baby will have all your attention while you are not at work and if anything should happen you will have the phone on so you can be contacted and if nessacary you will go home to be with thebaby
2006-09-07 05:16:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what, millions of woman go back to work after having children and I don't think it is bad that you want to. If you really want to work then you should, you can give your new baby all the love she needs no matter what. They have always said "quality not quantity" is what counts.
2006-09-07 05:14:07 · answer #8 · answered by hounchella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a good nanny and not just some day care center i say go back to work your fiancee does not seem to want to stay home and she needs her daddy too.
2006-09-07 05:12:11 · answer #9 · answered by jusme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
These days it is more out of necessity than desire for both parties in a relationship to have to work.
However, in your case I really believe that you need to be financially independent. You are not married. You have a child.
Don't give up your future to someone else. It should be a shared experience.
2006-09-07 05:37:04 · answer #10 · answered by Ilsa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋