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When feeling depressed and irritable, my aging alzheimer and demented father, who once had a brilliant and beautiful mind, resorts to foul words when his moods swings to low, even when we take him out for R&R. Any practical advice is helpful, thanks.

2006-09-07 01:08:36 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health Mental Health

3 answers

My heart goes out to you for the monumental task of caring for your father who has alzheimer's and is sufferring from dementia.

My 92 year old grandmother, once, a beautiful, immaculate dresser, housekeeper, cook and caregiver, suffers from dementia. She recently broke her hip and has to live with my aunt. Her repetitive questioning, lack of appetite, loss of interest in former activities and excessive sleep, seem to be our main concerns. My aunt worries constantly about the inappropriate comments my grandmother makes in public, her constant repetiveness, questioning, and belching outloud in public without a reply of "excuse me". I try to reconcile my aunt by comparing my grandmother with a toddler. When I can give my aunt support I try to by offering her relief from her 24/7 duties of caregiving. I work two jobs and have recently had surgery myself, so I cannot offer much help now, other than listening, complementing my aunt for her love and care, and thanking her for the wonderful care she gives my grandmother.

I would suggest an assessment by a licensed medical expert if you haven't already done so. Antidepressants perhaps would help control your father's moodswings. I am not a MD or licensed Psychiatrist, so I am not sure if that would be the best course of treatment, nor a cure for the outbursts of profane language. That would have to be decided by a professional. I do think that some demented geriatric patients perhaps previously sufferred from undiagnosed depression or bi-polar illnesses. Maybe they were never diagnosed or treated, and with aging, the inability to care for themselves, their illness manifests, reverting back to early childhood behaviors such as: nervous ticks, swearing, poor appetites, excessive questioning, manipulative behaviors, etc.

How many times have you been thrown into shock when hearing a toddler repeat a word they have heard from TV, a friend, older sibling, or parent? What do you do? Tell them that is inappropriate, apologize to anyone present and move on. Otherwise, they will continue to do it if you laugh, scream or show some overwhelming response to what they have said.

I would suggest the following:

1) Find yourself a support group.
2) Seek out a specialist whose expertice lies with
geriatric/alzheimer patients.
3) Place your father in a facility that deals specifically with this
type patient
4) Seek out a home healthcare agency for your peace of mind
and to help with your father's medical, nutritional and
physical needs.
5) Schedule time into your day for meditation, prayer and
exercise

I can understand how embarrassing when out in public when your father starts using the profane language.There's little you can do to control the outbursts other than remove him from the group he may be with or or away from the situation.
I like to compare geriaric's to the "terrible two's" of childhood development. When toddlers, children or teens make mistakes or are endangering themselves or others, you can make your vocal reprimands, apologize to the parties concerned, remove them from the situation, wait until they calm down and discuss your dissaproval concerning what they did wrong and give them an example of a better, safer or moral way to do it differently. They may listen, or ignore you. Unfortunately, alzheimers patients may not have the cognitive nor mental ability to retain these things.

Geriatric adults, like an infant, toddler, teen or adult may be tired under too much stress, sleepy, hungry or have an unmet physical, mental or cognitive need they can't explain or realize. Therein lies the responsibility of medical professionals, caregivers, adults or parents to figure out at the moment what is wrong. It's a tough situation and a hard job.

Accept the advice of experts. Read and learn as much as you can on the subject of aging, mental illness, dementia and alzheimers.

Most importantly, take care of yourself, find outside support, surround yourself with others who may have had prior experience and love your father while he's here.

The wise and knowledgible public will certainly understand and be sympathetic. The inexperienced and ignorant may stare, comment or act offended. I suspect sometime in their lives, they too will have to deal with a pet, infant, toddler, child, teen or adult that may display inappropriate behavior.
As our population continues to live longer, the public must learn all they can to understand the behaviors of those they work, live with, love and care about..

Until we find a cure for alzheimers, good luck to you and God bless you for caring for your father.

2006-09-07 05:10:07 · answer #1 · answered by worriedmom 2 · 0 0

Behavioral modification works, but if he's suffering from alzheimers and dementia.. then the only advice that I can give you is to not let the swearing bother you. There isn't much that you're going to be able to do about it.

2006-09-07 08:50:56 · answer #2 · answered by Imani 5 · 0 0

Unfortunately the only advise is to understand he is not in control of this and allow him to be who he is right now. I know thats difficult but it is the only thing that will give you peace.

2006-09-07 08:19:26 · answer #3 · answered by aerdna2u 3 · 0 0

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