I'm confused about this girl I'm dating saying she wants a serious relationship?

Question

I have been dating this girl for a little over 3 months. Because we have a “long distance” relationship (about an hours drive one way) we usually only get to see each other on the weekends and she is the one usually driving to my place. I rarely go there, have offered, but she says she doesn’t mind driving. We’ve seen each other pretty much every weekend but there have been a few in between where things have come up. My concern is this. At first we started out slow and casual up until around the second month. Then we had the “talk” recently and she said she felt things were getting serious between us. What is confusing to me is what do girls mean when they say that?

We have not had sex at all but we have been intimate and by that I mean beyond kissing and below the belt stuff but nothing major. Another thing that really confuses me is that when we talk, she doesn’t really seem to have anything to say. I’m usually the one calling her but she rarely seems to ask me any questions. She does ask how my day was and usually ask what I did but there really is no “small talk” on her part. It’s usually me trying to keep the conversation going by asking her questions. Once she gets going she talks but it seems to me like I’m always doing the work. We usually talk via messenger during the day as well and she does sometimes initiate those conversations so it doesn’t seem like she doesn’t want to talk??.....

She also has recently given me a very nice and personal present because I had a b-day recently. I for sure wasn’t expecting such a nice gift so early in our relationship so it seems to me like she does care for me. I hate to say it but it’s almost like she doesn’t seem interested but at the same time does? That makes no sense but that’s the feeling I get sometimes. If she never initiated any communication, never wanted to see each other then I’d know it’s pointless to continue. But since she drives to see me on the weekends and says she wants a serious relationship then it seems that she does like me. I’m just not used to a girl not wanting to talk.

Answer 1

This is kinda freaky since it seems like im that girl and you are my friend.I mean that this all sounds too familiar as I am going thru the same thing.The distance(1 hr),the weekends,me going to see him,no sex ect.After 2.5 months of this we had our talk,which was just last week.I told him how I felt and expect something more serious.
I dont think he got it,just like you!But I think im just as confused cause at times I want so much to be with him and at other times I feel so distant from him cause reality kicks in and the sad factor of the distance between us discourages me.Every relationship needs constant attention and because of the distance we have to work even more harder for it to work.Ive questioned myself-do i really want this?Yes and no.I cant explain.He said to me that we should just let it be ;and I cant live like that.Its either we together or we not.Sorry but I cant really give u an answer cause I dont know myself.

Answer 2

Well Buddy, I'm really not sure what to tell you. I would say she cares for you if she is willing to drive the hour to see you, but on the other hand I would never do the long distance relationship thing. It's too hard, and you dont really know what the other person is doing back home. Maybe you need to step back and think about this relationship. Find your true feelings for this girl. A good, strong relationship has to have communication. If she doesn't communicate with you where is it going?

Answer 3

That's a switch ~ and you're complaining? Most guys think that girls talk too much. Consider yourself lucky. But seriously, she may be inexperienced as a conversationalist. You can teach her by finding interesting subjects to discuss. Eventually you might be more open to discussing what she means by "serious". Is she referring to intimacy or marriage or both. Before you do that though, I think you should examine how you really feel. I have a nagging feeling that some of her silence might be because she is waiting for you to make a move. So far you have been doing all the "conversation work" but she's been doing all the "togetherness work". Just because she offers, doesn't mean she shouldn't get credit for her contribution to your relationship.
I wish you both good luck.

(Our 44th wedding anniversary is Friday - we knew each other 6 weeks when we married - so what do I know? ;-))

Answer 4

She may not have anything to say. If nothing really major happens she just doesn't think about telling you every detail of it. I am the same way. If you ask me about something I will tell you but if i don't think it was anything Reilly big I will forget all about it. As for the serious part, it sounds like she is hinting to something more than just dating. You might should ask her what she wants from the relationship. Like does she want to be exclusive with you.

Answer 5

hmm confusing yes, well some people just dont know how to communciate. Maybe she was a really shy girl and now shes just opening up , i use to be shy but im like u always making the convo rolling. Up to u obviously she really likes u just tell her how u feel man no harm done, maybe something happened for her not to be open could be many things only u can decide which way u will turn.

Answer 6

Holy ****! I think she may want to talk but you don't give her the chance. That has to be the longest question I have ever seen here.

Sounds like she wants to have an exclusive relationship. She feels that the two of you may have a long term future together.

Answer 7

How much do you know about her? Have you ever been to her home or met any of her family or friends? These are things I would suggest doing if you have not. Be sure that you are both happy in your lives as well as each others and that nothing is being rushed.

Answer 8

I think you might have to wait and see what happens, long distance relationship can be really hard. I think maybe you should drive to her place for the weekend meet some her friends, see what she get up to in her environment.

Answer 9

Next time when your on the phone with her ask her (Do you have any questions for me today) You said you are the one who always talks.Could it be that you've already told her about your day?If she's driving that far she must like you.But remember communication is the most important issue in all relationships.If you don't have that now,then I would reconsider your relationship with her.

Answer 10

she just wants security and some type of insurance that you don't leave her after you nail her. its the dilemma of all women. how to keep a man after giving it up to him. she wants to be serious cuz she "believes" it will somehow make you stay with her.